Thai Ladyboys and Buddhism: a complex relationship
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I like ladyboys, am I Gay? Continued..sex advice relationships
What are the other alternatives? If a ladyboy lover is not gay, but also not straight, does that make him bisexual?
Bisexual refers to someone who is emotionally and/or sexually attracted to both males and females. The problem with this sexuality is that it also relies on a simplistic, binary view of man and woman, and doesn't take into consideration persons who transcend the traditional male and female gender roles. Not only that, but the vast majority of ladyboy lovers I know are attracted to only one of those binary genders, women.
I think it's safe to say that most ladyboy lovers are not attracted to 'men', men, and are primarily attracted to the femininity of ladyboys (albeit still titillated by the exotic fact their feminine women have something unfeminine between their legs). They are aroused by curvy female shapes, soft female features, and more gentle feminine mannerism, and turned off by deep voices, hairy body parts, and strong masculine attitudes.
If you were forced to 'play the game' and put ladyboy lovers into one of the binary sexual orientations, in terms of sexual likes, dislikes, tastes, and attractions, the average male ladyboy lover is likely to have more in common with the average straight/heterosexual male (only attracted by femininity and not attracted to masculinity) than with the average bisexual or gay male (sexually attracted to masculinity).
The outdated view of sexual orientation has 4 binary categories, straight/heterosexual, gay/homosexual, bisexual, and asexual (not sexually attracted to any gender). If ladyboy lovers can't fit neatly into these binary sexualities, then surely we can find a place for them among the more modern, non-binary sexual orientations.
Pansexual, or omnisexual, refers to someone who is attracted to all genders. Many people who consider themselves to be pansexual also refer to themselves as being gender blind, and attracted to people regardless of their sexuality, rather than because of it.
While this sexual orientation dismiss traditional gender identities it doesn't quite describe a ladyboy lover as it encompasses the attraction to both masculinity and femininity, which most labyboy lovers can't relate to.
Gynesexual refers to someone who is attracted to females and the feminine form. Gynesexuals are attracted to people who are feminine regardless of their gender, and unattracted to masculinity.
However, when reading the full definition of gynesexual, it also states that such people are attracted to breast and vaginas, and turned off by male sex organs. This contradicts things slightly as while most ladyboy lovers are primarily attracted to femininity, many are also turned on by the male sex organ.
Skoliosexual refers to someone who is attracted to transgendered people, and people who don't identify with their birth gender.
While this does identity an attraction to transgendered people, this causes some contradictions once again for your average ladyboy lover, who is attracted to transgendered women, but not attracted to transgendered men.
I'm still confused. What am I?
The problem is some people still won’t feel comfortable being labeled by any of these non-binary identities, they sound weird, scary, and alien, and they don't quite sound accurate. And while non-binary sexual orientations are far more considerate and open to people who transcend traditional gender and sexuality, they are still flawed, and will work for some people and not to others.
Ladyboy lovers are no short of labels; admirers, tranny chasers, trans catchers, transfans, tranny hawks, there are lots of terms used. Even though most were born out of insult and slurs, like the terms ladyboy and shemale, they have been tamed by their open use in the transgender community. I've even seen a movement to try to have the word transamory excepted to mean males who are sexual attracted to transgendered women and birth women, and yet it's never really caught on, in fact your average 'straight' person is probably completely unaware of any of the non-binary sexual orientations I've mentioned.
So after failing to find an acceptable sexual orientation for ladyboy lovers, it begs the question, why do we need a label at all?
The truth is, those who are uneducated and close minded will always depend on clear cut sexual labels and the need to distance themselves from those who don’t play by the aged rules of binary sexuality. After all, it's just words and labels that really don't matter, and such labels can cuase more confusion and misinformation than clarity. If you really need to find a label for your own sexual orientation, just pick the one you feel most comfortable with, or make something up. Even if you make something up, it's probably going to be as useful and descriptive as any of the labels mentioned above. And if someone sees you with a ladyboy and ask you 'what you are?', just tell them 'happy.'
Written by: Moo Yung
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