72 replies to this topic

[George LBL]

It’s time that I made a contribution to this forum and tradition dictates that I begin a Trip Report with a quick recollection of my journey towards the Land of Smiles. Well, if I was a slave to tradition then I’d probably be married to a wonderful but unadventurous lady, enjoying carbon-neutral family holidays in Europe and ensuring that my internet surfing history was deleted on an hourly basis. Thankfully I’m not a traditional sort of guy, never have been and hopefully never will be.

So breaking with tradition, I’ll begin the Report before the Trip. As a new member to this forum, please allow me to take the briefest of moments to introduce myself properly. I’m 46 years of age and reside in England, my name is George and ever since my first visit to Thailand back in 1986, I’ve been head over heels in love with the Land of Smiles and all of its blissful charms. Despite several near Mrs, I’m not married and so Mildred is clearly not my wife. Mildred is in fact my trusty suitcase, a travelling companion for many years and the keeper of my various bedroom secrets. I suspect that while I’m testing the durability of different hotel beds, it will be down to Mildred to report back to this forum on the various performances. Mildred's camera skills are not fantastic, but hopefully they'll be good enough to allow others to at least share in a little of the joy. Hopefully she’ll be honest in her assessments and given the fact that she’ll be the only person in any of the rooms without a throbbing penis, I suspect that she’ll be far more objective than any of the performers.

I’m flying with Etihad Airways and will arrive in Bangkok on the evening of Friday 4th of December. Because of my late arrival, I’ve decided to stay for the first couple of nights in Central Mongerville at the Dynasty Inn on Soi4. I haven’t stayed at this particular hotel before but when time is such a limited commodity, I’d hate to waste any of it wandering between bar and bed, and bar and bed, and bar and bed. The £240 for a return ticket had come as a very pleasant surprise, but the £201 in taxes had not. Hell, for £441 I’m being delivered to the utopian Land of Ladyboys, so who am I to complain? Aside from paying for Bar Fines and Gratuities, it’s probably the best £441 that any man could ever spend. In fact it’s not even ‘Spending’ and I see it as more of an ‘Investment’ in my continued sanity. I’m not sure that the Inland Revenue will see it quite so clearly, but once they’ve seen the photographs then I’m sure they’ll understand my point of view. As a self-employed artisan with limited skills and a penchant for extreme idleness, this brief journey will undoubtedly redefine the term ‘Budget Holiday’. This will be my 5th visit to Thailand this year and due to seemingly unavoidable personal commitments in the North, my mongering moments with the finest sex will probably be as limited as my budget. It means that things will be tight, but then 'tight' is not always a diasagreeable thing.

My plan as always is that I don’t actually have one, I’ll just go with the flow .... ‘mai pen rai’. Assuming that Red, Yellow or Blue shirted protesters have not once again prevented my smooth arrival at Suvarnabhumi Airport, I’ll check-in at the hotel and then saunter across Soi 4 to Guess Bar and enjoy a refreshing late evening beverage in the company of Beer. Beer of course will be her beautiful charming self. She’ll make me laugh and insist that one day I will pay her bar fine and introduce her to Mildred back at the room. It will be nice to see the girls in their new uniforms and I just hope that Beer will understand if my eyes are inadvertently drawn to the wonderfully cute looking Ant. I’ve never bar fined a girl from Guess Bar and quite possibly, I never will. Perhaps it’s the Englishman in me but I just see the wonderful girls at Guess Bar as being different to all of the other wonderful offerings across the road in Nana Plaza. I am by nature a butterfly and it’s nice to have at least one bar where I have no ‘History’ that could change an otherwise almost perfect atmosphere. Maybe on this visit that will change, but we’ll see .... ‘mai pen rai’.
Thank you .... George

[dixon cox]

How refreshing to read a post written with such eloquence and grammatical correctness, it allows what's in your mind to flow so easily into mine, thank you.

