Surviving Your First Time in a Ladyboy Go-Go

Go-go bars can be daunting places if you've never been in one. Couple that with the fact that you're in a foreign country – maybe even for the first time – and going into a ladyboy bar for the first time, and well, it's enough to make the bravest man a little nervous and sweaty.

Not to mention there is probably going to be a high-pressure sales pitch from a bevy of beauties from the minute you walk into the place; it's like bloody chum to sharks. They will be circling. They can smell new blood the minute a noob walks in the door. After all, this is their job.

Even if you are a veteran of go-go bars in Thailand, some guys are nervous about walking into a ladyboy a-go-go, for the simple fact that they are new to the world of ladyboys. Will it be the same experience?

While go-gos vary from place to place, just like any other kind of bar, if you've been in go-gos before, then the experience in a ladyboy go-go bar won't be considerably difference (well, aside from the obvious difference, but if you're here reading this, we'll assume you've already got that figured out).

If you've never been in a go-go in Thailand before, not to worry; there are a few simple rules to follow and methods to employ that will help you keep your head above water and keep you – and your baht – out of the sharks' mouths.

First off, as a general rule, if you're new to the scene in general and Thai ladyboy go-go bars in particular, it should go without saying that walking into one your first time while falling down drunk is probably not a good idea. Sure, maybe a drink or two before hand will be nice to help you relax and get your courage up, but keep a lid on it; this should go without saying.

Second of all, again, as a general rule, remember you are the boss. Ultimately, you are in control of the situation (provided you've observed the preceding rule). That doesn't mean you should adopt a confrontational attitude; as you've no doubt read elsewhere, confrontation doesn't work well in Thailand. Losing one's cool is a big loss of face.

Face is a topic in and of itself, and beyond the scope of this article; let it suffice to say from those of us that have lived here awhile: getting angry in the face of a problem will seldom get you anywhere in Thailand. Just be polite, always smile – but don't be afraid to say no and don't be afraid to be firm. Again, just do it with a smile.



Make the Mamasan Your Friend

Okay, so those general rules are common sense, and you'd like some practical advice. You know you're going to get bombarded with the hard sell – "I come sit with you? You buy me drink? I wan' go wit' you!" – and know how to politely but firmly decline all these offers on the way to your seat.

What else will get you through your first-time in a ladyboy go-go relatively unscathed and out of the bar with Mrs. Right (Now) in tow?

The most obvious thing is to go in with a friend/wingman; there is safety in numbers, and all that. Particularly if the friend/wingman is a veteran; many guys who are experienced in this scene are happy to help guys that are new to it; check the forum and see who might be about and interested in having a drink with you when you hit the go-go that first time.



But what if you prefer to fly solo or no one is about that particular night?

Well one strategy that's worked well for many go-go veterans is befriend the mamasan. The mamasan is the bar manger; she's the one the girls have to answer to if there is a problem. Walk into the bar, ask a service girl if you can see the mamasan. When she comes over, ask her if you can buy her a drink and if she'll sit with you for a moment. Tell her this is your first time visiting this particular bar and you'd like her advice on the girls and proceed to tell her what you're looking for.

Not only will this help you narrow down your choice – and keep in mind in a place like Nana Plaza's Cascades in Bangkok, there may be 60 some ladyboys milling about the place – but the hard sell from the girls will dry up like that. They see you sitting and chatting with the mamasan – naturally they don't want to do anything that might not look good in front of the boss lady. They might even conclude you are an acquaintance of hers, and therefore not some noob tourist easily separated with his baht.

Even after you've become a regular, it pays dividends to befriend the mamasan in your favorite go-gos. Generally mamasans are pretty shrewd, and will want to insure that you have a good time and become a repeat customer. This won't always be the case – we can think of a few exceptions – but more often than not, they won't steer you wrong.

A variation on this technique comes in handy once you've been in a go-go once or twice. Call a girl you know to sit with you; this will ease up on the hard sell pressure from the other girls (except the hopeful ladies that will ask you if you're interested in two friends for the evening). Buy her a drink and be up front – but polite – that you're interested in going with someone else tonight but that you wanted to buy her a drink and say hi.

Most girls will be okay with this, and may even suggest friends of theirs, or warn you about girls that have had problems with customers in the past. But be smart and use your judgment; some girls may be unhappy with this; a few may even cause a scene if they're under the influence. Of course, even if the girl is cool with this, you should tip her for her time, on top of buying her a drink.



Last But Not Least

Remember, too, that your reputation will precede you. The girls who work in go-go bars have memories like elephants (it's beneficial to their job, after all) and they have a pretty tight network among their colleagues. Always conduct yourself like gentleman and treat the ladies well; word will soon get around and generally you'll get treated in kind.

Cause problems and act like an asshole, and you'll get an equivalent reputation quickly that will be hard to get rid of.

Of course the converse is also true; don't let people take advantage of you. Always be polite, be firm, keep your wits about you and don't be afraid to say no (albeit with a smile). Having a reputation as a nice guy who nevertheless keeps his wits about him and doesn't put up with shit will make future visits to the go-gos much easier.

For more information and the latest gossip on ladyboy gogo bars in Thailand head to the bar section of our forum - Ladyboy Bars

Written by: Ladyboy Lust