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What do you buy your ladyboy for Christmas?

Dec 01 2016 12:55 AM | Moo Yung in Ladyboy Addicts

dating funny relationships

So Christmas is just around the corner and you're planning a trip to Thailand where you'll spend a week or two in the loving arms of your Thai ladyboy girlfriend.. As you do..

You got the time off work, your family have bought the idea that you are going on yet another scuba holiday (and no longer question why you never bring back any scuba diving pics despite living in the age of the smart phone), and you've saved up loads of spending money - you're gonna need it! However, you've decided you still need to buy the ladyboy love of your life a Christmas gift.. What should you get her?

Perfume

Perfume is perfect, you don't even need to plan ahead, you can just pop into duty free at the airport. Not only will you get it at a bargain price but it'll also help kill time while waiting to board your flight. It's a total win-win situation.

Not really. Not only is perfume kind of expensive at airports these days (you'll get better deals buying online - of better yet, buying fake perfume at a Thai market), but you've also got to make sure you get the right brand. And anyway, you always buy her perfume at the airport and she takes it for granted now. This simply won't count as a Christmas gift.

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Clothing

Ladyboys love fashion and clothes. The latest skinny jeans, a dress with slutty slits revealing a little too much flesh, heels that are so high they come with air traffic warning lights.. Yeah, you'll get her a dress or a pair of heels, or maybe both, yeah both! You're smart, you'll work out her size - tall and skinny, with a bit of extra baggage space..

If you understand ladyboy fashion then you are either a prize winning psycho-analyst or a secret crossdresser (my guess would be both). Whatever you get is likely to be wrong and insulting, and a waste of time and money. Most of her dresser cost 300 baht from the market and now you've blown 3,000 baht on an outfit which will get moth eaten in her wardrobe.

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Jewelry

You know Thai's love jewelry, especially gold. In fact, your ladyboy girlfriend has been hinting at you to buy her a gold necklace for months. OK, this is it, you're going to get her an expensive, solid gold necklace, which she'll love and wear for years to come. And every time she looks at that piece of shiny jewelry she's going to remember how much you love her..

I'm joking of course. Obviously that isn't going to happen. Yes, she'll love it, you were right about Thai's loving gold. But she's only going to wear it for the duration of your holiday. As soon as you leave (maybe before if she has balls - which of course she does), she'll take it to the pawnshop to get it valued. When she cashes it in for night of Thai whisky and young rentboys simply depends on how much money you are sending her each month.

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Surgery

Now here's something she'll love, appreciate, and remember you by - and something she can't trade in for drugs, alcohol, and young male companionship. You'll buy her a pair of boobs or some hip injections..

Newbie error. The last thing you want to do is start buying her surgery. Thai ladyboys love surgery, and once they start injecting things here, and snipping things off there, it becomes obsession, and an expensive one at that. It will be a downward spiral as she overdoes it and gets a huge chin, point cheeks, and hips which leave her having to use the deliver entrance to most stores. And she'll be expecting you to pay for it all. What have you done..

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Money

You give up. Whatever you buy here it'll be wrong. How can you win, you'll just give her money, you know she likes money. She loves money. Money number one.

Sure you can give her money for Christmas, she'll say thanks and give you a kiss on the cheek. You'll feel warm inside, like a cool uncle who just bought his little niece a gift she actually likes. But this is extra money, it doesn't count towards her monthly sponsorship money, nor does it count towards the buffalo money she's about to hit you up for, or the money to pay for her grandmas trip to hospital. This is Christmas money, it's separate from all the other money you're going to need to give her on this trip.. But hey, you got her something she really wanted for Christmas.. Wait a minute. Buddhists don't celebrate Christmas.. What the hell were you thinking?

Written by: Moo Yung
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