24 replies to this topic

[Hard News]

Are Ladyboys forgiving ???

 

After putting in the hard yards over the last 12 months with the lady of my dreams, I foolishly played away from home on my recent visit to Phuket.

I confessed, knowing the I-Phone telegraph would catch my out sooner instead of later.

The relationship has gone a little frosty but we are still in conversation, however her use of the English language has become very colourful.

 

Please some advice from the members......how do I handle this one ??

Move on or hang on in there ??

[dixon cox]

Move on or hang on in there ??

 

The basic answer is "up to you", which means yes, if you want it, or let go if you don't.

 

Providing you have sufficient funds, or she believes you do, then the choice is yours. Farang choose their girlfriends in Thailand, not the other way around, so long as it's a girlfriend that you want.

 

Apart from being upset at the thought of her source of income and the hope of an easy life off your back being under threat she would also be pissed-off at you because you showed-her-up, or caused her to 'lost face' as the Thais put it. So now you need to do some repairs in the form of a little squirming and apologising which can all be accelerated by just spending some extra money on her in the way of treats and gifts, such as clothes, shoes and gold.

 

You haven't said whether you live in Thailand or not, so I'll assume you travel on holiday maybe a few times a year like most people. In the time when you are not in-country or with her what do you think she is doing? .. Most likely the same as you did but far more often.

 

A non-monogamous relationship with a Thai is par for the course and is something you have to both hide well (on your side) and expect to happen (on her side), especially if you spend long periods of time out of the Kingdom. Once you can learn to live with that fact your chances of a successful relationship are greatly improved, providing your funds can cope. Just don't make her lose face again or threaten her livelihood with your failure to be her one and only.

[Spyder Rocket]

I am a cynic when it comes to matters of love, forgiveness, and human behavior, so filter this accordingly.

Are Ladyboys forgiving ???

That's a general question, so, here is a general response. Ladyboys are about as forgiving as anyone else.

People forgive, but the seldom forget. Once you have wronged someone, they are much more likely to return the favor with gusto.

However, consider the other variables in your "relationship" for a moment. There are cultural differences, language barriers, physical distance, and the fact she is working as a prostitute (you didn't say, but I'm assuming that).

Consider what the implications of all those things mean and ask yourself, "How much could she possibly trust me in the first place?"

Also, how much should you trust her?

After putting in the hard yards over the last 12 months with the lady of my dreams, I foolishly played away from home on my recent visit to Phuket.
I confessed, knowing the I-Phone telegraph would catch my out sooner instead of later.
The relationship has gone a little frosty but we are still in conversation, however her use of the English language has become very colourful.?

Lady of your dreams? Are you sure about that?

I am one of those people who think that love is nothing more than a series of chemical reactions inside our brains. As a matter of fact, all of our thoughts and emotions are merely bio-chemical responses to outside stimuli.

Dreams? We all live in a dream world when it comes to love and emotion. Our lifespans are incredibly short when viewed in retrospect, and that means that what we perceive as love is a mere flash. Love or passion burn intense, but make no mistake, they are fleeting.

Please some advice from the members......how do I handle this one ??
Move on or hang on in there ??

You can waste a considerable chunk of your short time on this planet trying to repair something that didn't even exist in the first place.

Be kind and gentle to this girl, but move on. You'll most likely find another person to become enamored with.

[Moo Yung]

Cheating in Thailand isn't necessarily the relationship killer it can be in other countries, especially if you are dating someone you met on the bar scene (not sure if that is your case).

 

You just need to asses the damage and see if it's worth repairing.

 

Money seems to be the answer to so many problems in Thailand, between Thais and Tahi Vs Farang, which can be a good and bad thing, depending on your situation. It's a cold thought, but an iPhone 5 and a gold bracelet may be enough to reset her memory and get you back to where you were before the night of naughtiness. Just mentioning the idea to her should give you evidence as to whether such items can buy you love again. If, not then it's time to grovel and give her the puppy dog eyes.

[strobriand]

Cheating in Thailand isn't necessarily the relationship killer it can be in other countries, especially if you are dating someone you met on the bar scene (not sure if that is your case).

 

You just need to asses the damage and see if it's worth repairing.

 

Got caught out once with a hi-so educated girlfriend and I thought I was dead meat. In the end we came to a good compromise, because she could not live with me due to work comittments it was deemed ok to have other girlfriends as long as they were not from her province

 

Farang choose their girlfriends in Thailand, not the other way around, so long as it's a girlfriend that you w

 

In my experience in Thailand this is way wrong, although you might have a bit of advantage. educated, employed and higher up the social strata girls they can be quite picky.Maybe p4p scene  this is the case and with poor girls with Isaan but if they are qualifeid and working they get quite picky and if Thai husbands or farang to not play the game they can quite discerning

[jfrank]

Just move on! if she really likes you she will wait (ROTFL)

Are Ladyboys forgiving ???

