333 replies to this topic

[JustSumGai]

I'm calling for mini rants. Might let you concentrate your (f)ire.

I just love seeing a good rant. Wish Louis Black was a ladyboy lover haha.

[jimbo34]

Ladyboy Timekeeping

 

 Surely the world's worst?

 

 I have a rule now for vistors to The Skylab - 30 minutes late is ok, but 35 is not. The door will be locked and its a long painful walk back down the hill, especially in high heels!

 

 Likewise in the bar: 10.30 p.m. is ok, but 10.45 is not, and they will be sent home. If they don't like it they can fuck off and work elsewhere. So far, no takers for the latter option, so we must be doing something right.

 

 Give a thai an inch, they take a mile. Drives me nuts!

 

 End of mini-rant.

[jonnieb]

Getting old doesn't make me any less likely to rant, Batters. In fact, probably the contrary.
 
Ok, ok, .......so many things to rant about actually. 
The Xmas/New Year ceasefire is over. So lets start with the military junta:
 
I welcomed the coup in May last year, as the politicians were just tying themselves in knots sueing each other backwards and forwards,  doing absolutely nothing for running the country, and becoming more and more blatant with their thieving from the coffers. It was quite ridiculous.
 
 The initial curfews were bloody annoying for a barowner and tourists alike, but something i was certainly prepared to suffer if it meant signalling they meant business and would stand no nonsense from the general population.
 It was certainly a weird sensation returning home at 10.30pm with the streets in total silence. Even the 7/11s were closed.
 
 They started well, especially in Phuket, rounding up long-time crooks, bashing the tuk-tuks, and clearing beach vendors. 
 Aha, i thought, maybe Thailand really is going to clean up its act.
 
 Wrong.
 
 Here we are 8 months later: the crooks are still "awaiting trial" (i.e. out on bail) and carrying on as usual, the tuk-tuks are as bad as ever, and now you can't even rent a sunbed and umbrella on the beach! The jetski mobs were never touched during the entire time and have now probably increased and enlarged their presence on the beaches. The beach vendors swarm along them during the daytime and then infest Soi Bangla at night. So much so that i'm having to shoo them away, especially during our showtimes. 
 
 The Immigration scams are as bad as ever, and now its harder for long-time "tourists" to do their visa runs.
 
 I've never seen so many freelance prostitutes on Soi Bangla as there are now. There are wayy more thais on the street than tourists. Its ridiculous. Still flapping their "Ping Pong Show" laminates in everyone's face. And still selling all their tatty wares, or offering "massage".
 The russian go-gos were untouched. I mean how the fack are they allowed to operate?
 
 The only thing missing are the slow loris and iguana picture touts - so protect the animals, but to hell with the tourists then?
 
 The genuine cops that were actually making a difference, the so-called Crimebusters, have been "moved" to Nakhon-fuckin-Nowhere.
 
 The cost of taking a piss has now risen to 10Bt, except in that nasty little place just down from C & Ds, where its still run by that lazy fat-arse that never ever cleans the place for all our 5 Bts.
 
 The general has now elected himself as PM and shows no sign of returning the country to democracy. Thus leaving local administration back in the hands of his corrupt minions.
 
 Thailand shot itself in the foot by encouraging russian and chinese tourists who behave badly and contribute zilch to the local economy. The russians are less evident than last year because the roubel has dropped through the floor, and the chinese are hell-bent only on taking selfies. Now with those fuckn annoying "selfie-sticks" they all wave in the air. They're all gazing upwards now instead of looking where they're going. I've lost count of the number i've clipped with my wing mirrors as they amble along in the middle of the road, or barged out of my way in the supermarket or street. Its a daily occurrence and i get a certain pleasure out of inflicting some pain on the Gormless Goblins. 
 
 The thais are getting more and more desperate, as the numbers of "quality" tourists decline, and the scams are becoming increasingly blatant as a direct result.
 
 Even the young Bogans with pockets full of cash and no brains are getting pissed off. 
 
