Here's a very interesting story from today's Bangkok Post
Ladyboy monk's full about face
He grew up identifying as a woman and spent his mother's money on make-up and surgery, but a brief stint in the clergy helped offer Numnow a new outlook
Published: 4/05/2014 at 06:04 AM
Newspaper section: Spectrum
At first glance, there is nothing unusual about Naruebet "Numnow" Proncena; he is just a regular, good-looking man. But Numnow's recent past has made him a source of fascination — and derision — for thousands of internet users.
Before and After: Numnow shows off his transition from a transgender woman back to a man. Photos: courtesy of Naruebet Proncena
"I have never felt like a boy since I was seven years old," the 23 year old says. "I always played with the girls. I avoided all sports that required direct physical contact, such as football. From that point on, I lived my life as a woman.”
At university, Numnow became something of a minor campus celebrity.
But that was nothing compared with his current status as a social media superstar which began when, in order to be ordained as a monk, he reverted to living as a man. Comments describing him as a "freak" soon went viral on the internet.
The initial online castigation turned to a flood of compliments, and Numnow now has thousands of internet fans and is recognised wherever he goes.
TROUBLED TEEN
Originally from Phetchaburi's Muang district, Numnow tells Spectrum that he was effeminate when he was young, but didn’t begin to express his sexual identity until he became a teenager.
When studying in Mattayom 3, around the age of 15, Numnow started to powder his face and wear utaitip liquid, a traditional herbal medicine with a distinctive red colour commonly used as a cheap form of lipstick.
A year later, he started to grow his hair long and put full make-up on his face.
After graduating high school, Numnow took a year’s break from studying. He spent that year living his life as a woman: he grew his hair and nails long, put on make-up, wore women’s clothing and ended his sentences with “ka” instead of “krup” whenever he spoke.
“In the countryside, there is no such thing as a gay man. If you are not male or female, you will be classified as katoey, or ladyboy,” Numnow says.
During that year, Numnow developed a network of friends who were also transgender, and worked as a cabaret performer at numerous restaurants and bars in Muang Phetchaburi.
But Numnow’s mother was displeased with the way he was living his life. She asked him to stop playing around and go back to school, and he complied to keep his mother happy.
He came to Bangkok in 2010 at the age of 19 to start college.
LOOKING THE PART
In the big city, Numnow found it a lot more difficult to live as a ladyboy. “There is a lot of competition here. Unlike where I'm from, I have to make sure I look my best all the time,” he said.
When he first arrived in Bangkok, only Numnow's long hair and a small amount of make-up identified him as transgender. But he soon spent a lot of the money his mother gave him on beauty products and cosmetic surgery.
After a while of being surrounded by other transgender people at college, he became convinced his appearance as a woman was not convincing enough.
“I went to one beauty clinic to get a facial treatment," he recalls. "I spent more than 10,000 baht a month on facial treatments to make my skin look beautiful, female hormones so I could look more like a woman and laser treatment to get rid of body hair at undesired spots.”
To complete his perfect look, Numnow decided to get plastic surgery. He started with injecting cosmetic filler under the skin around his cheeks and chin. Then he had nose surgery where the doctor implanted silicone on the bridge of his nose.
“I spent more than 100,000 baht just to make myself look more like a beautiful woman,” Numnow says.
He completed his ideal look after the surgery and hormone treatment. The result was satisfying. “The blood vessels on my arms became less visible, I had no hair on my arms, legs or face, and I had perfectly light skin. I looked and felt like a real woman at that time,” he says.
Every baht Numnow spent came out of his mother’s pocket. His parents were separated and he grew up with his grandmother, who took care of him since he was very young. His mother supported him financially, while his father did not give him as much support.
“My mum is quite open about my sexuality. She did not complain about how I was. She said as long as I graduate and be a good person, that all that matters," he says.
"My dad did not talk to me or touch me at all ever since he realised I wanted to be a katoey.”
TURNING POINT
The turning point for Numnow began when his parents asked him to ordain as a monk to pay respect to his grandmother and parents. Numnow hesitated, as he had started to become famous among the students at his university.
“I was popular at my university. I was a cheerleader for my faculty and I was listed on the university’s Facebook page as ‘DPU cute gay & ladyboy’. The freshers called me Jae Now [older sister],” Numnow says.
His fame at the university made it hard for him to ordain, because it meant having to let go of the only thing that he loved: his long hair. But to please his parents, Numnow decided to join the monkhood for two weeks. He knew of many transgender people in Phetchaburi who had done it and then returned to their old lives.
“When I started talking about becoming a monk for two weeks, everyone I know just thought I was crazy and it was impossible," he says. "They said I am not a closet gay, I am not a newbie who just started to dress like a woman, but I have lived as a transgender person all my life.”
Numnow told himself he would return to his life as a transgender person after his ordination period ended. He even planned to use money from his ordination ceremony to pay for breast implants. He believed he was only one away step from becoming a complete woman.
