At a recent job interview:
What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths?
Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not.
And your strengths?
I'm Batman.
Jokes thread
Started by
Guest_pandemonium_*
, Sep 12 2010 11:50 AM
303 replies to this topic
#26
Guest_pandemonium_*
Guest_pandemonium_*
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Posted 18 October 2010 - 12:56 AM
My sexy Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger.
But just as I had my trousers down and my cock out , she screamed she only wanted to let the spare room out.
But just as I had my trousers down and my cock out , she screamed she only wanted to let the spare room out.
#27
Guest_pandemonium_*
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Posted 18 October 2010 - 12:58 AM
Some fella has just knocked on my window with a beard.
The daft cunt should have used his hand, I might have heard him then!!
The daft cunt should have used his hand, I might have heard him then!!
#28
Guest_pandemonium_*
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Posted 18 October 2010 - 01:00 AM
I think jesus was a pessimist. I mean, he died for all our sins, long before we'd committed any.
So now, when I question whether or not to commit a sin, I think, well I better do it. Otherwise Jesus died for nothing.
So now, when I question whether or not to commit a sin, I think, well I better do it. Otherwise Jesus died for nothing.
#29
Guest_pandemonium_*
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Posted 18 October 2010 - 01:05 AM
I went fishing for Chub the other day.
I caught a fire extinguisher and a door lock.
I caught a fire extinguisher and a door lock.
#30
dixon cox
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Posted 25 October 2010 - 09:56 PM
I'm an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac.
... I stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.
... I stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.
Meum cerebrum nocet
#31
onetruesaxon
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Posted 25 October 2010 - 10:44 PM
pandemonium asked is ladyboy GF how many men have you slept with ? She smiled and proudly answered "Only you darling... all the other BMS kept me awake all night shagging.
#32
onetruesaxon
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Posted 26 October 2010 - 07:48 AM
come back
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#33
onetruesaxon
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Posted 26 October 2010 - 07:52 AM
An Irishman was walking home from the pub late at night, and saw a woman lurking in the shadows.
'Twenty Euros for a good time,' she whispered.
Paddy had never been with a prostitute before, but decided,'What the hell, it's only twenty Euros'.
After the first couple of minutes in the bushes, all of a sudden, a light flashed on them. It was a police officer.
'What's going on here, people?' asked the officer.
'I'm making love to me wife,' the Irishman answered sounding annoyed.
'Oh, I'm so sorry,' said the cop, 'I didn't know.'
'Well, needer did I,' said Paddy, 'til ya shoined dat light in her face!'
'Twenty Euros for a good time,' she whispered.
Paddy had never been with a prostitute before, but decided,'What the hell, it's only twenty Euros'.
After the first couple of minutes in the bushes, all of a sudden, a light flashed on them. It was a police officer.
'What's going on here, people?' asked the officer.
'I'm making love to me wife,' the Irishman answered sounding annoyed.
'Oh, I'm so sorry,' said the cop, 'I didn't know.'
'Well, needer did I,' said Paddy, 'til ya shoined dat light in her face!'
#35
Guest_pandemonium_*
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Posted 04 November 2010 - 06:22 AM
I may have Alzheimers , but at least I don't have Alzheimers .
#36
Guest_pandemonium_*
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Posted 04 November 2010 - 06:23 AM
a Welshman is walking through a field and sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
the Welshman shouts "paid ag yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachu'n y dwr!"
(don't drink the water,it's full of cow shit)
the man shouts back..."i'm English,speak English...I don't understand you!"
the Welshman shouts back..."use both hands...you'll get more in!"
the Welshman shouts "paid ag yfed y dwr mae'r gwartheg yn cachu'n y dwr!"
(don't drink the water,it's full of cow shit)
the man shouts back..."i'm English,speak English...I don't understand you!"
the Welshman shouts back..."use both hands...you'll get more in!"
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