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What do you buy your ladyboy for Christmas?
You got the time off work, your family have bought the idea that you are going on yet another scuba holiday (and no longer question why you never bring back any scuba diving pics despite living in the age of the smart phone), and you've saved up loads of spending money - you're gonna need it! However, you've decided you still need to buy the ladyboy love of your life a Christmas gift.. What should you get her?
Perfume
Perfume is perfect, you don't even need to plan ahead, you can just pop into duty free at the airport. Not only will you get it at a bargain price but it'll also help kill time while waiting to board your flight. It's a total win-win situation.
Not really. Not only is perfume kind of expensive at airports these days (you'll get better deals buying online - of better yet, buying fake perfume at a Thai market), but you've also got to make sure you get the right brand. And anyway, you always buy her perfume at the airport and she takes it for granted now. This simply won't count as a Christmas gift.
Clothing
Ladyboys love fashion and clothes. The latest skinny jeans, a dress with slutty slits revealing a little too much flesh, heels that are so high they come with air traffic warning lights.. Yeah, you'll get her a dress or a pair of heels, or maybe both, yeah both! You're smart, you'll work out her size - tall and skinny, with a bit of extra baggage space..
If you understand ladyboy fashion then you are either a prize winning psycho-analyst or a secret crossdresser (my guess would be both). Whatever you get is likely to be wrong and insulting, and a waste of time and money. Most of her dresser cost 300 baht from the market and now you've blown 3,000 baht on an outfit which will get moth eaten in her wardrobe.
Jewelry
You know Thai's love jewelry, especially gold. In fact, your ladyboy girlfriend has been hinting at you to buy her a gold necklace for months. OK, this is it, you're going to get her an expensive, solid gold necklace, which she'll love and wear for years to come. And every time she looks at that piece of shiny jewelry she's going to remember how much you love her..
I'm joking of course. Obviously that isn't going to happen. Yes, she'll love it, you were right about Thai's loving gold. But she's only going to wear it for the duration of your holiday. As soon as you leave (maybe before if she has balls - which of course she does), she'll take it to the pawnshop to get it valued. When she cashes it in for night of Thai whisky and young rentboys simply depends on how much money you are sending her each month.
Surgery
Now here's something she'll love, appreciate, and remember you by - and something she can't trade in for drugs, alcohol, and young male companionship. You'll buy her a pair of boobs or some hip injections..
Newbie error. The last thing you want to do is start buying her surgery. Thai ladyboys love surgery, and once they start injecting things here, and snipping things off there, it becomes obsession, and an expensive one at that. It will be a downward spiral as she overdoes it and gets a huge chin, point cheeks, and hips which leave her having to use the deliver entrance to most stores. And she'll be expecting you to pay for it all. What have you done..
Money
You give up. Whatever you buy here it'll be wrong. How can you win, you'll just give her money, you know she likes money. She loves money. Money number one.
Sure you can give her money for Christmas, she'll say thanks and give you a kiss on the cheek. You'll feel warm inside, like a cool uncle who just bought his little niece a gift she actually likes. But this is extra money, it doesn't count towards her monthly sponsorship money, nor does it count towards the buffalo money she's about to hit you up for, or the money to pay for her grandmas trip to hospital. This is Christmas money, it's separate from all the other money you're going to need to give her on this trip.. But hey, you got her something she really wanted for Christmas.. Wait a minute. Buddhists don't celebrate Christmas.. What the hell were you thinking?
Written by: Moo Yung
For the dating ladyboys in Thailand we recommend joining Thai Friendly which has hundreds of Thai ladyboys listed.
For dating ladyboys globally we recommend joining My Ladyboy Date which has attractive ladyboys in many Asian and Western countries.- Jul 26 2017 04:29 AM
- by Moo Yung
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What kind of ladyboy lover are you?
Bankers, bakers, even candlestick makers, the admirers of the third sex can be traced to almost every country and profession. However, while no one likes to be cast as a stereotype, it's true that there are certain types of ladyboy lover, and most tranny chasing chaps you meet will fall into one of six categories:
The Hopeless Romantic
You can never question the hopeless romantic's dedication to ladyboy loving. No one will walk more tall and proud, hand in hand with their latest ladyboy girlfriend than these sweet hearted gents. Rarely seen single, they will usually be totally head-over-heels in love with their current holiday romance or long distance relationship, keen to tell you how 'this is the one'. However, drama is never far behind and watching their relationship unfold can best be compared to witnessing a rather horrific car crash in slow-motion.
