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[Nick Bullseye]

An Old Toad's Misadventure in Phuket

Prologue


You will understand how difficult it was for me to write this trip
report. Contrary to my previous reports, this one does not contain any
photos. You will soon understand why. Instead of photos, it will
contain a lot of self-reflection, doubts, unanswered questions, as
well as an enourmous dose of regret and sadness.

I do not know if I acted in the right way or if I was wrong. I do not
know if I over-reacted. I do not know why all this happened what you
will discover in the sequel. Please, let me know through your comments
what you think.

Jimbo, Surin Nix, Flexxy, and Clemens were the witnesses of my
misadventure. Jimbo was directly involved as the bar owner and helped
me very much. Surin Nix served as my shrink and closest confident. All
four tried to help when they saw that my moral was going down the
drain. My warmest thanks to all of them for their kind help.

I tried to be as objective as possible, do not want to make things
different, embelish them, or make them worse. However, my story is
definitely subjective. It would be good to read also Patricia's
version of the events and her opinion.

All comments - either on the open forum or by means of a PM - are
welcome, but please avoid to be cynical.

[Nick Bullseye]

Day 1



I landed at the Phuket airport in the evening. Called Patricia and
told her that I will be at the hotel in one hour. She usually comes to
pick me up at the airport, but this time she was not willing to
come. I just thought she might use the afternoon and evening to relax,
since it was her day off.

I wanted to have a room in Baipho or Baithong, since last June
Patricia appreciated very much the Jacuzzi suite. Unfortunately both
hotels were full and I had to accept a reservation in Sala Dee. The
latter hotel has nothing to do with the first two and is one class
below.

I arrived at the hotel, check in, Patricia was still not there, but
SMSed me asking "r u in hotel yet?". I gave her identity during my
check-in to the front desk so that she does not need to do all the
hassle. Patricia arrived when I was still unpacking. My first
surprise: she arrived in drab clothes, without make-up, and even her
welcome kiss was not convincing. Moreover, when we stayed together
before, she always arrived with a her luggage full of sexy clothes,
high heel shoes, and other elements necessary for a beautiful
ladyboy. I thought that she would make herself beautiful in our room
before we went to C&D. I gave her the presents I brought her: her
favorite perfume, an album with 200 photos I shot of her since I know
her, and ... the most important one ... a brand new Iphone 4s. She was
in a bad need of a new mobile phone, since her old one was
disintegrating. She thanked me for the presents, but I had the
impression that she was distant. There was no real conviction in her
behavior.


The Iphone 4s was unusable right there, since it did not have a SIM
card and her old SIM card had to be cut to fit into the new mobile
phone. The Apple store was closed at that time already (9pm),
therefore we decided to go to it in Jungceylon the next day.

After unpacking and a refreshment, we went to C&D. To my surprise,
Patricia went in that drab clothes, without make-up, and without high
heels, although she knows very well how I like her well-dressed and
with a perfect make-up.

[Nick Bullseye]

Flashback to May 2010



Do you remember the wonderful photo of Patricia and me, shot by Jimbo
in May 2010, as we arrive in the bar hand in hand, smiling, and very
happy? It was my first visit as Patricia's boyfriend. We stayed in
Baipho together appreciated each other very much. Patricia was very
nice to me, paid always a lot of attention to me, cuddled, several
times outside put her head on my shoulder indicating this way how much
she cared for me.

I did not write a trip report from my May 2010 stay, although I was
extremely happy with Patricia. She also appreciated a lot my presence
- at least I had this impression. Nicole was guiding her a lot, what
had a very good impact on our relationship. Nicole herself stayed with
Johnnydiver (aka esquire) - he was smitten by her. Johnny wrote an
extended report on it, published on TLF, where he mentions several
time Patricia and me, as well as the good time we had together.

[Johnny. I downloaded your report and coverted it into a PDF file. May
I attach it to my report here, please?]

I was in heaven, smitten myself, overwhelmed with my feelings to
Patricia. She also seemed to appreciate me. She also liked her brand
new boobs, which I sponsored - it was my Christmas present in 2009 to
her - and thanked me for paying her hospital bills after her motorbike
accident in Spring 2010.

I did not think I would fell so much in love with her, but it just
happened, although I knew well what kind of job she is doing. Feelings
are irrational.

Patricia and me, we had wonderful time together. We went on a boat
trip to Phi Phi Island, we went with Johnny and Nicole scuba diving -
the girls did a DSD twice. We went to Simon Cabaret. We visited the
island of Phuket and had fun, both inside and outside the bar.