“I agreed to be ordained even though I wasn’t sure about it myself. I thought it was the right thing to do,” Numnow says.
As soon as he made the decision, Numnow sent invitations to everyone he knew at university. He began to prepare in February last year and was ordained a few weeks later, on April 7.
‘YOU ARE A FREAK’
Numnow stopped taking hormones in March last year. He went back to Phetchaburi and stopped seeing all of his ladyboy friends. He packed away his female clothing.
Two days before his ordination, Numnow decided to do something that broke his heart, yet opened the way for his new life. On April 5, Numnow cut his hair.
The last time he had seen himself with short hair was six years earlier. A neighbour complimented him: “You're so handsome.” It was a comment he had never heard before in his life.
As soon as Numnow stopped taking hormones, his facial and body hair started to grow back. He was surprised with what he saw on his body.
“I grew as a ladyboy from a very young age. I had no idea what it felt like to be a man. That was the first time in my life I experienced it,” he says.
Numnow finally shaved his head and became a monk. For the next 14 days, Numnow had to do all of the activities scheduled by senior monks, such as meditation, cleaning the stupa and cemetery, washing dead bodies before funerals and cleaning the temple area.
He said these types of tasks were something he would never have imagined doing before.
All of his experiences in the temple helped Numnow to see life differently. But that experience alone was not strong enough to persuade him to change his lifestyle.
“I remember the day that I left the monkhood. My grandmother, dad and mum came to the temple. The smiles I saw on their faces were priceless. It brought tears to my eyes and I realised I had made them very happy. I figured out if what I can make them happy, I would continue to keep it that way,” Numnow says.
As soon as he came out of the temple, his attitude towards life began changing. His father encouraged Numnow to maintain his masculine appearance.
“My dad asked me if I can remain looking like a man instead of a katoey. He told me he doesn’t care whether I want to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. All he wants is to see me as a man,” says Numnow.
It was the most difficult decision he has ever made. When he decided to be a monk, Numnow thought he could always go back to dressing as a woman. But now his father had asked him to completely change his lifestyle. In the end, he decided to remain in his male body, to make his father happy.
Numnow posted his photo appearing as a man on his Facebook page to let everyone know that he already left the monkhood. He normally received many compliments on the photos he shared on Facebook, but this time it was different.
“You are a freak”, “Now you really scare me” and “Are you crazy?” were just a few of the comments left by his friends, who did not understand what had happened to the Numnow, or the Jae Now they had known.
Numnow spent a whole month in Phetchaburi after leaving the monkhood trying to learn how to dress and act like a man. He only knew how to wear women’s clothing. He had never worn a pair of jeans or trainers before.
LIVING MORE SIMPLY
Numnow was scared by all of the comments he received and thought he’d made the wrong decision. But after a while, the negative comments turned to compliments.
Many people have supported him for what he is doing. Many shared his photo on their own Facebook pages and he became an internet idol overnight. A hundred "Likes" on his post quickly turned to 20,000.
Numnow returned to Bangkok in June last year and posted comparison pictures: from his first year at university, when he was living as a woman, up to the present day.
When asked if Numnow would dress like a woman again, he said he would never return to being a transgender person. “I'm happy with the way I am right now and I think life is less complicated. I don’t have to spend thousands of baht trying to prove to the world that I am beautiful any more,” he says.
“When I was a ladyboy, people usually stared at me. I know they stared at me because they were not sure if I was a woman or a ladyboy. I know they didn’t look because they admired me. But now people look at me in a different way. Many people look at me as a regular man,” he adds.
Numnow said even though he is no longer dressing like a woman, he is still attracted to men. His sexual preference may not have changed, but his appearance certainly has. University girlfriends who used to hang out with Numnow are now embarrassed to be around him because he is no longer transgender.
“I don't regret what I did in the past. I wouldn’t change anything in the past at all. I wanted to be a woman and I got to dress like one," Numnow says.
"Would I go back to dressing like a woman again? I would say no. I'm now very happy with my appearance.
"I'm still hanging out with the same group of gay and ladyboy friends. I'm still attracted to men, and I'm now feeling happy to live my life much more simply than before.”
Numnow has become famous on social media. People who he doesn’t know have started to notice him and say hello to him wherever he goes. The fame has strengthened his self-esteem.
But what matters most to him is the stronger relationship with his father.
“My dad had never touched me; he never showed me any affection until the day that I decided to be a monk. Now he calls me all the time, takes me out for dinner and has become involved with my life again," Numnow says.
“This is the first time in my life that I feel like I have a father.”
Rite of passage: Above and below, Numnow ordains as a monk, a move that would eventually lead him to leave behind his life as a transgender woman.
A fascinating story. Of course this is a one off, so generalizations do not always apply.
Another slippery slope? How many of you would have been interested in the before, and how about the after?
