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LoS in Translation or Ladyboys – What Do They Mean When They Say…?
Aug 09 2013 03:00 AM |
pattayanista
in Newbie Advice
funny language Thailand
On noticing your distress, they may deign to talk to you, but only on their terms, and only in that curious tongue known as Thaiglish, a mixture of Thai and (some kind of) English. Fear not, dear reader, for this handy guide is here to help you.*Just for the sake of clarity, I’ll use a simple phonetic (faw-NE-tik) style to help you with the pronunciation. You probably won’t see any of the guide in writing, but you will hear it.
OK. Where to begin? The basics of LB Thai would seem as good a place as any.
Loom: The scene of the crime, as it were. “We go you loom or sho’t time loom?”
Teelak: Darling, or boyfriend. An honorific bestowed only upon the most distinguished and respected of foreign gentlemen. Or someone who has just bought a ladydrink.
She go out: She’s already been barfined, dummy – get here sooner next time!
Bak wan: literally, ‘sweet mouth’; said of you when you tell them how beautiful they are. Basically, you know you’re talking shit, they know you’re talking shit. But now you know that they know that you’re talking shit. But it’s meant in a nice way, so that’s all right.
Bak wan, kon pee-ow: literally, ‘sweet mouth, sour ass’; said of you when you tell them how beautiful they are. Basically, you know you’re talking shit, they know you’re…well, you get the picture. But it’s NOT meant in a nice way. It means you are two-faced. White man speak with forked tongue…
Hee-foooo: Ladyboys will simply adore you when you point to their crotch and say VERY loudly “OO-EE, you hee-FOOOO!” In much the same way that we all enjoy complete strangers pointing out that we have a visible erection in public... For that’s what hee-foooo means: a hard on.
Oo-EE!: An exclamation of surprise, shock, or excitement. A literal translation into English might run along the lines of ‘WTF!’ For instance, the correct response when a ladyboy playfully punches you in the arm with all the force of a young Mike Tyson delivering a knock-out punch is not ‘Jesus Fucking H Christ - that HURT, dumbass!’ but the rather more neutral, and therefore less confrontational ‘Oo-EE!’ It’s used…well, everywhere, really. And you will probably find yourself using it when you get back home, much to the consternation of your friends, who will probably think you are having a stroke. You may be THINKING of having a stroke, but that ladyboy’s cock is now several thousand miles away. Oo-EE, indeed.
Wow pin yaaang: There’s Thaiglish, there’s barglish, there’s ladyboy barglish. And then there’s Isaan. Many ladyboys come from Isaan, to which you must reply ‘A-ha! I think before you come from Isaan – most beautiful lady come from Isaan.’ To which they will reply ‘Bak wan.’ Your comeback could be ‘No pompem,’ or ‘My pen lie,’ both of which mean ‘No problem.’ But if you REALLY want to impress the lady(boy) from Isaan, you must use the Isaan form, ‘Wow pin yaaang.’ Ah, how they will love you when they think you can understand everything they say…and it won’t push the price up by more than 50%. No, sir.
I lub you too mutt:‘I love you too much,’ or, in literal translation, ‘I need more money for shoes.’
A-loy mak-mak!: Tasty – very tasty! Especially to be said of a ladyboy’s ass or new boobs. You cannot go wrong in complimenting a ladyboy on her ass or boobs. Unless she doesn’t like them, of course. There’s only one way to find out, tiger…
You mow mak-mak: You are very drunk. Perhaps now you will barfine me, fall asleep, be awakened by my unashamedly fabricated tales of your startling sexual prowess, then pay me more for watching TV until the wee small hours and scoffing the entire contents of the minibar.
You like smoke?: “Do you want to suck my cock?” Be careful when you get back home, and your friend asks if you want to pop outside for a quick ciggie, for if he says ‘Smoke?’ and you blush, then the game may be up.
My flend have pompem, mutt go: “My friend has a problem, and I have to go and help her.” Usually, this is in response to the pre-arranged phone call from the Thai boyfriend and literally means ‘I’m bored, and this long-time barfine just became a short-time barfine. As compensation, the original price still stands, but there will be no extra charge.’ Lucky old you, eh?
You no too mutt:‘You know too much,’ or, in literal translation, ‘You’ve been reading Pattayanista’s guide to ladyboy language, haven’t you?’ Usually said with an air of exasperation after you have used ‘hee-foooo’ at just the wrong time. You swine.
This short guide is by no means all-encompassing, but should serve as a useful tool in helping you to negotiate the minefield of miscommunication out there in LB barland. Good luck, hansum maaaan!
*(Note: the author cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies contained herein, nor for any arguments, slaps, stabs, or near-death experiences caused by unsupervised use of the above guide.)
Written by: pattayanista
6 Comments
That about sums it up.
Reminds me of a book years ago, I think the title was
Hardship Posting or something's like that, I prefer your version of LB's although for those who have not read the above book(s) I think there were three total (The First one of course is the best) the sampling above is Right on!
Don't forget the bashful 'pom poy nit noy', as you point to the little tummy above your belt, caused by too much hot food and cold beer, and the delightful, self-deprecating 'pom put thai mai dai'= I don't speak Thai!
5 in Thai is Ha
So it literally means Hahahaha or lol