Last for today...
I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.
A Scottish pedophile has raised a dispute with eBay.
He claims that the Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting.
I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.
Jokes thread
Started by
Guest_pandemonium_*
, Sep 12 2010 11:50 AM
303 replies to this topic
#253
petesie
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Posted 06 January 2012 - 07:35 PM
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
#254
soulboy
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Posted 12 January 2012 - 05:51 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Because it was under Anthony Worral Thomson's coat .
Because it was under Anthony Worral Thomson's coat .
Where your friend you ?
#255
petesie
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Posted 12 January 2012 - 12:55 PM
An Irishman applying for a job as a blacksmith was asked if he had any experience shoeing horses...
He said no, but I once told a donkey to fuck off.
He said no, but I once told a donkey to fuck off.
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
#257
petesie
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Posted 13 January 2012 - 06:40 PM
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
#258
petesie
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Posted 17 January 2012 - 10:35 PM
Now on sale at IKEA - LESBIAN beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove...
Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8...
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency...
The lead actor in the local Pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - To be fair the audience did try to warn him.
Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8...
I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency...
The lead actor in the local Pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - To be fair the audience did try to warn him.
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
#259
petesie
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Posted 19 January 2012 - 04:42 PM
IRISH LOVE
Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Come on big boy, whip me, whip me!"
Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.
About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to her doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy, let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her, eventually admits that yes she did.
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims,
"I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen".
Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Come on big boy, whip me, whip me!"
Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.
About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to her doctor.
The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Colleen, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Paddy, let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her, eventually admits that yes she did.
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims,
"I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen".
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
#260
petesie
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Posted 21 January 2012 - 09:56 AM
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
#261
Ivor Biggun
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Posted 21 January 2012 - 12:50 PM
^^^ You have far too much time on your hands
#262
batman4ever
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Posted 21 January 2012 - 06:37 PM
An armed hooded robber bursts into the bank of Scotland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash,on his way out the door with the loot,one brave Scottish costumer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber`s face,so the robber shoot the guy without any hesitations!
He then looks around the bank to see if anybody else have seen his face and gets eyecontact with one of the tellers so he walks over calmy shoots him also..
Everyone is now very scared and is looking down the floor...did anyone else see my face screams the robber..
Theres a few moments of silence,then one Scottish gent ,looking down the floor,raise his hand and says...
I think me wife may have caught a glimpse...
He then looks around the bank to see if anybody else have seen his face and gets eyecontact with one of the tellers so he walks over calmy shoots him also..
Everyone is now very scared and is looking down the floor...did anyone else see my face screams the robber..
Theres a few moments of silence,then one Scottish gent ,looking down the floor,raise his hand and says...
I think me wife may have caught a glimpse...
A ladyboy is a kind of creature...that makes a txt saying...dont you trust me...and send it to 20 people... 
#264
petesie
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Posted 22 January 2012 - 02:06 AM
It's a thread that old Hoff started and now and again there's the odd belter to be found here... 
As they say ...up to you but to be perfectly honest...the odd one makes me smile.
As they say ...up to you but to be perfectly honest...the odd one makes me smile.
"My advice is just thank the god that doesnt exist for the rib he didnt take to create the women thats not a women that he didnt make for the naturaly uncut cock n enjoy it, they sure are fun." - Boomdraw
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