Religion hang over

How many other guys are victims of their religious up bringing ? It was drilled into me in my youth and young adulthood that the price of wickedness is hell fire ! I didn't recognize this to be total bull shit until my 30's but some of that guilt and hesitation remains. It clouds all my experiences. It makes me feel like I'm being watched. I talked to a shrink about it and his response was that it is a beneficial response from a "goodly conscience "
How am I able to free myself from this Pavlovian dog response ?

You need to expunge those thoughts - as long as you are not causing harm to someone else, you just need to put it out of your mind and realize no one is watching you. The more experiences you have that you enjoy yourself, and forget about those thoughts, the sooner you will be able to shake free from your past.

At the end of our lifetimes we all become worm-fodder, regardless of how good or bad we were.

 

Talk of the soul (or whatever) residing in a higher place afterwards is total tripe. Even more insulting tripe is the suggestion that some greater power is waiting there to judge you.

 

All the while someone alive remembers you after your death you still remain alive in the minds of others. Once the last person who remembered you has also passed it's all over, unless you made an indelible mark on the world.

 

Dispose of any thoughts that someone may be 'watching you'. The sooner you can do that the faster you will feel liberated and enjoy your remaining time on earth.

At the end of our lifetimes we all become worm-fodder, regardless of how good or bad we were.

 

Talk of the soul (or whatever) residing in a higher place afterwards is total tripe. Even more insulting tripe is the suggestion that some greater power is waiting there to judge you.

 

All the while someone alive remembers you after your death you still remain alive in the minds of others. Once the last person who remembered you has also passed it's all over, unless you made an indelible mark on the world.

 

Dispose of any thoughts that someone may be 'watching you'. The sooner you can do that the faster you will feel liberated and enjoy your remaining time on earth.

 

AMEN 

It is easier said than done. However, I am determined to benefit and enjoy my life experiences.  If my super religious acquaintances new of my actions overseas, they would flay me alive !  I wonder how good two shoes they really are outside of the watchful eyes of their religious establishments ?  (note: all religion is equally dangerous and worthless)

IMHO, you'd rather deal with the subject with a psychologist or a psychiatrist. It's not easy and you will need time to find the one you need to help you without taking advantage on you. Anyway, I am not sure that a monger forum is the right place to expose your wounds. You might attract sharks and wolfs to bite you. 

How many other guys are victims of their religious up bringing ? It was drilled into me in my youth and young adulthood that the price of wickedness is hell fire ! I didn't recognize this to be total bull shit until my 30's but some of that guilt and hesitation remains. It clouds all my experiences. It makes me feel like I'm being watched. I talked to a shrink about it and his response was that it is a beneficial response from a "goodly conscience "
How am I able to free myself from this Pavlovian dog response ?

 

Your unreasonable sense of guilt stems from an erroneous understanding of human behavior influenced by the toxic moralism of Anglo-Saxon culture. People do not choose "vice" and "sin" out of a lack of moral values or moral education. People simply follow their own nature and act out their internal desires. Once one understands that people cannot choose their sexual desires and are simply driven by their own individual nature, all notions of sin and guilt become meaningless.

 

For many millennia there was no taboo associated with homosexuality and transsexualism. The ancients slept with whomever they wanted and did not condemn sexual practices among men and transsexuals. There was no concept of sin in the Pagan cultures of antiquity. It was only with the unfortunate advent of the miserable slave religion of Christianity that sexuality-and especially homosexuality-began to be condemned as something dirty and shameful. The fact that such hostility towards sexuality has only existed for a few thousand years shows that such attitudes were only introduced by tyrants in order to control people's minds through psychological guilt and tactics of shaming.

 

The Christian view of morality and sin is utterly absurd. Everything is completely backward. Religious fundamentalists are so preoccupied with other people having sex and hellbent to condemn all forms of "sexual immorality" but they have no problem with their psychopathic god demanding gruesome sacrifices of living beings and ordering countless merciless massacres of non-Israelites and will condone such violent acts with a straight face as simply the will of their bloodthirsty deity who is also "fair" and "loves" humanity. Religious fundamentalists are outraged by people enjoying sexuality-especially with people such as ladyboys-but they turn a blind eye to real evils such as extreme violence, tyranny, genocide and injustice. Their priorities are so misplaced.

 

 

It is easier said than done. However, I am determined to benefit and enjoy my life experiences.  If my super religious acquaintances new of my actions overseas, they would flay me alive !  I wonder how good two shoes they really are outside of the watchful eyes of their religious establishments ?  (note: all religion is equally dangerous and worthless)

 

I was a member of some churches for a few years before I realized that the faith was simply a slave religion of fear and control. The people there often wore a mask of sanctity in public and preached their moralistic values to everybody who would listen, but out of the church environment many of them would backbite other members and sleep around and have countless affairs. Of course, if exposed, they would rationalize their behavior as heterosexual sex and make unending excuses as to why their actions are okay. They would totally flip out over homosexual sex and ladyboys. Most Christians are total hypocrites. Most of the time their religious lifestyle is just for show.

 

I was quite fortunate. I began to see through the bullshit doctrines of Christian religion and also the absurd moralism of society from quite an early age. When I was still trapped in the cult, I had it mentalized that my love for transsexuals was just a phase and would go away upon marrying a beautiful traditional wife, but fortunately I got out in my early 20s unmarried and without traditional commitments and free to pursue love with beautiful ladyboys in accordance with my own spiritual nature.

Lol. Imagine. If there's hell. All the booze, drugs and hoes will be there. Good place for me. I won't enjoy heaven with all the Saints talking holy shit shit all day. And if there's a devil he probably won't mind having me there and find me a comfortable place with all the shit I need. Just don't overdo and you will be fine.

Luckily I do not suffer from this particular ailment.
If it makes you feel better follow this line of thought....
You are in Thailand.
Thailand is a Buddhist country.
In Buddhism there is particular prohibition against homosexuality.
Also in Buddhism, nothing is permanent.
That can be interpreted as, things change. One of those things is sexuality.
Put it together and there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. At least not in Thailand.