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Surviving a long distance relationshipdating advice relationships
On your recent trip to Thailand you fell head over heels in love with the ladyboy of your dreams, who you happened to meet in a small beer bar. You spent your finals days together at the beach, going to the movies, dancing in the discos, and sleeping together every night. She even took you to meet her sister and some of her family but now your trip is almost over and reality is sinking in; you must go back home to your job and responsibilities and at best you’ll be back to Thailand again in 6-12 months (which seems a lifetime away).
You felt 18 and in love again, she is the one, you would do anything not to lose her, you must find a way to make this relationship work even though you’ll be miles apart..
A time and a place
For a single male with an attraction to ladyboys, Thailand is like nowhere else on this earth. Ladyboy lovers who are lucky enough to have a holiday in Thailand (while single at least), often experience a level of social and sexual freedom that they’ve probably never experienced before, it can obviously be quite enlightening. Leaving such a fulfilling and enjoyable experience is obviously going to be somewhat painful, and in some cases it will be life changing experience, giving someone a totally new outlook on life back home and future ambitions.
Leaving Thailand and your new ladyboy love is bound to be an emotional time. You really don’t want this to be a holiday romance, you feel in love and the happiest you’ve been for years, maybe ever, but a holiday romance is often largely down to a time and a place, and unless you really despise Thailand and long to be back to your ‘normal’ life, how much of this emotion is down the experience you’ve had as a whole? How much of it is a result of your new found freedom? Or your sexual awakening? How much of this ‘love’ is real?
During this emotional time it’s very hard to heed the rational advice of others, but if you’re going to make any long distance relationship work you’re going to need to keep your head and make some sensible choices. That means not making big decisions or promises when you’re feeling emotional. When your holiday ends try to keep cool and positive and let the dust settle before you make any big plans. In about 2 or 3 weeks when you’re back home and in routine you’ll see things much clearer.
No money no honey?
So.. 1 month in and you’re still madly in love. You’ve been talking to your new ladyboy girlfriend several times a day. You’re working hard at your job, taking all the overtime you can get, and you’ve already penciled in your next trip to Thailand in 6 months time, but you’re worried she’ll leave you if she still works in the bar or you are away too long. You’re under pressure to send her money..
If you’re lucky you’ve either fallen in love with a ladyboy who is financially secure or you’re so open minded you can live with the fact she will continue to meet customers and earn a living her way. However, in many cases there comes a decision to make, one that pits your emotions against your finances.. Should you send your ladyboy girlfriend money? Whether that be so that she doesn’t have to work in her bar, or simply to make her life more comfortable until you meet again.
I’m not one of those guys who rolls his eyes every time he learns a friend is sending money to a ladyboy or bar girl. As far as I’m concerned it’s your money and you are free to spend it how you best see fit. However, I do hate to see guys sending money and causing themselves financial problems in an attempt to keep emotional problems at bay. This never works and they almost always end up broke and even more upset.
The basic rule should be, only give what you can comfortably afford to lose. If you really want to send a ladyboy money so that you can be together your first priority should be to pay your bills and make sure your family and home life is all working as normal. You then need to start saving for your next trip to Thailand. If you’re not prioritizing those financial burdens then you won’t be meeting again any time soon. After that, if you have a comfortable life at home and money to burn, then why not share a bit of your wealth, just don’t expect your money to buy you faith, loyalty or love.
Enjoy the journey
Once you get over the money hurdle the next issue will be trust. Maybe you’re now a few months into your relationship and things are going OK. You miss her and talk regularly, but there’s always that doubt in the back of your mind that she’s not being faithful.
Whether or not your ladyboy girlfriend is cheating on you is another matter, the onus is on you to take control of your emotions and not let your imagination run wild. Trust will always be an issue in a long distance relationship, even more so when you meet your lover in such a promiscuous environment, but if you’re going to feel down or get crazy every time you’re girlfriend doesn’t answer her phone then things will soon go down a very dark path.
Just as with the financial dilemma, be careful how much you invest yourself emotionally. This is not to say act cold and don’t care about your girlfriend, but certainly don’t build your future around one person you still know little about. Instead concentrate on building a better future which will not crumble before your eyes if she leaves you.
There’s no riding off into the sunset
I’ve seen several examples when guys are in love with a Thai ladyboy, sending her money and declaring their love to her daily, if not by the hour, counting down the days until they go back to Thailand. The day finally comes around for them to head back to Thailand and suddenly they feel different. As soon as they are back in Thailand and surrounded by ladyboys and that sense of sexual freedom, their head starts to turn at every long legged ladyboy who gives them a cheeky smile. Despite all those months of faithfulness and promises of a future together, once back in the land of hot ladyboys they are starting to get the ‘itch’, and in some cases within a few days of being back they’ve already given in to temptation..
A friend and ladyboy lover once said to me, ‘just enjoy the ride. There’s no riding off into the sunset when you like ladyboys.’ What he meant was, there’s no happy ending. You just can’t meet a ladyboy, fall in love, get married and build a life together, it doesn’t happen. You see guys and ladyboys dating all the time, and it never works, he’d always be the first to remind that to anyone starting to date a ladyboy. That was until he met his current wife, a Filipina ladyboy whom he took back to the UK to live with. They are now married and have built a life together.
Feel free to share your stories regarding long distance relationships with transgendered girls. We'd especially love to hear success stories and words of encouragement.
Written by: Moo Yung
For dating ladyboys in Thailand we recommend joining Thai Friendly which has hundreds of local ladyboys listed.
For dating ladyboys globally we recommend joining My Ladyboy Date which has attractive ladyboys in many Asian and Western countries.
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