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I like ladyboys, am I Gay? Continued..

sex advice relationships

There’s a reason why shemale and ladyboy porn is marketed towards ‘straight’ males.
In the first half of this two part article I shared my beliefs on sexuality and gender as a social construction, and just how outdate the simplistic view society has with regards to gender. Through showing just how absurd and complex the idea of binary sexuality and gender is, particularly with regards to transsexuals and there lovers, I think it went some way to proving that it's incorrect to label ladyboy lovers as being gay. And yet, at the same time I showed that it's almost just as difficult to refer to such people as being straight/heterosexual.

Bisexual

What are the other alternatives? If a ladyboy lover is not gay, but also not straight, does that make him bisexual?

Bisexual refers to someone who is emotionally and/or sexually attracted to both males and females. The problem with this sexuality is that it also relies on a simplistic, binary view of man and woman, and doesn't take into consideration persons who transcend the traditional male and female gender roles. Not only that, but the vast majority of ladyboy lovers I know are attracted to only one of those binary genders, women.

I think it's safe to say that most ladyboy lovers are not attracted to 'men', men, and are primarily attracted to the femininity of ladyboys (albeit still titillated by the exotic fact their feminine women have something unfeminine between their legs). They are aroused by curvy female shapes, soft female features, and more gentle feminine mannerism, and turned off by deep voices, hairy body parts, and strong masculine attitudes.

If you were forced to 'play the game' and put ladyboy lovers into one of the binary sexual orientations, in terms of sexual likes, dislikes, tastes, and attractions, the average male ladyboy lover is likely to have more in common with the average straight/heterosexual male (only attracted by femininity and not attracted to masculinity) than with the average bisexual or gay male (sexually attracted to masculinity).

The outdated view of sexual orientation has 4 binary categories, straight/heterosexual, gay/homosexual, bisexual, and asexual (not sexually attracted to any gender). If ladyboy lovers can't fit neatly into these binary sexualities, then surely we can find a place for them among the more modern, non-binary sexual orientations.

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Panssexual

Pansexual, or omnisexual, refers to someone who is attracted to all genders. Many people who consider themselves to be pansexual also refer to themselves as being gender blind, and attracted to people regardless of their sexuality, rather than because of it.

While this sexual orientation dismiss traditional gender identities it doesn't quite describe a ladyboy lover as it encompasses the attraction to both masculinity and femininity, which most labyboy lovers can't relate to.

Gynesexual

Gynesexual refers to someone who is attracted to females and the feminine form. Gynesexuals are attracted to people who are feminine regardless of their gender, and unattracted to masculinity.

However, when reading the full definition of gynesexual, it also states that such people are attracted to breast and vaginas, and turned off by male sex organs. This contradicts things slightly as while most ladyboy lovers are primarily attracted to femininity, many are also turned on by the male sex organ.

Skoliosexual

Skoliosexual refers to someone who is attracted to transgendered people, and people who don't identify with their birth gender.
While this does identity an attraction to transgendered people, this causes some contradictions once again for your average ladyboy lover, who is attracted to transgendered women, but not attracted to transgendered men.

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I'm still confused. What am I?

The problem is some people still won’t feel comfortable being labeled by any of these non-binary identities, they sound weird, scary, and alien, and they don't quite sound accurate. And while non-binary sexual orientations are far more considerate and open to people who transcend traditional gender and sexuality, they are still flawed, and will work for some people and not to others.

Ladyboy lovers are no short of labels; admirers, tranny chasers, trans catchers, transfans, tranny hawks, there are lots of terms used. Even though most were born out of insult and slurs, like the terms ladyboy and shemale, they have been tamed by their open use in the transgender community. I've even seen a movement to try to have the word transamory excepted to mean males who are sexual attracted to transgendered women and birth women, and yet it's never really caught on, in fact your average 'straight' person is probably completely unaware of any of the non-binary sexual orientations I've mentioned.

So after failing to find an acceptable sexual orientation for ladyboy lovers, it begs the question, why do we need a label at all?
The truth is, those who are uneducated and close minded will always depend on clear cut sexual labels and the need to distance themselves from those who don’t play by the aged rules of binary sexuality. After all, it's just words and labels that really don't matter, and such labels can cuase more confusion and misinformation than clarity. If you really need to find a label for your own sexual orientation, just pick the one you feel most comfortable with, or make something up. Even if you make something up, it's probably going to be as useful and descriptive as any of the labels mentioned above. And if someone sees you with a ladyboy and ask you 'what you are?', just tell them 'happy.'


Written by: Moo Yung

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1 Comments

Mr. Moo Yung. There are times when confusion reigns supreme. Not sure if your version covers all aspects as I am nowhere near being a Rhodes Scholar. So at the risk of some derision, I mention my own personality and desires with a view to seeking a 'label'.

Firstly let me explain, I am a womanizer. Always was, always will be. Love the so called weaker sex.

I have never been interested in homosexuals or homosexuality. As a matter of fact to me gay people were a source of ridicule with my mates over a beer. Real schoolboy stuff back then. . The thought of any consummation behind closed doors was, for all intents and purposes, disgusting to my way of thinking. 

One day, a few years back, I boarded a flight for my first look at Thailand. As per helpful instructions from my friends (back home), I took a taxi to Pattaya to savour the offerings.

In the first weeks I enjoyed the smorgasbord of lovelies, day and night. A proper glutton I was.

I also had an inquisitive mind. At this point I just wondered about ladyboys. I passed so many in the streets. This intrigue began when I noticed just how lovely most were. One defining day as I was walking along Soi Bukhoew, I was confronted by a very beautiful person who enquired whether she could go with me. I recognized her as being a ladyboy and could not get over how her figure or sweet face attracted me. I am not one to make rash decisions, but this time I did with an OK. To this day I am not sure how I managed that.

Anyway, I labor. So to cut a long story short, a good time was had by all. A magnificent eye opener to that which I had never sampled. Details are unnecessary. 

Now, the point.... Since that first time, I have enjoyed many Thai ladyboys and of course, women. A leopard didn't change his spots,  lol..

Further to this, and this is where the confusion lies, when I return home to my country after each Thailand sojourn, I have noticed that I have not changed towards disliking homosexuality and still love ladies of all descriptions. If I was ever propositioned by a local tranny, or shemale, I would swiftly march in the opposite direction. Cannot emphasize enough how indifferent I feel toward them. But, and here's the rub,  each time I revisit Thailand I become the usual lover of both ladyboy and lady genders. Love equally each physically and mentally. Sometimes I answer my own feelings with knowing that those I associate with in Thailand, are Thai. This is very important for me as I cannot even think fondly of an European or thereabouts nationality ladyboy as being desirable.

Well, there you have it. Common sense tells me I am not alone with being and thinking this way. However, if there is this 'label' for persons with the same mindset as myself, I would like to know just what banner I come under.

Thankyou for reading.