I considered this all our private happines. Therefore I did not write
a trip report. However, I started a thread on Patricia and posted many
photos on it from my stay in May 2010. From those pictures, and also
from other which I posted in the C&D thread, it became clear to many
of you that I have very strong feelings for Patricia.

End of flashback

[Nick Bullseye]

We arrived in C&D, where I met Jimbo and the other girls (Seya,
Nicole, May, Ming, Pang, Oh, etc). I made the acquaintance of Surin
Nix, Flexxy, and Clemens (not on the forum). All three reveled
themselves as excellent friends, helped me a lot, and gave me much
support. I also met Batman and Hartmut, whom I knew before. Batman was
visiting for a month and staying with Oh, Hartmut lives with Pang
since last May.

Patricia met with Pang and Oh. The three started to do their own
business. I thought, WTF. It did not matter, since I thought the girls
just wanted to have fun. In retrospective, I realized that Patricia
just did not pay attention to me at all. I shot a couple of photos,
which I uploaded later to the C&D thread. Patricia then took the
camera and went on a photo shot through the bar. I like it, since
Patricia is gifted in taking photos and since she does it with my
camera, I considered it as attention given to me. However, I felt her
distant and disinterested in me ("I had a bad feeling about that"). I
thought that she wanted to be with Pang and Oh, since Oh was leaving
with Batman and some other girls in two days to Issan. More and more
into the night, I had the impression that the three girls (Patricia,
Oh, and Pang) were competing in the attitude to give us (me, Batman,
and Hartmut) a really shitty time.

Even Patricia's kisses to me were bad. I know that she can kiss
better. Now it was more like a kissing of a small child.

However, I did not make much of this whole approach of Patricia toward
me. I thought she needed maybe some adaptation time. What I
appreciated less was that Patricia distributed ladydrinks to her
friends without my permission. We agreed long time ago (in October
2010), that she has an open bar on my account for her own drinks but
will ask me for drinks for her freinds. I am not a Cheap Charlie and
agree them, but I like to be asked since I want to be in charge.

Patricia started to prepare for the cabaret and put on make-up only at
this moment. I took a couple of photos from the cabaret, also with
her. She did her usual cabaret routine, but did not try to be
extremely seducing.


After the cabaret, Patricia continued to do her business with Oh and
Pang, not paying attention to me very much. I had difficulties to get
her away from the bar. We went eating next door, to Seefood restaurant
no 1, where once more I felt Patricia distant, even sometimes avoiding
eye contact with me. From there we went back to the hotel. I am
usually at ease with Patricia, but I felt now that the atmosphere
between us became more and more charged.

We arrived at the hotel, took a shower, I started to cuddle, but
Patricia was not into it very much. She fucked me first and I
appreciated, even if she did not come inside my ass (with condom, of
course), but after a while pulled out, ripped off the condom, and
jerked off. In fact, since the time I know Patricia, she always fucked
me this way.

[Questions to other BMs who went with Patricia: You also had only this experience?]

After Patricia came, we have a small rest, then Patricia took a shower
and came back to bed. I told her that we change positions. Her answer
is: "I am not horny. We do not do it". Big deception for me. So I say:
"OK, I understand that you are not horny now any more after you came,
so we fuck in the morning". Her answer: "I hate in the morning". My
answer: "You fucked me well, I liked it, but I would also like to fuck
you. I accept your refusal today, but will not accept the next days.

We switched the lights off and we slept. Before falling asleep, I
thought:" I expected to pass some excellent time with Patricia, but
the first day I have got only shit".

[Nick Bullseye]

Day 2


I got up at noon, went to read e-mail on my laptop. I tried to wake up
Patricia by kissing her, and I expected to continue with cuddling, to
make her horny. Nothing like that happened. After the kiss she
shrugged together and turned on the other side. Eventually ay 2pm she
got up, but not for cuddling with me. She went to take a shower, got
dressed - once more in that drab dress and flat shoes - and we left
for breakfast and then for Jungceylon. In the Apple store there we
bought a protection cover for the Iphone, and Patricia got her SIM
card cut, so that she could put it into the Iphone. I expected her to
be happy as a clam, but she had only a lukewarm reaction.

From there we went to the diving club at Soi Sansabai. The club is run
by a French director and several instructors are French. The director
knows me from before and he knows also Patricia. There was never a
problem taking Patricia into the shop. However, this was the first
time she felt not well inside. I do not know why. I got the
information about diving trip and prices, but told the director as
well as Patricia that I will consult first Surin Nix, since we decided
the night before to go diving together. Finally we did not go since
Surin Nix got a cold and I was fully involved in this telenovela, as
you will read. However, Patricia insisted that I book a diving trip. I
got there the first impression that she wants to get rid of me.

