50 replies to this topic

[AdventureDude]

I wonder if anyone else has the same problem I have. I have many very good friends in Bangkok. There is only one problem with them. They are totally homophobic and "ladyboyphobic". Meaning they can't stand ladyboy or gay man. I am bi. I usually have gf when in Thailand, but also very much enjoy going with ladyboy. My problem is going to the LB bars in Nana and in the Sukhumvit area in general. My friends like to go to the female girl bars and I have often accompanied them. Many of the girls in those bars know me by sight and several by name. So if I go to LB bars, my friends can easily find out when they see me go in or come out. We all know how TGs gossip.... Yes, I can go to KC3 in Patpong or go to Pattaya or Phuket, but I think the Nana LBs are quite nice.

Any suggestions other than drop my friends, have them drop me, or get phone numbers and have girls just come to my hotel?

Anyone else with same problem??

[singdick]

Understand how you feel. :? Was just in BKK and my friend doesn't put sitting in ladyboy bars as highly. So had to settle for quick visits in Nana along with visits to regular girl bars.

[pure]

live real dont live fake
tell your friends what you like and if they leave you then they really were not your friends to begin with

[Simon442]

pure

thats true to a certain extent, but for those of us who live and work here discretion is sometimes needed. It could cause problems at work. It shouldn't be that way, but unfortunately it is.

I also believe that a lot of these homophobic/ladyboyphobic guys who talk the loudest about how disgusting they are are also the guys sneaking around Suk Rd late at night looking for a quick short time romp. They are also the guys who will claim they didnt realise she was a ladyboy and that when they found out they kicked her out. Yeah right. AdventureDude I guarantee that one or two of your mates will have been with a LB before. If you are truly comfortable in your heterosexuality then you would not need to start disrespecting alternative lifestyles.

Personally I dont broadcast that I go with LBs but I certainly wouldn't deny it if asked outright, and I always defend them when some idiot starts mouthing off.

[ladyboyh]

AdventureDude, it took long till I told all my friends and my family that I like ladyboys..I even spent some time in Phuket with my Ex LB GF and my mom...it was funny at most. I believe that my patent not match you or others, but try to release your sexuality as much as possible, otherwise it will chase and destroy you. And tell your ladyboyphobic friends to step off !!!

[Surin Nix]

It brings home, in an unexpected way, the term "in the closet". That term used to be the exclusive domain of gay men.

I'd lived my life as a heterosexual man for 50 years. Children.....long marriage.

The fact is, I had my first LB experience last year. Since then, 4 more. Mostly, great experiences.

I wish I was one who could inwardly say "fuck 'ya if you don't understand me". But as we all know, that's easier said than done.

I don't expect understanding from homophobic/LBphobic friends. They aer still my friends, but they don't need to know. I know about that weird desire to "tell somebody". Perhaps you can find an understanding friend in the midst of your existing friends.

But if you cannot risk it, THIS is the place to find someone who understands. Someone who has been there, and who understands completely. Most of us, to different degrees, have histories of considering ourselves "straight". Most of us probably still do (as for me, I like LB's. I still like gg's too. Dating one in my homeland).

So, don't worry about what they think. Nobody can read your mind (But, doesn't it seem like they can?". Instead, find someone here you can relate to and strike up a conversation. My best confidants are my friends "Batman" (who i've met and partied with in Pattaya), and Dixon Cox....who i have never met, but whose commentary and advice i always enjoy. You won't relate to everybody, but explore the site......someone's post will resonate with you.

Say hello.

[Baron von Bangkok]

I live and work here and i understand exactly where you're coming from. When i moved out here i naively expected the locals to be completely fine with their widespread third gender and homosexuality in general. However i experienced a lot of homophobia within the workplace, gay people and ladyboys seem to be seen as a joke (see Thai tv)
I have noticed a similar attitude within the expat community. However most straight guys i know will admit that they find ladyboys attractive.
After some thought i decided to keep my sexual orientation a secret. Everyone at my workplace knew i had a girlfriend but nobody met her or even saw a photo. I carried on with this charade for about 18 months until it became clear that another co worker had the same interests. I have over the last month told the people closest to me. It really is quite liberating and you'll find that most people really don't give a shit, obviously some will be quite intrigued and you'll get the usual questions (post/pre op, do you take it etc)
You may even find that people you have known for years have been hiding it too.
Having said this i have no plans to tell any of the thai staff, they gossip like no other. Within a day the whole company will know and you may find yourself out of work.

[RobiSLO]

At home I'm 100% straight – as if being with ladyboy makes you gay, personally all my LBs told me they don’t like gay so…go and figure it out. All my good friends know I'm 100% into ladyboys when in Thailand so I have no problem with that I just don’t tell around to family, mostly due to respect to my GG who is not to blame I like what I like and don’t deserve to be labeled negatively.

But when I’m in Thailand I’m 100% into ladyboys and never hide anything. I know quite a few expats in Thailand and I tell straight to everyone I’m into ladyboys and hell will freeze before I touch any GG, never did and never will. I don’t know what is the problem being with ladyboy here in Thailand and admit it. After all who the f… are expats to judge Thai ladyboy or even think they are any better… They are merely guests in Thailand who can be asked politely or not to leave kingdom at any given time so they must act this way. I also post on other expat forum and have no problem publishing what I like and with who I like to be and if anyone has problem with this… up to him.

BR

[Ivor Biggun]

I always find it funny that I'm comfortable in the LB bars but hate seeing gay thai guys 'fagotting' down the street with their coiffed western boyfriends. I can handle LBs being over the top but some mincing shreiking high pitched voiced man really grips my shit (not that he's getting near me!)

I'd never consider going up Soi Paradise (in more way than one) funny that I'm homophobic but not LBphobic- go figure.

[FRONT242]

I follow the army's policy...

Dont ask and dont tell.

I have to keep everything discreet as I am working here.
Actually come to think about it, the ppl in the industry would be more accepting if I was gay, as in liking guys then liking LBs...weird eh.