248 replies to this topic

[four17]

Well, it's been confirmed, I am not only still a hansum man, but at least two ladies addressed me as young man. After nearly a year away from Thailand I had begun to wonder, but now that I've returned, I can see my worrying was all for naught.

Of course when I hear "Hey young man, where you go?" I always look behind me, affect a bewildered look and say "What? Where is there a young man? I don't see any young man. You ting tong."

I'm a card like that.

I've also been a long-time lurker here, but never posted -- I'm more of an antisocial networker, I guess. But as I've drawn a lot of good info and advice over the years from this and other forums, mainly TLB, I figured it was time to pay it back -- or is that forward -- with a trip report. I used to live in Thailand once upon a time and have mongered much in Bangkok, Chiang Mai and Hua Hin (props for Mr. BB for turning me onto this awesome laid-back beach town -- sort of the anti-Pattaya). But somehow never made it Pattaya.

Well, after some time at home I've returned to Southeast Asia, and before I settle down to work, I thought a holiday in Thailand was in order, and that perhaps it was time to see Sewage-on-Sea (I believe Jimbo of C&D's coined that bon mot).

After my first 24 hours or so here, it doesn't strike me as any worse than any other Thai town for its size, in terms of cleanliness, but then Pattaya must reign supreme on the cheese-and-sleaze factor. In other words, I think I like it.

My first evening I was pretty fagged (heh) as the Brits say, jet lagged and whatnot (I usually break up the flights over here, but I didn't this time -- ugh, never again). So I took a nap and then went out to reconnoiter a bit before coming back to my room to crash. Mostly just located several places I wanted to check out tonight and ensuing nights, getting the lay of the land and whatnot, but I did stop in at Koyo 7 and played several games of pool with the bodacious and bootylicious Bell. I will definitely be heading back to bar fine her at some point soon; she is a sweet girl, good fun and easy on the eyes, if you like the bombshell type, and I do. I also like the petite/hormone titties type too -- variety is the spice of life and all that. But I should add that Bell didn't even hint at a hard sell either the whole time we were hanging out playing pool -- not even when I went to leave because I was dead on my feet. This is a huge plus in my book.

I also stopped at Stringfellows on the way home, just before they closed, because even though I don't have a list, per se, the lovely Jen has always caught my eye in other's reports and the Stringfellow's thread/forum. Alas, she is back home in Laos visiting the peeps, doing a visa run or both -- the girl I spoke with didn't have the best English, and it's a bit loud in there. And there are many other lovely ladies in there, but man, some of them are queens of the hard sell. Ann, for example, a lovely example of feminine pulchritude, who just wouldn't let it go -- she was playful about it, but still. I realize it's low season, and apparently a tough one at that, from what I hear, and further realize that this is their job and whatnot, so it doesn't really bother me too much, but for anyone new to this place who doesn't like the hard sell, well, consider yourself warned.

I'm afraid I don't have any pix yet, but I'll post some eventually -- funny, I've always been quite the shutterbug, but then I tend toward "making art," as high-falutin' as that sounds, and am pretty lazy about taking snapshops. Particularly when it means dragging a camera body and a couple of lenses and a flash around -- meh. But I picked up a Canon G12 recently and it's pretty cool; basically a DSLR with a fixed lens. I'm curious to see how it does with low-light portraits and whatnot.

So anyway, to all the regulars here, thanks again for all the good info over the years; hopefully this read will end up being mildly entertaining at the least. And if anyone who reads this is out and about in Pattaya right now, or Bankgok in a couple weeks -- there's a few ladies up there I have to get reaquainted with before I move on -- first round is on me; just let me know where to find you (and if it's Famous Bar, you might have to draw me a map). And any nooberts out there reading this, I hope you can glean some useful information from my forthcoming reporting.

Well, time for a nap prior to tonights festivities. Ta for now.

[Surin Nix]

417,

An excellent post for a 1st time post, and a 1st time trip report!

I am amazed that you were a member of the forum so long before actually communicating with the membership. You have your reasons, but allow me to say welcome.

Thanks for taking the time to write what is already unfolding to be a very interesting TR. I'll be looking forward to every aspect of your trip!

