248 replies to this topic

[four17]

Greetings from Pattaya, Venice of the the Far East (and here everyone used to say it was Bangkok).

Sorry for the disruption, but the Internet fall down and go boom yesterday afternoon here at Chez Canterbury, and all last night was spent treading water (it pissed down pretty much from 9 p.m. on last night, and I think all of Pattaya was pretty much knee-deep in water) with the lovely Sonya from Linda Bar. So I've got two days to catch up, as well as some pictures to post.

But first some curry for lunch/breakfast ... and what do you know, it's raining again. D'oh!

[Legend]

really enjoying this report man, keep it up.
like your style.

i wondered if you are flying solo the whole trip, or going to meet up with other bm,s.?

[kliome]

Thanks for a superb Trip Report and for being on Mullet watch..

Personally I think Mullets get a bad rep and are much under appreciated, I would go for one myself but I'm still trying to grow out a Kevin Keegan perm. Sadly I'm currently stuck as a Rudi Voeller.

[four17]

@ Ant70: I like to travel solo, but am never averse to meeting up with peeps with like-minded interests. No man is an island, and all that.

So I'll take this opportunity to reiterate -- any forum members here in Patts at the moment, or those living the expat life here want to meet for a drink, first round is on me for all the excellent advice over the years.

Oddly enough when I got up this morning -- well, this afternoon, heh -- and looked out the balcony door (once my eyes got past Sonya sitting there in a towel) I think I spied one DaveDuke aka 007 sitting on a balcony opposite my building on Soi Chaiyapoon, in Chez Canterbury proper (I'm currently staying in the south wing, commonly referred to as the massage girl addition).

I'll keep an eye out for him.

@ Kliome: Wow, as a Yank who never followed footie until well into my adult years, I only ever knew of Keegan as England's national team manager (with a much more conservative head). But he was rockin' the long, luscious locks back in the playing days, eh? He could have fronted REO Speedwagon.

As for you rockin' a Rudi Voeller 'do, you have the little policeman mustache to match?

[four17]

And here's the lovely and ever popular La Bamba mamasan Nok modeling a faux leather corset, pill-box hat and assorted lingerie (note the flesh-colored banana hammock):

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[four17]

... and let's not forget Cindy (as if we could), steamy as usual:

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[four17]

And here's a couple of Pinky and pal (Pinky is on the right; I can't think of her friend's name -- so if anyone want's to chime in with that, please do):

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[four17]

So Wednesday night, Day 4: after a good nights sleep the chi is restored, batteries recharged, and so forth. In other words, ready for some serious debauchery; drinking and wanton, casual sex with a pro is in order.

I head out early for me, around 9 ish, and the first thing on the agenda is an ATM. First I try Bank of Siam (I think), the big purple one, only to be reminded that these machines have never worked for me and my Yankee cards. I try Kasikorn, the green ones, and I'm flush with baht. Anyone else have any probs with these ATMs?

Financially prepared to offer remuneration for my proclivities that involve ladies of ill repute (oh, I'm on a roll here), I stop in at Koyo 7, anticipating another few rounds of pool with Bell, followed by a few rounds of knockin' boots. No customers though, and the bevy of girls is clustered in the corner, gabbing, applying makeup, etc. The bartender informs me that "Bell, she go 7-11. You hab drink, wait her?" I consider for a moment whether she is indeed at 7-11, or out on a short-time.

I'm dammned if I'm going to wait in line at the amusement park for the Tilt-a-Whirl when there's no line for the Roller Coaster. Even if the Tilt-a-Whirl is smokin' hot and stacked like a brick outhouse. So I tell her to tell Bell that I stopped by, and that I'll be back sooner or later to chalk her stick.

I hoof it it up to La Bamba, hoping that I can get the chance to meet Cindy, finally. And who should be standing out front to beckon to me like a siren to a sailor? She is even more stunning in person, and I spend a pleasant hour or two in La Bamba, either getting to know Cindy or taking pictures. I learn that there is no such thing as a few simple snapshots in La Bamba -- just getting that shot above with the sign involved no less than two seperate sessions separated by a wardrobe change for Nok.

If I had known I would have hired a grip, some hot lights, and a backdrop. Sometimes ladyboys are more lady than ladies, you know?

Funny thing talking to Cindy, she's a lovely girl, stunning to look at, intelligent, good English, but I just wasn't feeling the chemistry this night. She was perfectly social, and I'm sure all I had to do was say the word and we would be off to the short-time room. But I don't know ... just couldn't quite put my finger on it, but my instincts said this wasn't my bar fine tonight.

Don't get me wrong, Cindy is awesome and I still want to see what she looks like sans clothing - but it wasn't to be this night. If one thing my four decades has taught me, it's listen to my gut -- especially when it comes to mongering.

One other thing to mention -- Pinky is as hot as her pictures indicate. No breasts, if boobs are a deal breaker for you, but that face is to die for.

So it's checkbin -- and I should add that there wasn't a hit of attitude or problem from anyone; Nok's place is a class joint (albeit a small one), as many of you know -- and back out into the night.