Your style and presentation has all the hallmarks of a professionally written piece, a total breath of fresh air. This is beautifully put together George and I'm eagerly looking forward to reading more of your adventures.

Better throw in a few cock or upskirt pics too, if you can... just to keep the others happy

[khunjohn]

How do you suppose the King's birthday on Dec 5th will affect the entertainment venues? It's right after you arrive so I hope that you don't lose a day of fun at Nana.
(I"m also heading back to Thailand this next weekend so I'm wondering about this for my own visit as well).

[George LBL]

Thanks for the kind words DC and yes, photographs will be posted, but perhaps not up to 'Snappers' high standards.

If 'Entertainment' is curtailed due to the King's birthday, then that will just present an opportunity for seeking out alternative distractions. I've been in LOS for King and Queen's birthdays and don't seem to remember any loss of entertainment. I do remember bars being closed once but I think that it might have been for an election. Perhaps the more permanent LOS dwellers will know more.

Thank you ... George

[onetruesaxon]

I’ll check-in at the hotel and then saunter across Soi 4 to Guess Bar

I will be in Guess Bar myself, more than likely on the pool table. Playing pool I mean.

[George LBL]

Mildred is ready and all set to go. I think I've packed the essentials. Three more days until take-off and it feels like I'm waiting for Christmas, but much much better.

Thank you OneTrueSaxon, I'll drop intoGuess Bar upon arrival, circa 9pm Friday 4th December.

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[petesie]

Well written stuff this, should be a corker of a report........!

[scottiej23]

Indeed, love the writing style and that picture of all of your hunting equipment is very clever.

Looking forward to hearing and seeing all details when you get your hands dirty!

[George LBL]

2. George and Mildred in LOS - December 2009

Well, just let me say that there’s nothing particularly ‘quick’ about travelling from London to Bangkok via Abu Dhabi. Patience is a virtue, but virtue is the first thing that I leave at home when I’m visiting Thailand. Airport to Airport it only takes 15 hours, but it always feels like the longest 15 hours of my life. I didn’t sleep on the flight but I seldom do, anticipation is like Red Bull with extra caffeine and there will be ample time to sleep once I’m safely at home in Dullsville UK. My Christmas begins now, I’m young once more and far too excited to rest.

At Suvarnabhumi Airport, I’m through immigration in short-time and Mildred arrives unscathed and raring to go. Passed immigration and it’s the same old story as endless lines of smiling taxi touts do their absolute best to remind that I’m back in Asia. ‘Mai-au kap’, it’s the public taxi rank for me. ‘Sukhumvit Soi 4, I’ll pay the tolls, you turn on the metre and don’t spare the horses’. The forty minute taxi journey takes two hours on this Friday evening but gives me time to relax and consider the joys ahead of me. Why or why do the clothing mongers of Thailand think that a nice new suit will increase my chances of getting laid at 2 o’clock in the morning? When they approach me I’m usually walking along Sukhumvit or Beach Road, a gorgeous Ladyboy on my arm with loins filled with lust and a pocket full of Kamagra. I’d say that even to the most casual of observers, my chances of getting laid were a nailed-on certainty and I doubt that my sartorial elegance would have any great influence on the glorious outcome. Over the years I’ve had several suits made for me in Thailand and without exception they’ve been damned fine garments, but there’s a time a place people, a time and a place. The taxi driver apologises for the delay as if it’s his fault and I can only laugh. I just love Thailand and its wonderful people.

After an almost drama-free check-in at Dynasty Inn, I find my wardrobe on the 6th floor and wonder where they’ve hidden the room that’s supposed to be attached to it. It’s not the biggest room that I’ve ever inhabited, but how much space could one possibly need? A double bed, a window, a bathroom and I’m sorted. Time is pressing so a quick shower, a change of clothes and with no great desire to unpack Mildred, I’m good to go. Across the road in Guess Bar, three guy’s –possibly BM’s – are deep in conversation while the beautiful Ant, all luscious and lovely in her Friday-night uniform of virginal white, delivers their drinks with come to bed eyes and the most winning of smiles. Sitting on the outside rail, I settle in next to Gigi, who of course is from Isan. Gigi informs me that Beer is in Singapore – good girl, ‘chok dee Beer’ – and that if I pay her Bar Fine, I’ll be a very happy man indeed. I’m sure that Gigi is quite right, but it’s only 9:30pm and the pleasures of Nana Plaza are calling me to monger.