Hopeless romantics love to socialize but will rarely be seen without their current 'tirak' hanging off their arm. Find them alone and there is sure to be a sad, broken hearted tale to be told. If they haven't already spotted you, make for the exit, fast.
The Size Queen
Size queens are on a mission to discover the next big 'thing.' They'll gladly show you their photo collection of bed mates and recent conquests, and while it may look like they have a very wide and varied taste in the third sex, their past partners will all have one thing in common, a freakishly large slab of meet dangling between their thighs.
Size queens are pack animals and rely heavily on a network of fellow phallus fanatics to help them seek out the latest hung heshe. They tend not to be particularly camp or effeminate but they are very open about their admiration for the larger ladyboy and not afraid to show their excitement over a lead on a new three legged feline in town.
The 'Straight'
Saddle up at a ladyboy bar next to a 'straight' tranny chaser and you'll find yourself chatting about football, sports cars, and gogo girls. The macho tone of the conversation will have you questioning whether the guy next to you is actually in the right part of town, although your concerns soon diminish as the he slaps a busty ladyboy on the butt and then tells you how her rogered the rump off her an hour ago.
Though a very social animal, 'straights' like to distance themselves sexually from the size queens and kinksters, living with a sense of denial, seeing themselves merely as a tourist in the world of sword swallowing and bottoming. More often than not they have been married and divorced and are living the life of a bachelor (read: midlife crisis,). They'll be quick to tell you about a recent female conquest soon after being recognised by a passing 6 foot ladyboy.
The Strong Silent Type
"What happened to Gary Cooper? The strong silent type." The Gary Coopers of the ladyboy scene keep their cards very close to their chest. It's hard to really work out what they are all about, but one thing's for sure, almost every ladyboy in town knows them and has spent the night in their secret lair.
A rather reclusive breed, the strong silent type can be spotted all over town but rarely mingling with the minions. They are cool, calm, and have a never-ending thirst for ladyboy flesh. If it wasn't for their enormous online collection of ladyboy photos you would know almost nothing about them, at all.
The Kinkster
Don't hang around a kinkster if you're squeamish or not extremely comfortable with your sexuality. Kinksters don't mess about, when they find that special daring ladyboy they get down and dirty, and they are always keen to share all the gory details with you over a light lunch the following afternoon.
Kinksters are adventurous, no doubt about it, with a passion for sexual exploration, not afraid to delve either side of the gender lines. They often reach legendary status for their exploits, which become folklore within ladyboy loving circles.
The Trannyspotter
Even wondered where those 708 photos from last night's party came from, and how they managed to all be online by 11am? Thank the trannyspotter.RarelyNever seen without their trusty DSLR, trannyspotters are likely to appear at every ladyboy event and shemale related social occasion (especially when there is free food to be found).
However, don't be fooled by their nerdy exterior and reluctance to tell you about their sexual activity. While more often than not the trannyspotter is a very kind hearted creature, you can almost be certain they have a secret fetish for femboys, large feet, and/or unwashed undies. Get one drunk and they'll spill the beans, telling you tales that can even get the kinksters cheeks blushing with envy.
So, what kind of ladyboy lover are you?
Written by: Moo Yung- Apr 04 2014 07:55 PM
- by Moo Yung
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LoS in Translation or Ladyboys – What Do They M...
On noticing your distress, they may deign to talk to you, but only on their terms, and only in that curious tongue known as Thaiglish, a mixture of Thai and (some kind of) English. Fear not, dear reader, for this handy guide is here to help you.*
Just for the sake of clarity, I’ll use a simple phonetic (faw-NE-tik) style to help you with the pronunciation. You probably won’t see any of the guide in writing, but you will hear it.
OK. Where to begin? The basics of LB Thai would seem as good a place as any.
Loom: The scene of the crime, as it were. “We go you loom or sho’t time loom?”
Teelak: Darling, or boyfriend. An honorific bestowed only upon the most distinguished and respected of foreign gentlemen. Or someone who has just bought a ladydrink.
She go out: She’s already been barfined, dummy – get here sooner next time!
Bak wan: literally, ‘sweet mouth’; said of you when you tell them how beautiful they are. Basically, you know you’re talking shit, they know you’re talking shit. But now you know that they know that you’re talking shit. But it’s meant in a nice way, so that’s all right.
Bak wan, kon pee-ow: literally, ‘sweet mouth, sour ass’; said of you when you tell them how beautiful they are. Basically, you know you’re talking shit, they know you’re…well, you get the picture. But it’s NOT meant in a nice way. It means you are two-faced. White man speak with forked tongue…
Hee-foooo: Ladyboys will simply adore you when you point to their crotch and say VERY loudly “OO-EE, you hee-FOOOO!” In much the same way that we all enjoy complete strangers pointing out that we have a visible erection in public... For that’s what hee-foooo means: a hard on.
