787 replies to this topic

[Macman]

Surin, it's a nice neighborhood and I feel completely safe. And you're right, very few Caucasians in this town, but oddly enough there's a Kiwi (I hope that's not a derogatory designation) living here in my apartment building. He's married to a local. The accommodations are quite comfortable except for one thing - NO HOT WATER. Actually it's not so bad. Back home, I lived in a suburb just outside New York City. The water there was very cold, and if there was no hot water, it would be brutal. Here, because of the constant heat, even the cold water is luke-cold, to coin a word. One thing I will probably never get used to is the staring. Everyone stares at us. It's not because I'm foreign. Last February I went for a long walk by myself, and hardly anyone even glanced at me. When I'm with Angel, we're like a freak show. Angel is fairly tall for a Filipino (5' 7" at least),so most locals know the score, and our age difference is another factor. She's also quite attractive, so guys will stare anyway. Women stare discreetly, kids stare innocently, but guys just plain out-and-out, no bones about it, STARE. So far, no one has made any loud comments or made any kind of threatening gestures, but it's slightly uncomfortable.
Surin, I've been retired for a few years, but this is definitely NOT something I ever planned on doing. Angel and I had a connection on line (Skype, Yahoo Messenger) that started out friendly, then flirtatious, then progressed to romantic, but I assumed that it would remain a cyber romance and go no further. She kept urging me to visit, but I had no plans in that direction. Then a young women I had worked with suffered a massive stroke and died. She was 38 years old. Life is too short. I had airline miles that I was hoarding for God-knows-what reason. I decided to take the plunge and visit, not really expecting much. We hit it off right away. A few visits and I decided to give this a chance. I know it's strange, but my 2 sons know all about this. The younger guy cautioned me to make a few visits before I decided, and he was right. BTW, he thinks it won't work; that I'll get too homesick. My older son encouraged me right from the start. He said that we both deserve to be happy. (Coincidentally, Angel is sitting here, writing a letter to him right now.)
Hey, I have something I want to share that I think will strike a chord with you guys, but we have to get ready to go out soon. I'll pick this up again.
One aside - does Pampamsam still own LaBamba? I sent him a PM when I decided to do this. I know he picked it up, but he never replied. I'm not sure if he remembers me. I've never been to LOS, but Sam and I spoke on the phone in New York a couple of times. It was about the Franck fiasco. Oh, man, those were weird times. Pentire and I were playing a game of intrigue, with me as the spy, conversing with Franck's "son", Felipe. Anyway, if anyone knows Sam, give him my regards.

[Macman]

Oh, shoot. I meant to respond to xyzzy and sunnydaze, but forgot.
x (if I may call you by your first letter), here it's 200 PHP per transaction by the P.I. banks, and I'm pretty sure that the U.S. bank has a foreign transaction fee of 3% or something. There's a Citibank in Cebu, but it's not really a bank. It's a business office, but it does have an ATM. Fortunately, one of my best friends is also my broker. I've transferred my money from Citi to his brokerage firm. They pick up most of the charges.
Sunny, I think you're right. I'll be going to Cebu in 2 weeks. I've been to 2 of their malls, and they're spectacular. Thanks.

Macman

[dixon cox]

... but guys just plain out-and-out, no bones about it, STARE.

It seems to be more the case in asian countries outside of Thailand and I agree and know exactly what you mean. I find the blatant and continual staring intrusive and rude (must be a western thing), but to those staring and the ladyboys themselves it's not so much of an issue, I guess they're used to it and immune.

In Thailand it happens sometimes too and my LB GF at the time said a Thai word (she didn't know the English equivalent) which later online translated to "a work of art".

I often carry a camera around with me and sometimes smile at them broadly as I take their picture, they're not so keen on that and commonly look away immediately.


Loving this thread and reading about your life Mac, keep up the excellent commentary

[dazedandconfused]

Great stuff Macman. I lived out 'in the sticks' for a few years and it brings it all back!

Heading to Cebu or similar once a month is a good idea - you can pick up pretty much all the things that you once thought standard goods there.

If you buy a car my advice is the bigger the better. A small SUV sized vehicle means that a. you have more chance of being seen by other drivers b. less chance of suffering any major damage in a crash and c. you are sitting up higher so you get to see more. It's also amazing how many people will want a ride when they find that you have wheels so you can get more of them in with the extra space....

Doesn't take long to adapt to driving here - just assume a defensive attitude, assume that every pedestrian has a suicidal tendancy with a weird desire to bring it all to an end at the hands of a car driven only by a Westerner, and see the horn as your close and constant friend not something to be used only in extreme circumstances!

If you are applying for an ACR card be prepared for the long haul. Lots of paperwork and asscociated work. If you find a decent / honest Fixer consider using them. It's definitely worth getting official status (ACR, Retirement Visa, Quota Visa etc) here because without it is very difficult to get credit cards, driving licenses and so on. It's not good to live on an ATM / Debit card from your home bank and at some point you might want to have some of the PI related stuff in your name.