Nix

[Macman]

Let me second the welcome, four17. Five years of lurking must be some kind of a record. I'm looking forward to your postings.

[soulboy]

Good to see you posting four17 , good reading

[petesie]

4 years and no posts?

I'm surprised you bothered...erm...any pics yet?

Great to see you posting here "young man" some excellent writing skills so far and I think we're all eager to see how you get on in Nutsville...hope this TR's a long one!

The G12 should serve you well, excellent quality camera and plenty of scope for the experienced (you) and inexperienced (me) photography enthusiast...

Good luck on the prowl mate. ;-)

[Bumblebee]

and Hua Hin (props for Mr. BB for turning me onto this awesome laid-back beach town -- sort of the anti-Pattaya). But somehow never made it Pattaya.

Great to hear you are now a Hua Hin fan also Four. It is a good option as a counterweight to Patts I agree. Nice start to your TR, I am looking forward to seeing some of your art shots, keep it coming, cheers.

[patrick]

A TR is a great way to break your duck, welcome to the world of posting, looking forward to seeing how your trip unfolds, anyone that can use pulchritude in context can only lift the standards round here

[onetruesaxon]

Nice start four I am looking forward to see how you think LOS has changed since your last trip.

[Surin Nix]

A TR is a great way to break your duck, welcome to the world of posting, looking forward to seeing how your trip unfolds, anyone that can use pulchritude in context can only lift the standards round here

Pulchritudinousness would surely countermand the prevailing ennui of late.

[four17]

I shall endeavor to uphold the tradition I have established with further ostentatious displays of vocabulary proficiency.

And many thanks for the kind words, all. OTS, you still around, or did you fly back already?

And Petesie, some pics will come, promise. And maybe some arty farty stuff as well.

We now return you to the trip report, already in progress:

Day the Second

So after a nap and the usual ablutions I was out the door. The plan -- well, one of the vague notions that passes for plans when I'm on holiday -- was to head up Soi Buakhao to Pook Swan, shoot some pool, and unless someone struck my fancy, catch a baht bus to Soi 6 and So What and the other Pooks. Halfway there I realize I left the camera back in the room, but figure I'll stop back and grab it before I head up Soi 6 way.

I played pool with a tall lovely who was also a borderline glamazon, this seeming to be the prevailing type in Pook Swan. Not really my thing, and there were a few cuties who were, but they were occupied with punters. And she was a sweet girl with good English, and fun to play pool with -- not as much as Bell, who is a good shot -- but fun. No hard sell, either, and no problem when I told her I had plans to meet someone at the other Pooks (which was more or less true, if I made it that far) -- not so much as a hint of a pout or attitude. For that, she earned a 100 baht tip after the check bin.

I feel bad because I can't remember her name, but then I'm shit with names -- great with faces; bad with names.

Anyway, of course about the time I leave the heavens open up and it's pissing down rain. D'oh. But like the postal service of my country, neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow will keep me from my appointed rounds. So instead of retreiving the camera (sorry Petsie), I retrieve my 50-baht Family Mart umbrella that has served me for a year now and head back out. A wet slog and a baht bus ride later found me venturing down Soi 6.

The deluge was proving more than a bit much for my wee umbrella so refuge from the elements was sought and won in the interior of So What, where the lovely Am welcomed me with open arms. As we all know, to-do lists are pointless for various reasons, but I still maintain a keep-an-eye-out-for list in the back of my head. Goob and Got are on that list, but I didn't either last night, and besides, I determined Am fit the the bill. Very cute, long legs, lovely breasts, good English and most important of all, chemistry.

Three drinks a piece later we were ready to head upstairs when the bell rang -- by one of the staff! There was some excitement outside So What last night; apparently someone decided to park virtually on the front door step, and then got all pissy when informed this wasn't legit. I guess he came back later and flipped the bird at the girls out front -- well you can imagine the reaction. I never did suss out if this guy was a foreigner or what, but unless he's a professional fighter I wouldn't want to be taking on the bigger girls in So What, especially Oa, who rang the bell after sending the troublemaker packing. Good on her.

