59 replies to this topic

[Drongo]

Having not much of anything constructive to add to this site. I guess there are always jokes! Hope you have not heard them.

 

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class

how many of them are Trump fans. Not really knowing what a Trump

fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids

raise their hands except one boy, Johnny.

 

The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Johnny says, "I'm not a Trump fan."

 

The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Trump fan?"

 

Johnny says, "I'm an Clinton fan."

 

The teacher asks why he's an Clinton fan. The boy says, "Well,

my mom's an Clinton fan and my dad's an Clinton fan, so I'm

an Clinton fan!"

 

The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she

says, "What if you're mom was a moron and you're dad was an

idiot, what would that make you?"

 

Johnny says, "That would make me a Trump fan."

 

[Drongo]

TIMES WHEN THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE:

"What the fuck was that?" --Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" --General
Custer

"Any fucking idiot could understand that." --Albert Einstein

"It does so fucking look like her!" --Pablo Picasso

"How the fuck did you work that out?" --Pythagoras

"You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" --Michelangelo

"I don't suppose it's going to fucking rain?" --Joan of Arc

"Scattered fucking showers my ass!" --Noah

"I need this fucking parade like I need a hole in the head."
--JFK

"Who the fuck is going to know?" --Bill Clinton

[Drongo]

How can you identify the Irishman at a Cock fight?
He's the one who brought the duck.

How can you identify the Italian at the Cock fight?
He's the one who bets on the duck.

How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the Cock fight?
The duck wins.

[Drongo]

Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds
two finches that have died of old age. He picks them up and
places them in a sack. After cleaning the cage he puts the
sack in his wheelbarrow and moves on to the next cage.

When he reaches the primate cage he finds two chimps who have
also died of natural causes. "Waste not, want not," he says
as puts them in the sack with the finches.

Later at feeding time, he flips the dead animals from the
sack, into the lions' cage.

"Bloody hell!" roars the lion. "Not finch and chimps again!"

[Drongo]

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a
misprint.
---Mark Twain

[Drongo]

"Any new venture goes through the following stages:
enthusiasm, complication, disillusionment, search for the
guilty, punishment of the innocent and decoration of those
who did nothing." - Unknown

[Drongo]

"Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful
ancestors." -David Brenner

[Drongo]

Two Ladyboys are in heaven:

 

 One Ladyboy says to another, "how did you die"?

 

 "I froze to death," says the second.

 

 "That's awful" says the first ladyboy. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

 

 "It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second ladyboy.

"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But  eventually, it's

 a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if

 you're sleeping."

 

 "How about you, how did you die?" asked the second ladyboy.

 

 "I had a heart attack," says the first ladyboy. "You see I knew my Farang was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there either.

I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I get

there, I had a massive heart attack and died.

 

The second Ladyboyshakes her head. "What a pity .. if you had only looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive. 

[gringo2401]

A man goes to the doctor complaining "doctor doctor I can't stop singing The Green Green Grass of Home". The doctor replies "ahh yes you have Tom Jones syndrome". "Is it common?" Asks the patient. "It's not unusual" replies the doctor.

[batman4ever]

Why they had to skip Ladyboys in the police-force in Thailand

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[batman4ever]

where`s wally ??

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[guysnightlife]

lol some good laughs here thanks