It's about 11:30 by now, and my feet were taking me back towards Walking Street, when I made the snap decision to go check out Obsessions Pattaya. Haven't been there yet this trip, but with Chase LB's photos in mind, I decide that yes, this must be remedied post haste. Following my gut.

I walk in expecting a hard sell a la Temptations or Cascades in Nana, and I'm not disspaointed. A clingy young more-or-less lady takes some convincing that I'm just here to look for a while and have some drinks -- I buy her a drink to smooth things over, and she finally gets the hint. I spy many of the lookers from the Obsessions thread, most of who seem busy with customers though -- d'oh! Eventually I beckon a lovely down from the stage, Ouie.

A nice girl, we chat for a bit and I buy her a drink. She works her mojo, but I'm still holding back, eyeing the competition. As lovely as Ouie is, I can't help but find lust in my heart, as Jimmy Carter said, for both Eyes and the bodacious Tata. Alas, all are entertaining customers at tables. And Opor, another one on the keep-an-eye-out-for list, doesn't seem to be present. Beem doesn't seem to be busy, and she is hot, but I'm not ready to give Ouie the boot just yet. Follwing my gut still.

Plus I was entertained by this Indian couple: the Obsessions ladies had the Indian girl up on stage dancing with them while a couple others were rubbing various parts all over her chubby Indian boyfriend. And to think I didn't even have to pay any money for this entertainment.

Ah, but what's this? The punters at Tata's table have got up to leave, and she's doffing her street duds to get up and dance in a g-string and electrical tape covering her nipples. She soon catches me staring and flashes a million-watt smile and those big doe eyes and I'm asking Ouie if she minds if I talk to the girl with the big tattoo down her leg.

She says of course and hops up to fetch her. I didn't mean that Ouie had to get up and leave, but she soon returns to the stage. I feel a bit guilty, but it's hard too feel too bad with Tata sitting next to me. And soon Ouie is the lap of another punter, so all is well.

I had pegged Tata for "the superstar" and was pleasantly surprised to find her to be intelligent and thoughtful with excellent English and zero attitude. And she is actually somewhat reserved -- well, as much as someone in a g-string and tape over her nipples and nothing else can be. No grabbing the cock in the bar, no hard sell, just pleasant conversation, subtle flirtation -- a hint dropped here, a caress of the thigh here.

Check-bin!

This also seems like an excellent opportunity to see the infamous rooms in the Penthouse in person. I ask Tata if the short-time rooms are the same as the regular guest rooms and she confirms that they are indeed the standard rooms. So upstairs we go, and they are as incredibly sleazy and cheesetastic as one imagines. It's like, if Gatlinburg, Tenn. had brothels, the rooms would look just like this.

And free porn -- what is it with the ladyboys and gay porn? I guess it makes sense. I like ladyboy and lesbian porn, after all. Among its many amenities the Penthouse offers free porn. Tata is sensitive enough to suggest that I might not like gay porn, and I tell her she's right; I much prefer the Japanese vagina that was on the screen when she first flipped it on (what, no ladyboy porn? In Pattaya?) but nevertheless instruct her to put it on whichever channel she wants. Ever the gentleman, I am. At least it was fairly conservative gay porn -- no leatherboys on parade or some such.

Besides, she could have put C-Span on for all I cared.

Clothes removed and showers taken finds us a while later on the bed. A little fellatio ensues, and then Tata asks me what I want, that she will do *anything* I wish. "I want you to kiss me," I said. She is surprised but seemingly delighted by this unexpected response. "Really?"

"Yes, of course."

And then my friends, nirvana ensued. Seriously, it was that fucking good/that good fucking. I haven't had a session like that in some time: imagine a porn star experience *and* a girlfriend experience. Passion and serious freakiness. I dunno if it was chemistry or what, or just treating her like I would any other woman I was with, but bam! The earth moved.

I should add that I know bodacious Tata is not everyone's cup of tea, and some of you miss the innocent femboy of a few years ago -- you don't find the current poster girl for Bangkok's surgical clinics to your tastes. I can understand that, but all I can say is those breasts and that ass are pillow-soft perfection. Where the man-made material ends and the flesh begins in those perfect globes housed underneath that tiny feminine waste I can't say. And I spent considerble time kneading them like bread dough, let me tell you. That ass is pristine, inside and out -- I spent considerable time on close, detailed, probing examination.

Seriously, that waste-to-hip ratio she sports, one I realize that probably isn't possible in nature, does things to me in a subliminal way, somewhere in my reptillian brain. 100,000 years of evolution go straight out the window when I stare at Tata's ass.

Damn, I keep getting distracted writing this. I'll say it again: it was *that* good.

As if I weren't impressed enough, there was no attitude when funds were exchanged, and before we parted ways, she made it a point to tell me, after I told her that I would *definitely* be back to see her before I left, that if I wanted to butterfly and take someone else that she understood and that it was no problem, just let her know first, and maybe buy her a drink. "Oh, of course," I said, but after that experience, I can't imagine taking anyone else out of there if she wasn't occupied first.

Another class act. I seem to be batting a thousand this trip, when it comes to picking the ladies (due in part to all of the helpful info gleaned from past trip reports, I might add). Makes me wonder when I'm going to swing away on a 3-2 count (sorry for the baseball analogy, you Brits, Euros and assorted folk from Oz and NZ, but I don't understand cricket enough to make a proper analogy).