Oo-EE!: An exclamation of surprise, shock, or excitement. A literal translation into English might run along the lines of ‘WTF!’ For instance, the correct response when a ladyboy playfully punches you in the arm with all the force of a young Mike Tyson delivering a knock-out punch is not ‘Jesus Fucking H Christ - that HURT, dumbass!’ but the rather more neutral, and therefore less confrontational ‘Oo-EE!’ It’s used…well, everywhere, really. And you will probably find yourself using it when you get back home, much to the consternation of your friends, who will probably think you are having a stroke. You may be THINKING of having a stroke, but that ladyboy’s cock is now several thousand miles away. Oo-EE, indeed.
Wow pin yaaang: There’s Thaiglish, there’s barglish, there’s ladyboy barglish. And then there’s Isaan. Many ladyboys come from Isaan, to which you must reply ‘A-ha! I think before you come from Isaan – most beautiful lady come from Isaan.’ To which they will reply ‘Bak wan.’ Your comeback could be ‘No pompem,’ or ‘My pen lie,’ both of which mean ‘No problem.’ But if you REALLY want to impress the lady(boy) from Isaan, you must use the Isaan form, ‘Wow pin yaaang.’ Ah, how they will love you when they think you can understand everything they say…and it won’t push the price up by more than 50%. No, sir.
I lub you too mutt:‘I love you too much,’ or, in literal translation, ‘I need more money for shoes.’
A-loy mak-mak!: Tasty – very tasty! Especially to be said of a ladyboy’s ass or new boobs. You cannot go wrong in complimenting a ladyboy on her ass or boobs. Unless she doesn’t like them, of course. There’s only one way to find out, tiger…
You mow mak-mak: You are very drunk. Perhaps now you will barfine me, fall asleep, be awakened by my unashamedly fabricated tales of your startling sexual prowess, then pay me more for watching TV until the wee small hours and scoffing the entire contents of the minibar.
You like smoke?: “Do you want to suck my cock?” Be careful when you get back home, and your friend asks if you want to pop outside for a quick ciggie, for if he says ‘Smoke?’ and you blush, then the game may be up.
My flend have pompem, mutt go: “My friend has a problem, and I have to go and help her.” Usually, this is in response to the pre-arranged phone call from the Thai boyfriend and literally means ‘I’m bored, and this long-time barfine just became a short-time barfine. As compensation, the original price still stands, but there will be no extra charge.’ Lucky old you, eh?
You no too mutt:‘You know too much,’ or, in literal translation, ‘You’ve been reading Pattayanista’s guide to ladyboy language, haven’t you?’ Usually said with an air of exasperation after you have used ‘hee-foooo’ at just the wrong time. You swine.
This short guide is by no means all-encompassing, but should serve as a useful tool in helping you to negotiate the minefield of miscommunication out there in LB barland. Good luck, hansum maaaan!
*(Note: the author cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies contained herein, nor for any arguments, slaps, stabs, or near-death experiences caused by unsupervised use of the above guide.)
Written by: pattayanista- Apr 04 2014 07:58 PM
- by pattayanista
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5 fine reasons to date that ladyboy!
A relationship with a ladyboy is not much different from dating a genetic girl (cynicism towards bar girls put to one side). Show them love and affection and they'll send it back in kind. Support who they are and their goals, ambitions, and passions in life, and they'll be your muse. In many ways a ladyboy or transsexual is likely to have experienced a fair amount of rejection, ridicule, and lack of acceptance during her life, and if you give her a genuine, care-filled relationship she is likely to reward you with all the love and affection you can handle.
She's out of your league
Ever wanted to date a supermodel? Of course you have. Your old girlfriend may have looked like an English Bulldog chewing on a wasp but your new ladyboy girlfriend will give any catwalk model and run for her money. Fact, the best looking women in Thailand are ladyboys (in fact make that the world). Just be prepared to have lots of jealous guys and girls starring at you as you hold hands through the busy mall. You may be paranoid worried everyone is looking at her thinking 'dude looks like a lady,' but the truth is they are whispering under their breath 'how the hell did that guy land her!'
You so horny?
It's a fact, guys are way more horny than girls. It's also a fact, many ladyboys still have the sexual drive and appetite of a pubescent boy discovering his dad's secret collection of Razzle and Swank magazines for the first time. Your old girlfriend may have told you she has a headache, but your new ladyboy girlfriend will leave you happy and exhausted night after night.. And then wake you up for more of the same.