 Thailand really needs to get its act together or its economy is going to spiral downhill, with tourism taking the first hit.
 
 
 On the bright side  .........
  ummm, i'm struggling a bit here......
 
 well, i suppose the fact that we've been able to renew our bar lease without any rent increase is a good start. Only because the greedy landlord now has so many empty premises even she is beginning to get worried. 
 And the tourists are seeking out the genuine places for entertainment that aren't going to rip them off. So we're getting a full house at every showtime, with some staying on afterwards and even returning for a revisit.
 Tuk-tuks are less likely to hit you with a hammer if you argue about their price.
 The cost of fuel globally is falling.
 Air Asia and Malaysia Air might actually take a bit of care about the maintenance of their aircraft now, though they'll have to do that outside Thailand. Thailand doesn't do "maintenance".
 
 I could go on, but i'll save some for another day.

I salute you for fessing up to how naive you were in your initial enthusiasm and support of Uncle Prayuth's overthrow of Thailand's democratically elected government. Coming from a Brit, I was totally floored how someone could think this would somehow improve the admittedly dicey situation on the ground at the time. As some predicted, the "Uncle" is just another in a long line of tin-pot military strongmen who have taken a fancy to imposing their will on the people of Thailand. About the only thing he has succeeded in doing is forcing grade school children to daily recite the praises of the Uncle and his narrow view of Thainess (North Korea anyone?). Every other policy, from motocycle taxi fares to lottery tickets to rice-farm policy has come up a cropper. The Thai military is incompetent in managing itself and protecting the country...what would give anyone the idea they could run a country?

[jimbo34]

Back to tranquility!

 

 Christ there's some loons on that other forum!

 One's even pming me about some Pattaya girl who ditched him, in London I think. Ffs, he doesn't even name the girl, and its 20 years since i lived in London. Another bloke's paranoid about having himself filmed banging a LB prostitute......I'm wondering where these nutters grew up? We need forum psychiatrists these days! 

 Makes running a bar seem like a normal lifestyle! 

[tanewi]

A few things that pissed me off during my Dec/Jan15 trip to Patong were:

 

1.  The incredible annulus of people 5 deep around the two guys break dancing.  Which took up the whole width of Bangla road.  Hard to navigate through the crowd.  Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with two men gryating and spinning around - I like to do that in my loom, but not with a packed crowd.

 

2.  Not quite a annulus, but definitional close was the number of Russians that congregated just outside the 7-11 when it started raining.  They were also drinking takeaway beer.  You had to barge both in and out of the 7-11 to get your valued supplies.  FFS it is only rain, even though they have steely faces, they won't rust.

 

3.  Struggled to maintain the usual supply of Kemagra, tried a herbal version - not sure if it was effective, as likely to have reside of previous week's Kemegra in blood stream.  Seems like there was some sort of shortage - 5 chemists "ho have".

 

4.  Beach was okay, usually rubbish been sold.  Hats, sunglasses, ice creams, globes, kites, drinks - but no kebabs. I bought an beach umbrella - here is a small business opportunity "a hole borer".  Whilst I am apt at this occupation, I would rather leave it to someone else.  I burrowed a small hole, only to find a small gust of wind took my umbrella down the beach and deposited it in the lap of a Russian couple.  30 mins later of drilling/boring a hole of the right depth was made that kept the umbrella intact.  I would have paid decent money to a "borer of note".

 

5.  I only had one "issue with the tuk tuk/taxi mafia".  I take great joy in walking away from the tuk tuks that quote 300 THB for a short trip to "soi bowling".  I love to hear there squeals of "ok ok 250THB" as I walk away, even got to 200 - I just kept walking.  One motor bike taxi said 100, i said 80 - he said ok.  When we got to my Hotel i gave him 100 THB and waited for my change "i change my mind - 100 THB"  - so much for losing face. 