Across the road in Nana Plaza, I head straight for Obsessions and it appears to be quite busy. Obsessions’ always looks busy but aside from two smiling Japanese gentlemen and two hopeful looking Farang, it’s actually quite quiet. ‘’You are George?’’. It’s the beautiful ‘Aum 79’ and like all ladyboys, she has an amazing memory for detail. Oh the joys of youth. She snuggles in beside me and we laugh about the happy times spent in each other’s company. She thanks me for looking after her when she’d been ill and apologises that the third member of our little three-some, the beautiful slim and giggling Bee, has just left with a special customer for a long-time tryst. My mind kolts back to the times we shared together and I have to say, there is a touch of regret that Bee will not be available to join us, but ‘’good luck Bee’’ and may your tryst be a joyous one. It’s still too early in the evening for marriage and I promise that I’ll call back into Obsessions for a night-cap and leave the beautiful Aum behind me.

Upstairs, I call into Carnival and it’s a stark contrast to the bustle of Obsessions. The bull is rider less, the girls stand on the podium looking disinterested with the world and I’m the only paying customer in the room. I order a beer and playfully tease the line of adorable beauties that flirt before me. A girl catches my eye and without delay, the snuggling commences. Her name I think is Biez, and she has short bobbed hair, a glittering brace filled smile, not an ounce of silicone and the funkiest pair of lens-less white glasses east of Sukhumvit Road. Her English is quite limited and she’s fresher than the milk in my local supermarket. She’s cuter than the cutest thing but after four beers and precious little sleep, I need something a little racier to keep my interest boiling.

I bid farewell to Biez and pop down to Sexy Night on a minor mission of mercy before climbing the stairs once again to Cascades. I like Cascades, it’s like the McDonalds of Mongering because you kind of always know what you’re going to get. I’m quickly sipping a cold one and forming a George sandwich between Dee and May. In very quick time, their flagpoles are out and showing great interest in the possibilities of fun times to come. It’s very tempting to accept their kind offer of a threesome but Dee’s organ looks as if it was specifically designed to play only in the largest of cathedrals. After three months of non-indulgence, I worry that my little chapel of love might be somewhat overwhelmed by her beautiful music and with a tinge of regret, I bid them farewell for now.

I float my wicked way back downstairs to Obsessions to find that Aum has been waiting for me. Even though no other customer has crossed the bar’s threshold during my absence, she has been waiting only for me and she makes me feel special. What a good girl you are. Aum has been away from NEP for the last two months and is feeling a little on the horny side. The story is the same as before, but I feel obliged to help the poor little girl with her sexual frustration and the Bar Fine is duly paid. We skip hand in hand along the walk of fame and slide smoothly into my room at Dynasty Inn. Maybe this time Aum really had been away from the scene for two months because she was amazingly keen to reintroduce herself to Little George. In fact, after showering and initial photographs, Little George spent more than an hour exploring every part of Aum’s beautiful anatomy. And might I say, what an amazingly joyous and beautiful anatomy Aum has to enjoy .......

To be Continued ...... George

[George LBL]

Hello Teerak .... Hi Aum :-)

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[pacman]

George, may I return the compliment... I am enjoying your TR tremendously, you are the Emperor of the Euphemism, the Master of the Metaphor...

It makes a nice change from "I checked bin, paid bar & banged her all night long". One thing though, shouldn't Cascades be the Maxims of Mongering for its consistently high quality merchandise? McDonalds does suggest a low common denominator of LB, something you might find in Soi 23 or similar.

Anyway, it's a moot point, please continue.