From the diving club we went back to the hotel. During the walk I start
to discuss what we want to do during my stay. To my question what she
wanted to do, she answered "I do not know". I proposed to go on a trip
to the islands, either Koh Phi Phi or James Bond. Her reaction:
"No". I proposed her to go to Phromthep Cap. Her reaction: "No". I
proposed her to go horse riding. Her reaction: "No". I proposed her to
buy her a new bikini. Her question: "What for?" My answer: "We go to
the beach". Her reaction: "No". I did some additional proposals to
which I always got the answer "No".

We almost arrived at the hotel. In front of it is a small shop with
clothes. She choose a dress, but not sexy at all. I bought it for
her. This dress will play a role in the sequel.


We went back to the room. Patricia started immediately to play with
the Iphone. After a while she phoned Oh and Pang, and we went to see
them near Soi Crocodile, where Batman has his headquaters. The girls
started to play pool for money and Batman, me, Hartmut, and another
guy we discussed. After the last pool game, Patricia was happy since
she won. I proposed her to go to Jungceylon to go bowling. Hence, I
thought - the first value time for me. Actually, Patricia was easing
off since she got on the Iphone. It made her definitely
happy. However, I discovered in Jungceylon that she also invited Oh
and Pang to bowling. OK, never mind, but I regret not being alone with
her. Nevertheless, things seem to go the right way. At each turn -
before launching the ball - we kiss.

After bowling, I propose to do a stroll on Bangla road. She is not
interested. Then I do not remember well what we did until we arrived
in C&D. There she got together immediately with Pang. They mainly
played pool and drunk cocktails, since they were the only
non-barfinable girls in the bar and all the others were occupied,
since there were many customers present. Sonya challanged me on
Patricia's attire, showing me that her dress was OK (only so-so), but
for her flat shoes Sonya showed me her thumb down. Yes, I
agreed. Moreover, Patricia was still without make-up. She did it
during preparation for cabaret.

We discussed with Batman, Hartmut, Jimbo, and some others. Batman was
getting nervous since Oh was still missing and they had to leave the
next day for Issan. As we knew later, Oh went to see a friend in a
hospital. Then Patricia prepared for cabaret and did her cabaret
routine. After the cabaret, Oh, Pang, and Patricia continued to drink
and became quite wild and drunk. They drunk at least 3 cocktails and 7
tequila shots each. At a certain moment, I looked at Batman and
Hartmut. Both had a very sour expression on their faces and mine was
probably not better. As usually, I had difficulties to get Patricia
out of the bar, but at 1:50am we went eating to the Seafood restaurant
no 1. there she avoided completely eye contact with me and I had the
impression that my physical presence made her unconfortable. She just
played with the Iphone. After a while, when I got upset, I told her:
"Patricia, it is not nice what you are doing". She put the Iphone
aside, but still avoided eye contact. The food finished, we went back
to the hotel.


In the hotel room, she asks me to go shower first, what I do. Then she
showers, comes back to the bed, lays down and tells me: "I am tired, I
cannot". I tried to convince her: "Yesterday night you told me we
would do tonight". Her answer: "How shall I do if I cannot". A long
pause. Then I sayed: "Patricia, I have the impression that you do not
care about me". Her answer: "I will not discuss about it". I
interpreted it as "no comment". A very long pause. I think about my
options, which are:


[*:41f6821bdb] be violent - this is out of the question for me, I would NEVER hit
her or be otherwise violent to her
[*:41f6821bdb] tell her "I pay you hence you do what I want" - absolute lack of
style, which would preclude any possibility to continue, moreover it
would be from me a total lack of consideration
[*:41f6821bdb] pull my tail between my legs, hang down my ears, and become the
beaten underdog - unbearable and unacceptable for me
[*:41f6821bdb] ask her to leave - that is what I did
Was this decision right? What other options did I have? What would you
do in my place?


Hence I assembled all Patricia's belongings in the room and asked her
to leave. At this moment she was not tired any more. She jumped up,
put on her dress, and asked to be paid. I offered her 4000 baht for
the two days together. She told me: "I want two more". I gave her 2000
baht more without any hagling. She relinquished the Iphone. I told
her: "Your SIM card is still in it". I pulled out the SIM card and put
it in her hand. She then smashed the photo album on the floor, threw
the other dress on the floor - the one I bought her - and kicking my
shoes left the room. No shouting or bad words were exchanged. I stayed
calm, Patricia too.