So by now it's about 12:30 in the morning and both Am and I are well lubricated, so we finally make it upstairs -- ah, bliss! A year away from Thailand and ladyboys is too long, and Am helped make up for lost time. I cannot recommend her too much as a bottom and a lovely, passionate, steamy GFE. She's tops -- well, in a manner of speaking -- in my book. If you're looking for a top though, I don't think she's your girl; she can get hard but it's rather small and she only comes a dribble, if quickly (my tongue in her ass was apparently too much to bear, heh) -- but this was no problem as the rest of the sex was outstanding. Am either loves her job or is an Academy Award-worthy actress.

At this point I felt jet lag creeping up so figured it was time to head home. The first baht bus I flag down on Beach Road tries to tell me it's 100-baht -- no thanks pal. Nice try; no cigar. The next one two minutes later is the standard 10 baht fair. I decide on a whim to walk down Walk Street, as I thought maybe I might find another girl on my keep-an-eye-out for list, Tara, and maybe finally find Famous Bar, thinking that I would know where it is for the next time -- bear in mind, it's after 2 at this point.

Dear Gentle Reader, I honestly thought the night was winding down at this point and was ready for it to be so. But being fate's plaything, the evening wasn't over yet for me. So feel free to head out to the lobby for some jujubes or malted milk balls and a brief intermission -- or take the time to Google and find out wtf a jujube is.

*queue elevator music*

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[four17]

Day the Second, Part the Second

As I meandered down Walking Street, which was still very much alive despite the hour and the rain that was still piddling down, I spied Linda Bar and recalled Teppis' report about Sonya. So here comes detour no. 1. I talk to Om (Ohm?), a very tall glamazon but nevertheless a very lovely and feminine girl, despite being the Attack of the 50-foot Ladyboy. Seriously, she is a cool chick, and if I were 6'5" I'd be all about her. But I tell her a friend has recommended I meet Sonya and is she around? No, she's gone home, but she can give me her number and I can call her. I tell her no, that's okay, but what time does she come into work? I'll pop in the next day or the day after.

Ohm fills me in, and she's so nice about it, all helpful smiles, I figure she deserves a drink, so we retire to the bar for a round. She is a real class act. Excellent English, and again, no hint of a hard sell, fishing for tips, etc. Apparently she worked in Bangkok before coming to Pattaya; she's been in the business 5 years now she says. This amazes me, because she's not the hard-hearted, embittered lady one might expect from such a long time vet.

Incidentally, I spy what I'm sure is "the" Ex holding court with some girls in Linda bar. I ask Om if that is indeed Ex, and she says yes, would you like to meet her? Sure, so she makes introductions and the three of us talk for a bit. Ex is curious to know how I know of her, and I tell her she's famous, of course, and that I've seen her pictures on the Internet. She asks what site, and I tell her this one, and she smiles and says, "ah, that is long time ago." Yes, but you are still lovely as ever, I tell her.

Om tells her that I came in looking for Sonya, which prompts an exchange in Thai between the two. I raise an eyebrow at Om and she says that Ex has declared Sonya is the "no. 2 girl in the bar." I guess that implies that Ex is no. 1? I just assumed she was hanging out, but perhaps she is working out of there now. I'll see if I can clarify on my next visit.

So I bid adieu to Om, and wander up up Soi 16. I know from previous trip reports -- thanks again all -- that Playboy is closed and that Tara and Pookie were at Gemini bar -- or do I have it bass ackwards? Anyway, I know the bar they were working at in Soi 16 closed in the last year, and Tara was working in the bar nextdoor. Well, I strolled down Soi 16 and on into the Arab Quarter (I don't know if that's an official designation, but it should be), but see no sign of Tara. Of course the place is so crazy I could easily have walked right past her and not noticed.

The bars in the Arab Quarter were rollicking at 3 a.m. though, I might add. Might have to check out one of those hookah bars one of these days.

