333 replies to this topic

[jimbo34]

So many rants over the last few weeks:

 

 The heat, sat in seat 50J at the back of a 747 going to and from Heath Row

 The price of an "Off Peak" rail ticket from Petersfield to London: 37.60 sterling

 The asking price of a view from The Shard 40 quid

 An hour to get through security at Heath Row

 No Smoking in pubs in the UK

 Attempting to tell my local Kasikonbank clerk that i've changed my phone number and could she amend her records so that i can still use my credit card. I called the Helpline myself in the end.

 Asking the local Kasikonbank clerk if we could have credit card facilities for the bar. I'm passing that one to NingNong as i was blowing a fuse

 Asking the local Kasikornbank manager to get some staff with an I.Q. bigger than a twig.

 Reminding the staff that C & D is a bar, not a fucking restaurant

 Getting the staff to clear up their rubbish having used the counter as a fucking restaurant table

 Having told the flower seller that i didn't want to give the bloke i was talking to a bunch of roses, i didn't want to be continually tapped on the shoulder

 Repeating same to the amulet seller

 And NO I DON't WANT TO BUY A SILLY MANICURE/PEDICURE SET !! FFS!

 Refusing to tip the guy at the fuel station for deigning to fill my petrol tank

 Asking the laundry lady to take back a pair of frilly girls knickers and exchanging them for my missing pair of Hom undies

 Constantly being forced off the pavement by hordes of gormless chinese who just stand around...being gormless

 Reminding the australian singlet-wearer that we require customers to actually buy a drink!

 I could go on......................

 

 Business as usual.

[Riche222]

/Comfort Jimbo - i know, I know, life is just like a chicken ladder - short and full of shit - espcially when you live in LOS, have to deal with tons a very good looking Ladyboys, it must be hard. I just bet you miss the drizzle back home and the need to wear thick jackets and long underpants and never be allowed to forget your umbrella when you step outta door. We all feel for you - and me I love to read your rants

[boomdraw]

living in Thailand n visiting are two different things completely, I don't think u can really enjoy Thailand until u truly don't care what every or dam near every thai person thinks, but yet u still have to put up with it, cuase u live there. hang in there jmbo and learn to truly not give a shit what thais think or want unless it makes u money or provides some service, kind of how they view you

[jimbo34]

Thurs 24th Oct

 

 A poor start to the day.

 I go to do a last banking before we head off to the volleyball tomorrow. My rants in the bank are well documented, but today was relatively easy, being midweek.

 However i then want to book the minibus to take 8 of us to the airport tomorrow.

 

 I have used this little travel shop in soi Paradise for a couple of years, booking everything from taxis, to boat trips for customers. But it's recently changed hands. The owner appears to be a big fat ugly woman with a bone-idle sprawled-in-an armchair son.

 

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I'd had an abortive attempt to book a taxi with her last week, as my normal guy had his phone off. When i told her i lived on the hill she said she didn't want to send an inexperienced driver up there. I told her i didn't want an inexperienced driver anyway, and persevered with my usual guy until he answered.

 

 Me: "i want to have a minibus tomorrow for 8 people going to the airport."

 

Fugly: "What time"

 

Me: "1 o'clock"

 

Fugly: "Ok, what time your flight?"

 

Me:"3 o'clock"

 

Fugly:"Not enough time"

 

Me:"Yes it is."

 

Fugly:"No, it isn't. Have to pick up at another hotel."

 

Me:"What the fuck you on about? We're meeting here, you don't have to go to any hotels".

 

Fugly:"Not enough time"

 

Me: (taking a deep breath) "Yes it is. It's no more than an hour to the airport, and we're taking a domestic flight. Plenty of time."

 

Fugly:"Not enough time"

 

(Phone rings, Fugly picks up and starts jabbering in thai, ignoring me)

 

Me: (exiting) " you stoopid fat bitch have just lost soo much money"

 

 I take some satisfaction knowing that she's just kissed goodbye to a considerable amount of money over the coming months. But frustrated that she doesn't care.

 

 I book with a charming and very attractive woman further up the soi.

 

 TiT.

[Nickkole]

Fugly had no idea on the future business she loss...

[anicon]

..wonder why the previous owner sold out & didn't let Jimbo know or recommend another travel service; but yes, TIT.. 