 

6. Jimbo's crew did put on a great service and besides the usual bar room and post events, I did go up up up and watch Ning Nong and the girls, and that tall guy who wears makeup and dances in Soi Crocidille play volleyball (somewhere).  It was a good afternoon's entertainment.

 

[jimbo34]

Good rant tanewi. Especially like the "annulus" (whatever that is) bit about the breakdancers. Tonight there was a similar "crowd" gathered around that twat "magician" dressed as a cowboy. Blocks up the entire street with his rubbish show. But its "free", so all the bozos swaggering down the street with their tattoos, fat slags, and 7/11 grog get to see something for nothing.

[tanewi]

Good rant tanewi. Especially like the "annulus" (whatever that is) bit about the breakdancers. Tonight there was a similar "crowd" gathered around that twat "magician" dressed as a cowboy. Blocks up the entire street with his rubbish show. But its "free", so all the bozos swaggering down the street with their tattoos, fat slags, and 7/11 grog get to see something for nothing.

 

Thanks Jiimbo - 

 

In mathematics, an annulus (the Latin word for "little ring", with plural annuli) is a ring-shaped object especially a region bounded by two concentric circles. The area of an annulus is the difference in the areas of the larger circle of radius R and the smaller one of radius r:

[tanewi]

 anus.jpg   20.64KB   0 downloads

 

The white area in the middle of the circles represents the area that the two boys are spinning around on the floor.  The green area is an annulus, and represents the gormless souls watching the two break dancers. The width of the annulus also represents the width of Bangla Road.

 

Thus it is true to say "an annulus of Russians watched the break dancing in Bangla Road" - especially given that.... "Annulus" is a misspelling of the Latin "anulus" (a little ring), the diminutive of the Latin "anus".    

 

Back to my point about the 30 minutes it took me to bore an 8 inch hole into the sand to keep my umbrella safe.  Potentially your girls could bore out a 8 inch hole in a lot less time than it took me - Pat would make a killing.

 

[tanewi]

Good rant tanewi. Especially like the "annulus" (whatever that is) bit about the breakdancers. Tonight there was a similar "crowd" gathered around that twat "magician" dressed as a cowboy. Blocks up the entire street with his rubbish show. But its "free", so all the bozos swaggering down the street with their tattoos, fat slags, and 7/11 grog get to see something for nothing.

 

Jimbo - you often find a twat close to an annulus - on average 50% of the time.

 

Whilst I am notional Australian, I was born in England - as Jimbo has pointed out many times - we English have a twisted sense of humour.

[tanewi]

I do have two more rants, with Jimbo's implied permission.

 

1.  Down the McDonald's end of Bangla, I noticed that the laminated pussy show placarded Thai gnomes, have finally figured out that if they form a congo line across Bangla, pedistrians can not dodge them.  As they are can be dodged when randomly spaced out.  However, they did not think that the tourists (western) would just plough through them with little or no regard for the obstruction.  Kinda like human ten pin bowling, probably a better show than the pussy ping pong shows that they are advertising.

 

FFS in a civilised world they would be om by some council ranger or the like.  Or even a tourist body would suggest "not a good idea".  Regardless, if you have 10 minutes and fancy a burger, why not watch some "gnome bowling"?

 

2.  There was a new bar - flash, like a rat with a gold tooth near and on the same side of Bangla as McDonalds.  Probably 15-20 Anglo Saxons (Aussie Brits) were dressed in corporate uniforms and were handing out flyers and spruiking trade.  I said, "i will take your flyer, if you show me your work permit".  I left empty handed ( as expected).

 

Bangla is a great place for fun. mongering and drinking - it is a shocking cess pool however when you want to move from bar A* to bar B*.

 

* Cocktails and Dreams - is either A or B, up to you.

[jimbo34]

Thursday night 9.30pm

 

Why are the silly little cunts letting off fireworks tonight?

Ffs, its not Chinese New Year yet.

 

I'm off to the bar now - just hope i don't get blown up! Not in the best of moods with all this din going on, so they'd better be in on time!     

[thailover57]

Sense another rant on the way - can't wait!