Day 7
Had another girl over:
She was vietnamese, 20 years old and very beautiful. Spoke great english. Great skin, great hair. Right after she came through the door, she wanted to negotiate more money for the taxi. We then got on the bed, she didn’t want to suck without condom. She was so sexy though, that I got hard just sticking my face in her ass.
We started having sex, but I could tell that it was hurting her, and when I looked at my bedsheets, there was blood on them. I pulled my condom out, and it was red. She apologized and said she was new to this, has just been in Thailand and the business for a month.
I couldn’t keep fucking her when her ass is bleeding and she is clearly not into it. She was talkative and clever, so we ended up talking for an hour, about what it’s like as a transgender escort here, why she’s doing it, how she isn’t really happy with doing it but feels like she has no other choice. We talked about what she’d like to do about her life and her religious beliefs. She was really nice and smart and totally not a good fit for this business.
We had a nice talk, but it broke my immersion into the sex fantasy I’ve been trying to live.
So I’ve banged all the escorts I planned on banging, I can’t see myself in that Nana environment, I can't find anyone else online that I'm excited about banging, and now I met one that I actually connected with as a person.
I think these experiences are life trying to tell me that it’s time to move on this lifestyle. It was fun, and no disrespect to guys that do this all the time, but I think I’ve learned what I was supposed to learn from this and have too much empathy to keep doing it.