So I had a notion that I would venture down Soi VC, which Soi 16 runs into, figuring that I would find Famous by default, eventually, then meander up to Soi Buakhao and (temporary) home. Early in the afternoon I had tried to locate Famous by walking down from South Road and wandered all over Hell's half acre without finding it. I found every gay massage bar in Boys Town, though. It's funny -- they all sit outside and holler just like their girly counterparts. "Hansum man, where you go? You want massah? I take care you."

Thanks but no thanks fellas, but proceed to rock on with your fabulous selves. I wish I were half as buff and half as well dressed as most of these guys.

I had another reason for wandering down Soi VC; legend has it that there is a burger cart here that rivals Nana burgers. I find this difficult to believe, but I've had enough Sangsom at this point that I'm thinking it might be a good idea to chase it with some good 'ole artery clogging food. A quick stroll down the street and low and behold I see a buff looking guy (imagine that, in this neighborhood) hanging outside a bar smoking a hookah, and he's sporting the world's most outstanding mullet. I'm not being ironic; this guy rocks the mullet and makes it work. But the important thing is, I've seen him before: in pictures from trip reports about Famous Bar.

I must be close.

I look past him and there it is! Excelsior! Success! And there's the burger cart. Damn I'm good. Then I see lights on in Famous and ask buff-mullet-smoking-man -- whose a nice Iranian chap, it turns out -- if the bar is still open. He smiles and says yes, and walks me in. It seems to be my night for running into nice people.

Lita is there, and the only one in the bar besides some other guy at the end of the bar. She says she's open but the girls have all left to get food, it's so late and business so quiet. So I figure more Sangsom and soda is in order. When you've got a snootful, a little more always seems like a good idea. I end up talking with Lita for a good hour about all sorts of stuff -- life, business, Thai culture and work ethic -- she's actually quite articulate and a pretty sharp gal. And her pictures don't do her justice, she's quite cute.

And we played 21 -- once I got done showing off my fabulous card shuffling skills -- and she kicked my ass. 10 hands to two. That cost me a drink, but it's all good.

By this time a few of the girls come back, Pinky and Soda among them, and the latest Famous it-girl Guitar decides she doesn't want to sleep alone tonight -- in fact Lita tells me as much. "She doesn't want to sleep alone. She tell me she wants to sleep in an air-con room tonight."

What's a guy to do? Carpe diem. Damn the torpedoes. Another round later finds Guitar sandwiched between me and a moto taxi driver as we brave the left-over sprinkles on the way back to my room. It occurs to me as we risk near certain death a 100 times over in the span of a few blocks that this is a true Thai holiday moment if there ever was one.

It's good to be back in LoS.

And the burger is long forgotten; these things happen.

I can confirm what Arab and OTS have said; Guitar is a young, sweet passionate girl, another one who either loves the job or is a brilliant actress. Very little English, but then when you're both drunk at 4 a.m. well, verbal communication is the least of your worries. She's a bit shy once in the room, but plenty wild and uninhibited beween the sheets once things are rolling, and a GFE as well. Be prepared to cross tongues as well as swords.

The only problem was I'm not a long-time kind of guy. I don't even like sleeping with people I'm sleeping with, if you get my meaning, which might explain why I prefer working girls to the more traditional relationships. In six years of mongering, I could count the number of long times I've had on two hands -- the chemistry has to be just right. But apparently I agreed to take Guitar long time.

Damn you Sangsom, and your cheap, rummy goodness.

Oh well, go with the flow -- and now there was sex in the morning to be had as well. It was a little awkward when it came time for her to leave -- more of a language barrier than anything else, but I sent her off with a kiss and assured her I would see her again in Famous.

Here endeth the lesson for today.

P.S. I'm gonna take the camera along on tonight's rounds, provided it doesn't rain to beat hell again. I'd use my phone, but my beloved Nokia's image sensor is crap, except in perfect lighting conditions (i.e., not in bars).

P.P.S. By the way, you blonde hair aficionados, Soda is sporting some big ole blonde hair these days. Don't think it was a wig

[onetruesaxon]

Be prepared to cross tongues as well as swords.

Indeed she does like a tongue twirl.

To quote Lord Flashheart: From Blackadder 2 "She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils"

Excellent reading Fantastic 4