115 replies to this topic

[hankhavelock]

It's been a while since I posted here, but I do follow the debate and I'm still around.

There has been said a lot about having a transsexual "bar-girl" as a girlfriend, and I guess I'm not in a position to challenge any one on their personal views or approaches.

I do, how ever, find it mildly strange that I, after four years in Asia cannot truly subscribe to you hardliners' "you can take the girl outta the bar but not the bar outta the girl" decription of the "fact". Because the truth of the matter is that it's I who've been the bad boy in the relationships I've had. Even with Thai ladyboys (I live in Jakarta, so naturally most are from here).

Admittedly, I'm a moderately handsome guy and I tend to treat people nicely - that may be the answer. How ever, I find my personal experiences to be so vastly far from the general consencus here that I do start to wonder. I'm sure many of you are much better looking than I am and also very nice guys.

So how can it be that we have such completely different experiences?

What ever the reason I think it's troublesome that the hardliners present "truths" about Asian and ladyboy mentality when the fact is that these truths are based on THEIR personal experiences and hearsay rather than on general fact. Because MY personal experiences differ a lot from the majority of the socalled "truths" I read here.

I don't say this to the "lost cases" - the old guys who've already long ago made up their mind about Asian transsexuality, but I say this to new guys here who occasionally ask questions about falling in love with and having meaningful relationships with Asian ladyboys.

My advice to you is to listen to the old male-lions to some degree... but don't let their disillusions and cynical approach discourage you! I have NEVER met as much love and kindness as I have in the last four years among Asian trans*women - and not ONE has taken me for a ride the bad way!

They are girls just like any other girls. Treat them as such! RESPECT is the buzz-word.

H

[Legend]

that I, after four years in Asia

So how can it be that we have such completely different experiences.?

you answered your own question mate.
if you live in asia, of course you can find a genuine partner.
but for the rest of us, its just a holiday.
how can anyone expect to find a meaningfull relationship 6000 miles from home.?

[hankhavelock]

so you are saying that because i like to butterfly, and say it how it is, ie all they want is money, is that i do not respect them.
if you look at any post i make as regarsds to my comments on the p4p scene, i always reiterrate the fact, that i always treat them with respect and dignity, and also to assume, that i do not along with others, is a sweeping statement...

I'm sure you're a REAL darling... I'm not debating prostitution here (a thing I have were little experience with), merely the suggestions that are given here by guys about RELATIONSHIPS with trans*women. So basicly my posting is not at all aimed at you.

[hankhavelock]

that I, after four years in Asia

So how can it be that we have such completely different experiences.?

you answered your own question mate.
if you live in asia, of course you can find a genuine partner.
but for the rest of us, its just a holiday.
how can anyone expect to find a meaningfull relationship 6000 miles from home.?

I do agree - but how come they so readily offer advice on RELATIONSHIPS then? That bothers me.

[dixon cox]

I think hank makes a number of valid points, the main one being to treat people with respect...

Relationships are based on how we behave and how we perceive the behaviour of other people and two-way respect between two individuals can allow a successful friendship to develop, or not.

Topics such as this are always based on experiences, either first-hand or second-hand. These experiences in turn lead to people forming opinions and just because someone has a different opinion on someone or something does not make it wrong.

We are all different and see, react and respond to other people and situations differently, which in turn again leads to differing opinions.

Facts can be argued, opinions can be discussed but should always be respected

[hankhavelock]

hankhavelock said:

I'm sure you're a REAL darling...

try and replie, and all some people can do is be sarcastic
that just sums it up for me, condescending prick :!: :!:

Honey, I asked in east and you answered in west... I'm sure you're a grand p4p ladyboy "lover" and hats off for that, I'm so impressed, but it still has very little to do with my initial posting here.

And I happily plead guilty to being a "condescending prick" Add to that an arrogant swine who has little to say to guys who talk about the "walk of shame" and consider transsexuals "blokes" (I dunno if YOU ever did, but several of your peers have done so consistantly :-)

And now that we know one another and b4 you blow your top, then please read my posting and relate to it b4 answering.

Peace

H

[hankhavelock]

dc said :

I think hank makes a number of valid points, the main one being to treat people with respect...

i do, and for him to just assume that i do not, because i see lbs in the p4p scene is not on, then when i write a replie, he becomes a condescending knob.
short time is short time, hello how are you, we go loom, boom boom finished. however lt, i buy the lbs drink, food, and buy all accounts have been paying them very well also.
for example, a lb who i had long time on the last few days of my trip, had a bad cough and was bringing up flem, since i am asthmatic i knew she had a chest infection, so i took her to pharmacy, bought the same antibiotics the doc gives me back home, got her throat medicine cough medicine, ect ect, i took really good care of her, as i would do with any gg/lb in los if i take for lt.
and it pisses me off when people assume that us holiday makers treat the p4p in los like shit.
i treat them as i would a gf back home, also i treat them with respect as if it was not for the lbs/ggs in los, we would not be able to live out our fantasies

But then why did you answer this thread in the first place? It's so obviously not about you or about anything you have any experience with? So why did you decide to take me on here? I didn't initially write anything provocatively, but you decided to make this into such a thing, and then I happily take you on, because basicly I detest most of you guys view on transsexuality in Asia.´But that's a completely other matter that was not in my initial posting.

[Legend]

i think you are getting confused when you bring the word "transexuality" into it.
we all love transexuals, and are proud to walk around hand in hand with them.
hence, we are all members of a transexual lovers forum.
and dedicate our lives around spending time with them.

[hankhavelock]

i think you are getting confused when you bring the word "transexuality" into it.
we all love transexuals, and are proud to walk around hand in hand with them.
hence, we are all members of a transexual lovers forum.
and dedicate our lives around spending time with them.

Nah, it takes a bit more to get me confused :-) And the word is "transsexuality". Trust me, I know (but don't tell any one) :-)