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Moving into a relationship


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#421 Surin Nix

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 08:43 PM

Great post Mac. That was about the most ambitious day-trip i've heard of in awhile. Do you ever see the "Phillipine Rabbits" - old red school-busses which serve as public bus service? They used to be prolific on Luzon, and I enjoyed the next-to-nothing fares as I traveled to some out of the way places. I thought those were pretty ramshackle, but compared to your conveyance, the Rabbits were almost Mercedes-like in their ride!

Nice new Avatar. Interestingly, I've always imagined you looking like an American Bald Eagle.

....and i am here to report, that, having met him, Kliome looks exactly like his avatar! (actual photo).

Now, Sev7en.....I'm having a hard time imagining....

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#422 Macman

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 09:36 PM

I've never seen the red ones, Nix, but we have what they call "jitneys" here, which remind me of the small New York school buses (we have a few different sizes back home). They are painted in all kinds of crazy multi-colored designs. The big difference between the jitneys and the school buses home is that we seldom have people piled on top and hanging off the sides and back of the ones in NY. :lol: They also have some larger ones, pretty similar to a regular school bus, that travel between cities, also packed.

Nah, not bald yet, but sure getting there. What used to be a part in my hair has turned into a chasm.

Macman
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#423 thailover57

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 09:52 PM

It's a great read Mac. I'm not very good with TR's and such. You have a way of bringing the experience to reality for us. Keep up the good work and continued enjoyment of your choice.
Old, cantankerous, and sorry if I piss you off - well, not really. Just enjoy!

#424 Macman

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 08:00 AM

Thanks again for the kind words, TL57.

My social life is taking a bit of an upswing. This morning, during our round of golf, one of my playing partners told me that his son, whom I never met, would be waiting for us at the clubhouse. (He's also a member.) He said that he (his son) was going to invite me to his home for dinner. He added, "You can bring Angel." I'm glad he said that because I was going to face a big moral dilemma if he didn't. It would be one thing if we were going out to dinner "with the guys", but an invite to the home of a married man should most definitely include my partner. I realize that it is a different situation because of the fact that she's transgendered, and that it might offend some people, but I think that I would have had to decline the invitation if she were not included. Actually, I hope that I would have had the guts to do that. I say that because it probably would have been the end of my golfing life and new-found connections had I turned them down. As I think about it now, I'm quite sure that I would have done the right thing. Angel is too important to me to do otherwise. I know I could have told her I was just going out with my golfing buddies, but I can't start going down that road. In our discussions about the move I made, we made a big thing about what we consider the most important part of our relationship as far as making it work; honesty and communication.

My friend's son and his wife drove me home from the club so that we could become acquainted prior to the dinner. Remember the mansion that is next door to me, the one I showed earlier in the Google Earth screen shot? Well, the woman who lives there is the niece of my friend's daughter-in-law, whose home I'm going to tonight. Maybe my next step will be dining at the mansion. Oh, yeah, we're movin' on up. I plan on asking Angel to wear a dress. She always looks so nice when she dresses up. I'll let you know how it goes.

Macman
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#425 Surin Nix

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 10:19 AM

As I think about it now, I'm quite sure that I would have done the right thing. Angel is too important to me to do otherwise. I know I could have told her I was just going out with my golfing buddies, but I can't start going down that road. In our discussions about the move I made, we made a big thing about what we consider the most important part of our relationship as far as making it work; honesty and communication.


I really admire your integrity Mac.

There was a good bit of deception (on my part) in my previous life, back when I had a missus.

I made the difficult choice recently to break-up with a really nice gg....but I found myself once again leaning toward my old tricks, fabricating excuses (wanting to date other gg's here in my home-country, and wanting to see {want2c} ladyboys in LOS.

...You capture precisely in the italicized words in your quote how I felt, and I just couldn't do it. So that's that......but it was pretty hard.

You're quite a guy, living truly a remarkable adventure.

Nix
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#426 Macman

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 11:45 AM

Once again, thanks for your kind words, Nix. Of course, if I still had a missus, I too would have had to practice deception. I don't think I had a whole lot of integrity while I was married, but I'm trying not to make the same mistakes with Angel that I made in my marriage. It's not always easy, but I'm giving it my best shot, with her help.

By the way, I told you guys about the invitation tonight before I told her because she was still sleeping when I got home from golf. She's a little nervous about it, but I know everything will be fine. She's a very likeable young lady.

:D

Macman
Actually living the dream.

#427 Surin Nix

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 04:45 PM

What an excellent opportunity for your golf-mates to broaden their horizons by getting acquainted with Angel. From the sounds of it, she will be as delightful as usual (maybe a bit shy).

I tend to feel like I'm walking around with red-painted ears when I'm with a LB. That's my residual hangups....nothing to do with the LB. Once, I was with Mai, my favorite ladyboy in Kata, when we sat at a bar with a group of very large Swedish guys. They were on a gg-prowl, but noticed the two of us sitting together.

Before long we we all having drinks, and it was a very nice (and unique) exerience to me to have an LB under my arm, and a table- full of very good lads enjoying the evening with us. Lots of laughing and drinking.

So there are open minded folks, and being made to feel welcome with your LB takes on a heightened significance. I hope it works out well for you both.


Nix
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#428 pacman

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 05:01 PM

We all hope the night goes well for the both of you. It is off to a promising start by virtue of the fact that your golfing buddies invited the two of you. They are hardly going to give Angel grief when she is your partner & their guest.

But I can't help but wonder if Angel's nervousness about attending doesn't come from a life time of discrimination, no matter how subtle it has been. Until she knows your friends, she would be entitled to have her guard up.

