361 replies to this topic

[Legend]

laptop, valid question.
maybe ive had a bad run, but in my eyes, if i was to take on a partner for long term, they have to enhance my life, same as would do to their,s. if they put limits on my life, im off.
got mates who cant do this, cant do that. thats not for me.
i dont do too bad in uk for a bit of rumpy pumpy, but i tend to back away after 2 nights, prefer to be single.
i dont miss companionship as ive got used to living alone.
i guess the bottom line is, some people cannot be on their own. they finish with a girl, and within a week they get another.
i dont NEED a partner, it would be a choice.

[laptop]

Fair answer. I guess that is where we differ. I probably enjoy getting to know a girl and building up a relationship. And i am obviously less comfortable being alone for long periods of time.

In fact even when I do go with lb's or gg's in LOS i tend to stay with them for a few days or return to them again. I have not done short times that many times.

[Legend]

i suppose its similar to when you meet a career women.
they wont let anything get in the way of their career, and some even pay male escorts to fuck them.
i wont let anyone get in the way of enjoying my life.
unless she,s an lb, six pack, good laugh........

[kliome]

I'm with Anthony. I don't want a partner in my life. I love the way my life is now..

All the money I earn is my own, I can do what I want, I never have to answer to anyone. I work freelance too which helps, but if I wake up and want to go to Barcelona for a few days or head back to LOS, or just want to go out with some friends in London, as long is it's within reason I can just go with the flow and do it.

When I go to LOS I can go wild, indulge in my fantasies and inhibitions, I socialise 24/7 and party HARD. I always return home wanting to work and get a few projects going, and I'm lucky in that I do a job I'm passionate about and when I get into something it can be 24/7 for a few weeks or more.

I go out occassionally when I'm home but I enjoy being alone most of this time, and going out with friends or meeting girls when the urge takes me, for the most I like to build it all up for the LOS or other trips and be a bit of a workaholic at home, socialise with other people in my field and get into new work.

I'm happier than most of my mates who are married or in serious relationships, and much much happier than the ones who are single but trying hard to find a partner. Some of my firneds are in a relationship and they are happy, and good for them, but a few who aren't happy think I'm lucky for being able to go away so much, when it has nothing to do with luck, some of them earn as much, if not more money than I do, they just have a partner, kids and /or a home.

Anthony nails it, the problem is a lot of people feel the NEED to be with someone, they just don't feel comfortable being alone. In essense MOST people feel this way and probably don't understand someone who prefers to be single.

I miss having a partner from time to time but it's usually just when I'm feeling bored and/or horny but I think the people I know who are partnered up miss their freedom more.

I know some people like to have a partner and swing etc.. but this just wouldn't do it for me, I can't think of a worse situation for me personally, it's like the worst of both worlds. If I started to feel differently and wanted to have a partner I'd look foward to the exclusivity and emotional attachment of the relationship, but I'm nowhere near wanting that right now. I luvs to party too much.

[tarado]

Stuart H - You have crystallized my thoughts on the subject. Well said.

regarding selfishness, which is a subject I have discussed with other single guys in my peer group - on the surface it may seem that following ones own desires and happiness is selfish.

I will refer to one of history's most quotable Irish men - Oscar Wilde:
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

Now, if I have responsibilities to others (wife and children) then spending time and money on chasing LBs in LOS would indeed be selfsih. But what if I am obligated to no one?

I think one of the highest capacities we have as unique humans - compared to the other mammals,..is that we can imagine and create a unique life, and then pursue it.

[tarado]

when it comes to the subject of being alone / lonely (not necessarily the same thing) for 48 weeks out of the year and living your fantasies for 3,..that is a valid point.

And, in my case, has been the price I have paid to live those fantasies. At times - over the last several years I have felt acute loneliness while patiently saving and waiting for the next Asian adventure.

I ask this "What worthwhile in your life is not without sacrafice, some pain and hard work? Delaying the instant gratification for a higher goal?"