Cheers

[Macman]

Thanks for the kind words, Dixon. That camera thing is a pretty good idea. I told Angel and she just laughed. You're right; it doesn't seem to bother her a bit.

Those are some great tips, Dazed. I mentioned the idea of a Fixer to Angel, and she's going to ask around. She has a lot of contacts, so I'm sure someone will know a reliable one. Thanks.

Well, we're off to dinner at Angel's uncle's house soon. It's his daughter's birthday. She's a sweet kid, and was probably the friendliest to me on my first visit. She's 16 today. She's a beauty too, and Angel is already lamenting about how quickly she's growing up. I'm not sure if it's the same throughout Asia, but birthdays are a big thing here, even for adults. Angel's sister's birthday is the 19th. She has a pretty big family and tons of friends, so I think I'll be spending a lot of time celebrating.

Oh, I wanted to tell you about the thing I thought might be of interest to BMs, mainly because it's a much-discussed topic here. Angel has a good friend named Pao. She's a ladyboy, but because she's a nurse, she can't dress as a woman. She's forced to wear her hair in an ambiguous manner; slightly long for a man and slightly short for a woman. Pao and I had chatted a few times on Skype when she visited Angel. She is extremely intelligent and has a great sense of humor. She also loves to debate. She came over to visit the other day, my first in person meeting with her. Angel's cousin, sister and goddaughter were here too, so Angel was chatting with them and Pao and I were having a lively conversation in the other room. Out of nowhere, she said, "If you don't mind me asking, when did you first realize that you were gay?" The famous "Are we gay" question put directly to me, not in the form of a question, but as a stated fact (the only question being "when".)!! It didn't bother me a bit because, like many BMs, I don't much care about labels. I don't consider myself gay, or even bi for that matter. The only reason for that is that I have no interest in men at all. The thought doesn't disgust me; I just don't have an interest. I know many will say I'm kidding myself, but that's okay. It's just not important. If something were to happen to this present relationship, I'm sure I'd go back to dating women exclusively. There are just too many problems accompanying a man/ladyboy relationship. I don't love Angel because she's an LB, but because she's Angel. Anyway, I told Pao that the question has come up many times in a forum in which I take part. I also told her just about what I just said here to you. She said that there are three stages of being gay: 1) denial, 2) confusion, and 3) acceptance. She feels I'm in the confusion stage. We got into a pretty deep conversation. She meant no offense and none was taken. It was actually fun. We had to discontinue our debate, with the promise of future discussions. I'm looking forward to it.

Well, Angel's uncle will be picking us up soon, so I'd better get ready. Thanks for listening, guys.

Macman

[Legend]

excellent updates macman,
this stuff definately gives us something to think about.
hopefully your writings will continue and we can enjoy long term updates to go along with putytats thread.

note to mods -

should this thread be moved to philipines section now.?

[Macman]

Thanks again, Anthony. You have a point about moving the thread, but the question is whether this is a thread about life in The Philippines or about a relationship with a transgendered person. I guess to me it's more about a romance, with all it's various pleasures and problems, but I'll let the moderators decide.

I woke up very early this morning bathed in sweat. I glanced over at Angel. She had kicked off the blanket, but was sleeping peacefully. I noticed the air conditioner wasn't running. I went out of the bedroom and tried the lights. No electricity. No electricity in my apartment means no water too because it runs on an electric pump. I sat around and played chess on my laptop for a while, not wanting to wake Angel. Eventually I got dressed and went outside. The man from New Zealand was outside with his wife and daughter. We exchanged a few pleasantries and I mentioned that I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to the blackouts. "Welcome to The Philippines, mate," was his answer. I noted that it was a bright sunny day, not stormy, so I didn't expect it. "Could be anything; working on the lines somewhere, the owner didn't pay the electric bill, anything, mate," he said. I decided that I might as well get my walk in since there was nothing else to do. It was 8:00 AM but felt like noon. The sun was blazing. I walked for almost an hour and got back to the apartment dripping wet, hoping with all my might that the power was back up. No such luck. The power wasn't up, but Angel was. She cooked me a nice breakfast (we cook with propane gas). We were out of eggs, so we had pork chops, sweet bacon, ham and, of course, rice. Lot of meat. I lay on the bed and passed out. At about 10 minutes to noon, I was awakened with a kiss. "Good morning again, my love. We have electricity." Music to my ears.

We were supposed to be going ziplining today, but our friends decided that it will be too crowded on a Saturday. We plan on going on Monday. Damn. The cable guy is supposed to be coming on Sunday. If he does, I'd be able to see game 6 of the NBA finals on Monday (here). I know Angel would change our plans if I mentioned it, but I want to make every effort to fit in here with this new life of mine. I'll have to root for The Heat to win so there will be a game 7. I want the Mavs to take it all, though.

Oh, one thing I noticed this morning. I went all over the place on my walk. I got very few stares, and a number of "good morning's" and "como esta's", so it's definitely not the foreign thing. It's only when I'm with Angel. I took a few photos yesterday and this morning. When I get a few more, I'll start posting them.

No word from anyone on Pampamsam. Well, we're getting a late start on our day because of the outage, so I'll sign off now.