She would be thinking about how the other wives & lady partners accept her, will they smile in her face but comment behind her back? And remember, she knows what they are saying in Tagalog or whatever else they may speak.

I am sure I am jumping to conclusions but as soon as I saw you wrote about her anxiety, this is what went through my head.

I wait to hear that it all went well. Signed Mr Glass-half-empty... ;-)

#429 Macman

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 09:35 PM

Actually my 2 golf buddies already met Angel and they like her, Nix. Whenever they text me to say that they'll be at the coffee shop, they tell me to bring Angel along. This was the son of my friend and his wife.

Pacman, I don't think that's why Angel was nervous. I think it was more of a status thing. Angel is from a fairly low-income background, and while many of her friends come from families with money, they don't have the "connections". These people move in a fairly rarified atmosphere (for here), and I think that's why she was a little anxious. As a matter of fact, I was too. I dread social situations where I don't know people. Angel is a much more self-confident person than I am; certainly than I was at her age.

Anyway, it went really well. We went to a restaurant, not the house of my friend's son. The party was for the birthday of my friend's wife. She died in 1998, but he has a family dinner to commemorate her b-day every year, which is very nice. I felt pretty honored to have been invited. Let me give these people some names so I don't have to keep saying "my friend's son's wife". Let's call my friend "Mo" and his son "Al". I should also explain that Mo is 90 years old and his son is 58. I was worried about Al's wife. Often a woman of that age resents any young woman with an older guy, possibly dreading the possibility of some young chick stealing her man. As it turned out, she couldn't have been nicer to Angel. Everybody in this town knows someone who knows someone, etc. While Angel didn't know her, she knows Angel's mom, and knew who she was before we got there (I guess from Mo's conversations). Al's wife brought along her secretary, and the 3 of them wandered off by themselves before and after dinner for, as Angel described it, "girl talk." The guys all sat around talking about golf. It really went very well, and Angel and I enjoyed ourselves immensely. Another hurdle was conquered, and Angel handled herself like she belonged there. She wasn't a bit shy once the ice was broken. Like most things in life, it's usually not as bad as our fears lead us to think it will be. (Jeez, that sounds so pompous. Sorry.)

Macman
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#430 thailover57

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 10:04 PM

Not pompous at all, Mac. It's true, based on previous encounters, we attach fear/anxiety to an event. The first trip to the dentist as a kid is okay, until they start doing stuff to you. And then every medical event after that causes your body to tense (and sometimes more).

Glad to hear that the evening was a success.
Old, cantankerous, and sorry if I piss you off - well, not really. Just enjoy!

#431 Macman

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Posted 22 July 2011 - 02:39 PM

Tomorrow will be my first member golf tournament, and I'm feeling a little apprehensive. Of course, that's the worst thing you can do in golf - start worrying and over-thinking. It should be a nice day though. The team I'm on is the host this month. We have a shotgun start at 7:00 AM, will probably finish around noon, followed by lunch, awards, a raffle and a meeting.

An aside about our dinner the other night. While Al's wife and her secretary were very nice to Angel, part of that contained an ulterior motive. She's an insurance broker. What I thought was all "girl talk" was also a sales pitch. Angel told me about it, and said that we were supposed to go to the lady's office the next day. By the way, this was not completely because she thought they'd found a rich American. When I told my other friend (the guy who picks me up for golf), he said she also put the rush on him. We went to her office, and met with her and her boss. While it is a very reputable London-based insurance company, the 2 ladies had no idea what they were selling. What they were trying to sell was a combination of whole life and medical insurance. I worked on Wall Street for almost 34 years. I was a bond trader, and also did a stint as a buyer for a bond fund. These guys were not prepared for my questions. They had steered Angel towards a particular policy, which involved what I considered to be a lot of risk based on the current and projected yield. When I questioned them about it, they said, "Oh, no, it's very safe. It's a balance of equities and bonds." I asked if I could see the portfolio. No, that's not available. I then asked if the bonds were of investment grade quality. Blank stare. She had no idea what I meant by that. By that time, Al's wife had taken Angel aside to another room, leaving me with the boss. After fumbling around, she found a list of their Equity Fund and Bond Fund holdings. "This is what's in that portfolio," she said. "It's a 50-50 balance." I knew from the yields of those 2 funds, that it was impossible to be what was in the one they were pushing, but there was no sense in beating her up about it. I didn't get the sense of a con; just a hard sell and ignorance of their product. Angel later told me that she had told Al's wife that we were still testing our relationship, and would be doing so for 6 months to a year. The lady then suggested that Angel take me to an attorney, and get papers drawn up making me liable for payments in the event of a break up. :lol: Yeah, right. Sure I will. Anyway, we said we would take home the papers and talk it over. Al's wife then offered to pick Angel up on Saturday and take her to the Club to watch the tournament. I forgot to mention that the premiums on this policy would account for almost 10% of our budget. Well Al's wife just sent Angel a text, asking if we'd decided yet. Angel plans on telling her that we are not prepared to take any steps like that until we are secure in our relationship. Let's see how friendly she is after that answer. Another thing - we stopped in to see Angel's mom yesterday. Remember, she knows Al's wife. We told her about what happened and she told us not to sign anything. I was glad that she felt that way. It gives me faith.

Wish me luck tomorrow.

Macman
Actually living the dream.

#432 Guest_pentire_*

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Posted 22 July 2011 - 03:33 PM

:D That's a nice story Mac, reading it I could picture the scene in my minds eye, the more I read, the bigger my smile.
Al's wife had probably briefed the boss that a soft touch was in town and commission on this one was easy meat.

Good Luck Tomorrow :rock:




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