 

After putting in the hard yards over the last 12 months with the lady of my dreams, I foolishly played away from home on my recent visit to Phuket.

I confessed, knowing the I-Phone telegraph would catch my out sooner instead of later.

The relationship has gone a little frosty but we are still in conversation, however her use of the English language has become very colourful.

 

Please some advice from the members......how do I handle this one ??

Move on or hang on in there ??

[Hard News]

I started this thread, so I thought I should give an update

Ok... I played away from home...I think the biggest mistake was admitting it.......lose of face !!!

I worked hard to mend the the situation, with daily emails but she was unforgiving !!

My next trip to LOS  ( Phuket) was during Songkran...She went home to Issan

What do I do....But parade some very sexy LB`s in front of her friends !!

Back home I`m still sending her messages !!

One Saturday night a little drunk....I pop  a serious question !!

All of a sudden from a person who was never going to leave LOS.....she was prepared to come and visit

So with the help of immigration lawyers.....we now have a visitor visa application in the system

To be honest i think it is at best 50/50

But I`m so glad I have made the commitment !!!

The question is ......will a bar girl....get a visa to visit me in New Zealand.....

[rxpharm]

Is she planning to get a tourist/visit visa as the first step? If she is, she needs to show that she has strong ties in Thailand and is not a flight risk for visiting New Zealand. I know a very successful lb who has succeeded in obtaining visas for countries in  Europe, North America, South America, Africa, Asia, etc. She did it this way: She opened a juice stand, she paid herself a good monthly salary from the juice stand business account, making it appear that she is a successful business owner. She owns a house, a condo, and a car in Thailand. This shows she has strong ties and will return to Thailand after visiting (x) country.

 

If your gf doesn't have strong ties, she needs to get them established before she visits, or it may be difficult for her to get the visa.

[Spyder Rocket]

I know nothing about New Zealand, but what rxpharm is saying lines up with my experience in having a Thai girl visit me in Japan. Even though she had previously been to Japan for training, and had a visa sponsored by a Japanese company, coming back on a tourist visa was a real hassle for her.

They wanted to see her bank records and a certain amount of money deposited in a savings account, I think it was the equivalent of 10K USD, but my memory is a bit hazy. The property ownership was something that helped, she got her grandmother to put a house in her name.

I'm sure you've been looking at the New Zealand Embassy website, if not, that is where you'll find the answers. It should contain their selection criteria somewhere on the site.

PS

Since you popped that serious question while a little drunk, does that mean you are hoping for it to get denied?

[Hard News]

I `m wanting it to happen for sure !!

 

But as you both have pointed out the sticking point is " Bonafide  visitor

Being Thai ....they can`t show any ties ....Assets .....employment contracts......lease agreements etc

I am hoping my sponsorship application will get her across the line !!

For gods sake there was a $10,000 pregenacy committement  I had to sign off......lol

[Spyder Rocket]

I `m wanting it to happen for sure !!
 
But as you both have pointed out the sticking point is " Bonafide  visitor
Being Thai ....they can`t show any ties ....Assets .....employment contracts......lease agreements etc
I am hoping my sponsorship application will get her across the line !!
For gods sake there was a $10,000 pregenacy committement  I had to sign off......lol

Do you mean being Thai, they can't show assets, or being poor?

Not trying to sound snarky with that question, but sincerely confused.

I'm glad to see that New Zealand's immigration policies are so progressive that they allow for male-to-female transexuals to get pregnant. Seriously, is that a bond to hold you accountable for the medical expenses, and do you have to put the money up front, or just show it on deposit? If so, I guess they would hold you accountable for any other medical bills as well, right?

At any rate, I hope you'll be happy with whatever happens.

Keep us in the loop, and good luck!

[Hard News]

In her case she has no assets such as a business, property etc, therefore in the eyes of NZ immigration she has no reason to return to Thailand.

I generalized a little this would not apply to all Thais

 

We did arrange a letter from her employer indicating she had been given time off and was expect to return to work at the end of Dec

Also a letter from her landlord confirming there was a long term tenancy agreement in place that she was committed too.  

 

 

As a sponsor I am responsible for any costs she may incur while in NZ such as medical expenses,(witch included a $9 k maternity bond), accommodation, and potential deportation costs if she overstays or breaks the conditions of a visitor visa. 

The maternity bond is not paid up front but I think I`m safe on that one !!!