Macman

[Macman]

Oh, one afterthought about Anthony's suggestion to move the thread. In looking at the Philippine section of the Forum, it seems to be about the "ladyboy scene" in P.I. The moderators can certainly move it as they choose, but I can say with absolute certainty that my thread will NEVER be about the LB scene. This will be about a couple making every effort to find some happiness, and my struggles to overcome homesickness, huge adjustments to my lifestyle and the unrelenting heat. This is more like the "Thailand General" section, except it's in The Philippines. That's my humble plea to remain in this section.

[Macman]

I chickened out. Damn!! We went zip lining today at The Philippines highest suspension bridge. It's about a 2-hour drive from here, and the sun was about as strong as I've ever felt it. We went with another couple and a female friend. I took one look, and realized that there was no way I was going to do it. I have a terrible fear of heights. As a matter of fact, it was even hard for me to watch the others do it. When we got back, my Kiwi neighbor said I'd always regret not doing it when I told him that I had balked. I do have a little bit of regret, but I don't have anything to prove to myself. Ten years ago I went skydiving, despite being petrified. That's enough for me. We stopped for lunch at a resort town and had seafood and barbeque. It was a fun day.

A silly aside, but one that I think characterizes our relationship - one of the things that I love about Angel is that she makes me laugh every day. My older son had written a letter to Angel and given me a gift for her when I was leaving. You need to know that he's a bit of a hermit; he has no phone and no computer. For that reason, he has never talked or Skyped with Angel, but feels he knows her through me. He's also considerably older than her. The other night, Angel got out some stationary and penned a letter to him. She thanked him for the gift and for his good wishes. She assured him that she's taking good care of me. She then said, "By the way, you can call me 'mom'." After a little more small talk, she added, "For Christ's sake, get a phone. Those are a mom's orders." She's a pisser.

Here's some crappy news. We left the key to our apartment with the owner when we were leaving this morning because the cable guy was scheduled to come here. When we got back, the owner told us he hadn't come yet. We both took a nap because we had gotten up so early this morning. At 3:15, I got up so I'd be ready for him. Angel just got up (it's a little after 5:00 PM now), and told me she just received a text from the cable company, saying that the guy was here at 3:00. I never heard him. Damn it. God knows when he'll be back. Well, more DVDs tonight, I guess.

Macman

[Surin Nix]

Man, I start sweating just reading this Mac. It must feel like you are about 1 mile from the sun...

Looks like you got your wish with the Mav's winning it in fine style! Were you able to catch the game anywhere? Are there any sports-bars within a reasonable distance from you? I can imagine that American basketball probably doesn't rank high among must-see television viewing for most Filipinos.

...That is quite the story regarding the budding relationship between Angel and your son.

You are one interesting guy Mac. Keep up the great reporting. Despite your zipline reticence, we still hold you in the highest regard.

Nix

[Macman]

Thanks, Surin. Actually the NBA is about the only American sport on TV here. I see lots of kids playing it. I think one of the reasons for its popularity here is the fact that it's a relatively inexpensive sport, as far as equipment, space, etc. It's not unlike the U.S. where the sport is dominated by black Americans, most of whom come from the inner city. Even the poorest of neighborhoods will have a pole and a raggedy old basket. I didn't catch the game because we were out zip lining, and because the cable guy hadn't come yet.

I know the fact that my sons know of this may sound strange to some (hell, it sounds strange to me), but I'm glad it's out in the open like that. I didn't mention it to my daughter for a number of reasons, the most important one being that I'm afraid she would let it slip to her mother, my ex-wife. That has nothing to do with the transgendered issue; I just don't see any reason to hurt my ex's feelings. She has been very supportive about my move here, saying she thinks it's great that I would attempt something so new at my age. I don't think she would feel quite so enthusiastic if she knew there was a romance involved. Gradually, over the course of the year, I'll mention that I met someone and we are dating casually. I doubt if I'll ever reveal the true nature of it. As for my sons, the younger one is fairly noncommittal. I don't think he wholly approves, not because he is necessarily against the gender aspect, but I think he worries that I'm making a mistake. I think he'd feel the same if Angel were a gg. Most people would be very skeptical about the motives of both Angel and me. The older guy actually encouraged me. When I expressed concern about the age difference and the fact that I would most likely be departing this earth while Angel was still relatively young, but old for a LB looking for a permanent relationship, he said, "Dad, you may be giving her the best years of her life, however brief." (Wow. Talk about a run-on sentence - that was a doosie.) He's had a few long-term relationships that went bust because, as he says, "Dad, I was the worst boyfriend ever, and I regret it." Concerning Angel, he commented, "I wish I had someone who makes me laugh every day." He also has long wanted to live on Guam (I have no idea why other than his hermit nature), and he says that my living within a few hours of there might be the impetus he needs to make his move.

Damn! This is turning into a soap opera or a love story instead of a report on adjusting to the P.I. Sorry, guys. I'll get back on track next post. Angel just woke up, so ... Oh, man, the cable guy's here. This promises to be a good day.

Macman