Let's get nasty
It may have taken you 18 month to ask your last girlfriend if you could introduce a set of handcuffs into your weekly Wednesday night love-making session (only to be called a freak), but when you suggest it to your new ladyboy girlfriend she pulls out her secret bag of whips, chains and ball gags. Sexual experimentation really is one of the true joys in life.
Best of both worlds
Ladyboys really are the best of both words, and not just in the bedroom. Need a motherly touch after a bad day at work? Your new ladyboy girlfriend will pamper you and tell you how special you are. Getting bullied by a neighbour? You're new ladyboy girlfriend will remove a stiletto, take it in hand, and threaten to remove his left testicle in one fell swoop.
That time of the month
Damn, has it really been 28 days already? When a ladyboy tells you it's 'that time of the month' she usually means it's pay day and she wants to go out, party long into the night and return home for a mind blowing love-making session. No more monthly mood swings, no more bloody tampons, and no more pregnancy scares!
Forget what you think you know about dating a ladyboy and give it a go. You can either be the guy who is too afraid to publically walk hand in hand with a sweet, stunning ladyboy, worried what everyone else will think, OR, you can be the happiest man in the world, so content and proud of the perfect woman on his arm, he feels sorry for those who are missing out.
VISIT OUR LADYBOY DATING GUIDE FOR MORE INFO
Written by: Moo Yung- Aug 06 2014 11:08 PM
- by Moo Yung
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5 famous people who lust after ladyboys
They may not have comfortably come out of the closet, but the evidence all points to a lusting for ladyboys. Here are 5 famous folk who got caught delving into the glorious world of ladyboys, transsexuals, and transvestites:
Lil Wayne
The tat covered rapper may have a memorable voice, but this rugged rogue also has a very unforgetable past. Lil Wayne spent a fair bit of time incarcerated but it looks like his soap and shower antics continue long after his release, with more than one shemale confessing to a carnivorous encounter with the pop star.
Unfortunately girls, Lil Wayne is not a keeper. When transsexual pin-up Sidney Starr was interviewed about her night with the raspy rapper she made it clear the required levels of tranny wooing were lacking, by claiming "It wasn't close, he really just hit it and quit it."
Gavin Rossdale
The lead singer of British band Bush and husband to the rock goddess Gwen Stefani managed to keep his ladyboy loving past a secret for some time. However, Gavin's skeletons were finally revealed when Peter Robinson, aka former teen drag artist known as 'Marilyn,' admitted to their 5 year relationship.
He may be admired as a phallic symbol up on the rock stage, but you have to have some set of stones to maintain a 5 year relationship with a teenage transvestite. Fair play.
Ronaldo (the fat one)
At one point Ronaldo was without doubt the greatest footballer in the world. Young, rich, famous, and dodgy barnet aside, he could have had almost any girl on the planet. Instead he opted to spend the night with 3 of Rio's finest transgenered street hookers. Unfortunately for the buck-toothed Brazilian he was caught in the act by a passing patrol car.
When question back at the cop shop he told the officers he was merely looking to 'amuse himself'. Ronaldo's preferred position was not revealed that night. Whether he is a power forward or prefers to play from the back, still remains a mystery.
Eddie Murphy
During the filming of 'Holy Man' in 1997, Eddie Murphy was caught red handed picking up a transsexual hooker down on the infamous Santa Monica Boulevard. When police questioned him he gave the immortal quote 'I was just giving her a ride home, mr officer.' Though he didn't specify whose home they were heading to.
Anyone who has seen Holy Man (or any of Eddie's movies post-Coming to America), will know full well that this Nutty Professor should be far more ashamed about his choice of film roles than in his selection of bed wrestling partners.
Hugh Grant
He may have had the lovely Liz Hurley as his bird, but Mr Grant couldn't resist the divine tranny charms of Ms Brown. While movie star Grant was put to shame for picking up this transsexual hooker, the Canadian call girl was catapulted into the media spotlight and received more than 15 minutes of fame.
Not only did Divine Brown hit the interview circuit, spilling the beans on her brief encounter with humbled Hugh, but she also became an award winning Canadian pop star, winning a Juno award (whatever that is) and supporting the Backstreet Boys on their 1998 'Unbreakable' tour. Hugh, meanwhile, continues to make bad movies, playing the stereotypical bumbling Brit (albeit, with a not-so-secret craving for ladyboy meat).
Written by: Moo Yung- Apr 04 2014 07:42 PM
- by Moo Yung