At present I have a gf (born in Asia) who is 13 years younger than me. It is great and has indeed added happiness to my life. I enjoy cooking and every chef needs an appreciative audience. having a connection and regular sex is great.

However, I don't live with her. I am not in line to be the father of her babies. If push comes to shove and the ultimatum comes "marriage and kids or else!", I will opt for the freedom of the future.

My near future without the promise of those incredible trips is bleak and gray.

I will willingly trade a life of mundane comforts and sexual and spiritual frustration for those precious months every year where I am free and feel like I am living.

here is another quote for you, this time from Nietzsche
"the life is made of rarest moments of great intensity and many intervals. the greater part of the men, but not knowing the magical moments, ends with the living only the intervals."

I am willing to tolerate periods of personal loneliness / boredom for those moments of great intensity.

[philts]

Good to see all different views, just goes to prove that many people can like the same thing (LB's) but are different personalities.

Very much agree with comments made by PeterK.

When he said he feels guilty about cheating on his wife it's good that he does but at the same time occassional casual sex or paying fo sex is not "cheating" in my book.

Cheating is when you give your heart (love) to someone else, that should never be forgiven.

[Legend]

thats an interesting angle with regards to cheating.
so would it be ok if your wife payed me to give her one once a month?
or would she mind if she found out you have casual sex?

i was aware that one slip up and you are up the road, clothes in a bin liner back to your parents house.
while she decides if you get to see your kids on a saturday.

[pog1701]

Call it Catholic guilt if you will, I know my choices are limited very much to fat Irish birds, though if I could acquire a super sexy GG from Thailand I could not handle cheating on her with a LB guilt would kill me. So right now I have selected butterfly lifestyle and if I am lonley for 48 weeks of the year I either go to the pub or the gym.

I know this is not a very mature or fulfilling lifestyle, but thats what happens when you are a victim of arrested development.

[peterk]

Good to see all different views, just goes to prove that many people can like the same thing (LB's) but are different personalities.

Very much agree with comments made by PeterK.

When he said he feels guilty about cheating on his wife it's good that he does but at the same time occassional casual sex or paying fo sex is not "cheating" in my book.

Cheating is when you give your heart (love) to someone else, that should never be forgiven.

Philts you have hit the nail on the head mate although i did describe what i do as cheating i have tried to explain to my friends that i don't regard p4p as cheating in the real sense coz i don't have a true relationship with any other women apart from my wife who i do love! this may be hard for some people to believe but that is how i feel. I have only loved my wife in the 19 years that we have been together but have shagged about a 100 women!

[freebirdabc]

Cheating is when you give your heart (love) to someone else, that should never be forgiven.

[...]describe what i do as cheating i have tried to explain to my friends that i don't regard p4p as cheating in the real sense coz i don't have a true relationship with any other women apart from my wife who i do love!

It's still cheating. Sex and love? Two completely separate things, I agree on that. But to me, love should be based on honesty and trust, not on a lie.

Fucking other girls without telling her is just selfish. Telling her and giving her the chance to do same like you is fair.

If you know that she would leave you if you tell her that you fuck other girls you should leave your wife/gf if you actually love her.

Once again, everybody will totally disagree with me...

[Phil Lander]

The cheating aspect is something that had been bothering me . Once I did it I never looked back and felt regret but I never did it at home as I did'nt want anyone telling the wife . Call me selfish but having sex about three or four times a year because she was too tired or I did'nt feel like it got me in the habit of masturbating to LB porn so I guess that would be considered cheating too.

I decided that me going with a working girl was better than going to the pub and finding a bit on the side as that could have lead to something serious . I have been through my parents getting divorced twice each and did'nt really want to go through that myself.

However I am getting a divorce now so I could possibly find a girlfriend and never go back to Thailand , I'm no longer a spring chicken so have to take what I can get , only I wont be taking any BingoWings .

We have a saying her about people being in the GST club (VAT for the UK) . You start off with your fortune , get 50% after your first divorce , 25% after your second divorce and 12.5% (GST) after your third. I dont ever want to be in that position .