I stayed in my room for a while, dressed and then went for a
walk. This was around 5am. Was not looking for any company, just
needed to take a walk. Went back to the hotel room, wrote a message to
Jimbo about what happened, and went to sleep. I did not sleep well.

[Nick Bullseye]

Day 3


After a very uneasy night and very light sleep, I woke up, got shower,
and decided to call Jimbo. We decided to have a drink in Malibu bar in
the evening, then go for a dinner together. Jimbo was was a perfect
gentleman and gave me back what I paid Patricia for her non-action, as
well as the barfine. We had a very pleasant conversation, I was
delighted by Jimbo's approach of the problem. He also asked me if I am
ready now to move on, to what I answered YES.

We then arrived in the bar. Patricia was there, dressed in a very sexy
red and black mini-dress, with perfect make-up. When I saw her, I knew
that my promis to move on I gave to Jimbo before just got scraped. I
woved Ming over to have a drink with me. I used Ming - Patricia's
roommate - as a middleman (or should I write middle ladyboy). Patricia
came - quite angry - asking me what I want. We discussed but it was
more a verbal skirmish than a real discussion, since we were not
heading anywhere. Then Patricia had to prepare for cabaret. During
cabaret she paid attention that she was always in my view angle. We
continued the discussion after the cabaret.

Her attitude changed considerably after cabaret. In fact, as I learned
later, Jimbo spoke with Ning Nong and they decided to charge Patricia
the money that Jimbo gave me back. She continued to ask me: "What do
you want?" but now in a non-agressive manner. I answered: "I want back
the nice and sweet girl whom I met here two years ago and also as she
was last June when I visited her last time". I also told her how much
she humiliated me last night, how much I lost face. We went on and on
in the discussion and finally decided to think everything over and
make a decision the next night. I told her that even if she decides to
tell me NO, but tells it in an acceptable way, I will give Jimbo back
the money and she will NOT be charged, except the barfine - since we
want to know her that such behavior has consequences. However, I asked
her: "Why do you bother about money? Why don't you bother about us and
our relationship? Money is not a problem unless it is an enormous
amount". We concluded that she will not seek a barfine that night and
I will not barfine anybody, until next day decision.


Then I went to have some beers with other guys in the bar - Surin Nix,
Flexxy, Jimbo, etc. When they left, Patricia came over and we
discussed - as friends. I spoke about values we cherrish most in
Europe: love, friendship, honesty,... I explained her what we
Europeans understand under it. She seemed to understand too. I also
told her how much I regretted what happened. At the end of the night,
when I was leaving the bar, she was melted and her body language
indicated: "Please, barfine me and take me with you". I resisted. I
did not want to be such an easy game for her. I think I did a
tremendous blunder here. I should have taken her with me that night. I
think everything would have been totally different. If she touched me
or if she put her head on my shoulder, I would certainly do. But I
also did not want to be overbearing and wanted to ease off my pressure
on her. Maybe that with my bad decision I just exercised more
pressure.

I went to sleep alone.

[Nick Bullseye]

*** TO BE CONTINUED ***

[batman4ever]

well a sad storie indeed,and iam sorry for all your troubles regarding Patricia.....

but that said...i gotta correct you... i never feels that Oh tried to give me any shitty time at all, both her and me are used to that i wants to talk with my fellow BM`s without her constant presence and i dont mind her chatting with other girls or costumers while iam there.... i dont own here...and she dont own me... simple fact

and regard her absence in the hospital... it wasnt a friend she went to see... she was having a bloody toothpain and she went to see if there was anything they could do about it....but they ended up giving her the excact same precription as i did 3 hours before

[Nick Bullseye]

Up to you, Batman. I agree that Oh had a terrible toothache, but I thought she visited the girl severly beaten by a tourist the other day.

There is one factual error in my story. Your HQ is near Soi Paradise, not Soi Croc.

[petesie]

Thanks for taking the time and trouble to write this for us Bully.

I understand how difficult it must be for you to bare your wounds publicly and in my opinion it takes a helluva big chap to do that; I know it took a lot out of you to do just that.

I'm hoping that as the tale unfolds that you have moved on and on reflection find forgiveness in you for her actions.

We've all loved and lost and the break up is the worst moment in your life at that time but we deal with it and find that life goes on and so do we mate.

[tourist]

dear Monsieur B,
really enjoing your style and your honesty. My full respect and admiration for putting your story out clearly and detailed.

You let us know already this won't be a happy-ending story but it seems so interesting so far..

cheers form someone that doesn't like ALL the LBs which look like top models..