Posted 09 August 2011 - 08:40 AM
Pah! They're just riots ButterflyEyes - nothing like the pain i'm suffering just now.
Vlad The Impaler (aka Ming) and Drax The Destroyer (aka Face) have not long departed.
My arse feels like they rammed hot coals up it, using a telegraph pole...wrapped in barbed wire!
After a lot of fun and laughter, i had my way with them alternately, and lay back afterwards with a contented grin on my face, expecting to drift into a deep sleep.
However Vlad & Drax had other ideas .
Vlad was first, and despite the size of her WMD i managed to restrain from anything other than a low moan.
You'd have thought they would have given their victim a moment to recover. But no, as soon as Vlad withdrew, Drax was straight in there.
Vlad had to put a pillow over my face to stifle the screams. Although not quite as big as Vlad's, its the hardest piece of equipment you'll find outside a diamond mine, and she hammers away like a pneumatic drill!
After what seemed an eternity of pain, it was all over, and i could hear them cackling away together, at their victim's plight, as they exited the building.
I lay for a while in the blood, sweat, semen, and feathers from the chewed up pillow.
There's no way i could sleep after that assault, and i moved crab-like from the bedroom to this seat, carrying the other nice soft pillow to place under me while i write my report. The journey took a full 6 minutes!
I'd love my morning tea and toast, but i daren't even twitch, never mind perform a task like that!
I had thought of going to buy some ice cream, to use as a soothing balm, but the thought of going up and down 40 steps, plus a bow-legged ride to Family Mart, on a bumpy road...is just too much to comtemplate.
I even considered using the fire extinguisher, but it has a pretty hard looking nozzle. And there's no way anything "pretty hard" is going anywhere near my rectum for a while!
Don't let anybody tell you running a ladyboy bar is easy!