[jimbo34]

I'm brewing up for a rant about thai politics:

 

 Ms Yingluk, our "esteemed" Prime Minister is trying to force through the Amnesty Bill granting free pardon to all political crimes, and any other crimes those politicians may have committed. This would give Thaksin re-entry to Thailand and pardon for his crimes and corruption. Not to mention restoring the billions confiscated as a result of his criminality!

 

 No wonder the people are taking to the street! i've a mind to join them!

[jimbo34]

Wednesday

 

 So its time to restock the Skylab larder. I go down to the deli and pick up some bits and bobs, including "NZ fillet steak".

 

 I should mention at this point that the deli has recently changed hands from a happy smiling old thai guy to a sullen young cunt.

 

 I 've just (tried) to eat said "NZ fillet steak".

 Fuck me, the poor old nag that died to provide it must have been older than me! I've got (much) softer shoes than that rubbish.

 

 I've bagged up the unchewed bits and will be taking them to young sullen cunt tomorrow and ask him to have a chew and then tell me its genuine New Zealand beef!

 

It won't get me anywhere of course, but i'll enjoy making his morning a misery.

[boomdraw]

jimbo can I just say that perhaps u need less soy, your seeming like the smallest of things are driving mad, when ''cunt'' is the word u use for hamster brain thai its time for a nap, a temple visit and perhaps stay or just cutting back on the soy milk and other high estrogen containing thai vegatables (they have some of the highest in the world). . . . in todays world one needs like fakeing pity to also learn to fake careing, as lets be honest your in Phuket yapping about less then stellar imported meat..

 

 

today we live with options dietary of only the ancient elect n elite, we can have liquid concumbine pleaser erbal teas  and walk but a few more feet to find the chef on one of patongs 5 streets that properly prepare kao pad boo......

 

jaded hipsteritus is the modern woe and jimbo your no spring geab anymore so jaded might have morphed to ''fuck all the fuck all itus'' long ago, I guess we all need breaks from 7 days of Friday night a week, I say through that rubber fish threw the window with a beer condom from c and d's around its snout or just go short change a fellow hamster, keep it neitzchean but please also laugh and enjoy yourself, its getting harder to just be happy to be a guy in the world, the vindictiveness is at a all time high as feminazi's and the economy have beaten so much of the generosity of spirit humanity once had, thais lets hope don't loose there make believe keep it playfull attitude, its a life saver.

[jimbo34]

Well,boomers, i don't touch soy milk - its like drinking liquid poo! Thai vegetables? Nah, not many.

 

As for "throwing a rubber fish around" - i take it that's an american thing? Lol.

 

We British enjoy being grumpy. And we do it rather well i think. Mainly because we can also see the humour in it. Indeed there's been several "Grumpy Old Men" series on British tv - one of the funniest things i've seen in years. Its probably available on Youtube if you want to have a look.

 Being grumpy de-stresses the system and is fine therapy, i think.

 

 

Anyway back to the "NZ sirloin steak" episode:

 

I meant to get there early in order to make a fuss in front of all his German clients who are pacing up and down outside at 10.30 when the place opens its doors.

 However, after a late night, i got there at midday.

 

 "Is the boss in"

 

Sullen till clerk: "Eh?"

 "Is the boss in"

 

 "Boss not come"

 

 "Maybe you can help?"

"Eh?"

 

"Ffs. This is the worst piece of meat i've bought anywhere!"

 

"Eh?"

 

"Give this to your boss and tell him to try to eat it"

 

"What you want i do?"

 

"Tell boss to shove it up his arse and he can forget about me coming here again"

"Up to you"

 

 

 I strut out and go down the road to a rival, in the Andamon Suite complex. They're still using a paper and pen to make a receipt rather than barcodes. I buy eggs (55 baht) and a pack of cigarettes (66 Baht). She uses the pen and paper, then a calculator to add the 2 figures.

 Uses the calculator again when i hand over 140 baht !

 Sheesh.

[Rollo]

Thanks Jim for providing a little chuckle in the morning while dealing in this downboundtrain that we still call Italy.....

[boomdraw]

a rubber fish means that the meat was tough,like leather or rubber... , atleast the fish didn't have nail clippings in it, seeing thai hostess greeter girls on the sidewalks trimming there nails or picking there noses over the fish on ice by the curb is always appealing, even though as an employer yourself of hampsters im sure u atleast resepct that during that girls 50 hour shift that week atleast she physcialy does something once that week