You mentioned therapy earlier. What does your therapist have to say about this?
lol - he says that i should be true to myself, which isn't easy. Well, to be more precise - i'm not making it easy for him. He's the one who encouraged me to seek out an experience as the only way to gain clarity. I was with another female therapist for a year and i didn't pursue this, although she did encourage me to. I just couldn't meet anyone. I coincidentally found a ladyboy close by when i switched therapists. My previous therapist encouraged me to explore my sexiality so i visited a gay bathhouse. Meh. Not for me to be honest. I haven't actually seen my therapist since the sexual encounter. We meet this friday.
I wouldn't get married if I were you. It sounds like you've got issues to resolve, be they sexual issues, or commitment phobias, you'd better straighten them out, or put a good divorce lawyer on speed dial.
Yes i agree with this sentiment. And this is really the crux of it. I hated being single and enjoy companionship. I also don't like upsetting other people. The thoughts of breaking up with my partner honestly makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I believe it will hurt her beyond belief. I'm her first boyfriend and she is so in love with me. And i am also with her. I probably won't ever get that kind of love from a ladyboy....But the thoughs of marriage don't excite me one little bit..
On the subject of aversion, that's a curious problem. Have you ever thought that you're attracted to aversion?
I think that i have a tendency to self doubt. Regarding me being disgusted by the cock after cumming - i can't explain it. I'm not disgusted by my female partner after coming with her. Although i must add that although i was disgusted by my ladyboy partners cock after cumming i still went hard and fucked her a second time. I woke up in the morning and said to myself that there is no way would i go near her again but my evil cock had other thoughts and i banged her again and found it thoroughly enjoyable. I came in about 2 minutes.
I know that sounds like a dubious theory; after all, it's a circular thought, but have you ever noticed being uncontrollably drawn to what you truly dislike?
Aren't we all ? The kid who's morbidly afraid of violence joins the army ? I was this kid and i took up martial arts.
Maybe it isn't sexual at all? Maybe sex is just the latest place this quirk has manifested itself?
I think that our sexuality and all the other parts of us are connected but i'm not sure that answers anything. I like what i like. There was a question mark around my sexuality since i was young and its still there...
If you have no self-destructive tendencies, then maybe it is just a bit of a sexual kink.
Definitely a well balanced person with a high amount of self preservation & self esteem. Perhaps some confidence issues but nothing too serious.
Good luck with it...
Thanks. And i really appreciate you taking the time to discuss this and give me any answers. I guess its a life choice question. Marriage and kids will bring a certain comfort to me. But i'm not sure if marriage will bring huge regrets about not pursuing other things. On the other side if i go and hump ladyboys and never really settle down and experience the maturity of a marriage or a relationship with another human being then that may also bring regrets with it. At the moment i'm leaning torwards just following my cock. I'm not sure this is a good idea but the call is strong....