Fortunately, my time with Sonya the next night only extended my streak of classy ladyboys on my first Sewage-on-Sea venture.

P.S. no pic taking in Obsessions (unless you're Chase LB, heh) and Tata didn't want any pics taken in the room, which I of course, being a gentleman, honored without fuss. She suggested I take some outside the hotel after the festivities, but I done plum forgot, having been sated by her and her considerable charms.

So just in case any noobs are lurking and wondering who I'm talking about, I'll borrow a snap from the aforementioned Chase and the Obsessions Pattaya thread.

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[four17]

I'll keep this Day 5 report relatively short for once. Stress being on relatively; as you have learned by now, Dear Gentle Reader, I can be quite prolific/verbose. A shrewd reader might even guess my former vocation

Anyway, tonight had a specific goal, and that was Sonya from Linda Bar. So I braved the elements and made my way to Walking Street. Me and Sonya proceeded to gab and drink for an hour or two, watching the rain come down and the crazy people in Walking Street. We were going to go play pool somewhere when the rain stopped, but several drinks later we concluded that it wasn't going to stop, so we brave the rain and ensuing flood waters to a pool hall farther up Walking Street, the one adjacent to Blues Fusion.

As you can see from the pictures below, it was soon underwater.

Okay, that was an exaggeration. Only slightly.

Back in the bar, Sonya suggested we make a bet. Five games of pool; whoever wins at least 3 out of five gets to be top; other person is bottom.

Now, I'm not a crack shot, but I'm better than your average joe. I grew up with a table in the house (I remember when I was young enough that I couldn't see over it) and I'm not a stranger to the bar business (my youth was largely misspent, I might add -- but I had my fun). Most ladyboy bars and beer bars I've been in that have a pool table, I've found I can win more often than not.

But I wasn't about to take this bet. And it's a good thing, too -- Sonya cleaned my clock. Granted I wasn't shooting my best -- it comes and goes; when I was playing Bell in Koyo the other night, I could have made Minnesota Fats nervous -- but she's a good shot. She tried to hand me a line back in the bar that she wasn't that good. Obvious bullshit, in retrospect.

Fortunately, I'm pretty laid back -- it's no big deal loosing at pool. I get amused by these guys that get all bent out of shape and aggro when they loose. It's a game of pool in a bar, dude. Doesn't mean anything in the larger scheme of things. And better to lose to a hot ladyboy than beat some random guy.

Anyway, I'll just conclude that everything you've read about Sonya is true. Beautiful, intelligent, articulate/great English, not to mention a smattering of other languages, thanks to a Swiss father. When is the last time your ladyboy looked over her shoulder back at you and whispered huskily to you in French during sex? Yeah, I would have said "never" too, until last night. A lot of fun to be with in and out of the bedroom as well. My first (that should be telling) experience with her wasn't crazy hot like my time with Tata, but I certainly have no complaints; it was still very good. Still batting a 1.000 this trip.

And I know I just got done saying I don't like long-times, but I wasn't about to send Sonya home with seemingly all of Pattaya knee-deep water. On the way to Kiss Food from Walking Street at 2 a.m., there were motorbikes stranded everywhere, water at the corner of 2nd Road and South Road was nearly ass deep on a tall ladyboy, and down most of 2nd Road it was up to the running boards on a baht bus. And still spitting rain.

Even being the lone wolf that I am, waking up to Sonya can't be considered a bad thing.

So yeah. Can't say enough good things about this girl. I think I'm going to take a page from Teppis' playbook and go see the Tiffany show with her.

Okay, we're up to date. As for tonight, I'm feeling pretty chill. I seem to be falling into a two-on; one-off rotation here in Sexpattaya. Although after all the ladyboy lovin' I think I might possibly be in the mood for GG lovin'. Yeah, I know, but variety is the spice of life, after all, and if there are a lot of ladyboys here, there must be a zillion cute bar girls. And even after several years of ladyboys, for me nothing still beats going down on a girl until my face feels like a glazed donut.

P.S. all but the last one of these four photos was taken with my phone, so pardon the meh quality.

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[Rollo]

Fortunately, I'm pretty laid back -- it's no big deal loosing at pool. I get amused by these guys that get all bent out of shape and aggro when they loose. It's a game of pool in a bar, dude. Doesn't mean anything in the larger scheme of things. And better to lose to a hot ladyboy than beat some random guy.

Opps...I am one of those

[petesie]

A damn good read there 417...keep up the cliches 'n clinches as this is the most entertaining story on the Forum...

Tata is a class act (no I haven't) and I always enjoy a natter with her...did you get the reason why she's single again? I last seen her some months ago (pre obsessions) looking drop dead gorgeous in WS walking a golden Labrador...I kid you not.

I always have time for Sonya (still haven't) and have a few drinks with her on every visit. She's getting great press of recent which she surely deserves...great kid.

[patrick]

Great TR 417, love your verbose style, you should be in line for a commission from Tata and Sonya, they should certainly be busier after everyone has read your reportage.